Anakosha
Integrating sex and spirituality in the lifestyle
Emotions and Feelings
Your four "bodies"
In order to really enjoy sexual variety (and sex with each other), you should be aware of something you probably never thought about before. Just reading this article, hopefully you will remember it when you start meeting people for private dates or parties.
First, I want to lay the groundwork for what this article is about. Let’s take a moment to look at compatibility. A swinging house party of the type my husband and I have hosted over the years, becomes smooth and happy when couples get to know each other. In our case, we instructed them and prepared them and tested their ability to be intimate with others. There was a training period, which took time. We also weeded out those who would have caused problems. The result was a carefully screened group of couples who knew each other and were compatible. We focused on building trust. Then, because the women were comfortable and wanted to come back, the men were comfortable and wanted to come back and everyone was happy.
Now this type of harmony is often missing in swing parties. I’m uncomfortable at most parties because it doesn't feel very together. It's awkward. I feel antsy. It's because the people are fragmented and uncomfortable themselves. Standing inside the energy fields of people who are nervous and jittery, and drinking alcohol to calm their nerves, and talking too loud, and laughing too hard, it's like, "Get me out of here!"
That's why most house parties start out with a cocktail hour. It gives everyone a chance to relax and become comfortable. They start out greeting each other, perhaps hugging politely, then moving closer to feel each other out. They are trying to be compatible. If they know each other from past parties, it's much easier. But if they are strangers, alcoholic beverages are taken to relieve the stress. There's nothing wrong with a social drink or two. But more than that and the personality is altered. It's not good.
It's not easy for two different people, strangers to one another, each with separate histories, fantasies, fears, emotional pain, physical problems and other differences, to feel compatible. So what happens is, they focus on sex. They jump over the intimacy part, it's too complicated, so they get right into sex. It's easier. This is the general way of most swing parties.
At the parties I have hosted in the past, I have tried to help people feel emotionally and mentally comfortable. There is a whole list of things I pay attention to that I've noticed other party hosts don't. So Anakosha has enjoyed a reputation for having warm, compatible house parties which creates smooth and exciting encounters. Out there in other clubs I don't hear a lot of "smooth" coming back to me. I believe it's because most hosts, most people, are not aware of how important emotional and mental preparation is before entering this lifestyle.
I developed what I refer to as the YIN workshop to teach people how to integrate their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects ( PEMS for short) so they are in harmony and at peace with themselves. This was to be a way of preparing them for recreational sex, casual sex, with others. Trying to feel sensual with strangers is hard to do when you're still feeling nervous. The YIN workshop has been shelved for now. It would have been an all day thing, so I set it aside for a shorter version called "Massage Evenings" as I am explaining on this website.
When you come into swinging cold and unprepared, it can be very uncomfortable. The journey can be rough. You come in rather innocent, with a lot of hopes, dreams and fantasies, assuming everyone is like you. It takes a while to learn that they are not. It's disappointing, sometimes hurtful and often confusing. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. For example, how do you get out of a situation that has turned suddenly unpleasant? Like, you didn't know this man was going to push his wife onto your wife with such insistence, and you know your wife doesn't want any part of THAT!
I'm painting a picture of a common scenario. It's important to cover all your bases before you go into a bedroom with a stranger couple. It's important to discuss preferences, what you don't like, what you do like, whether you need to stay together, etc. Compare notes and make plans. You have to talk. That is the function of the mental body. You also need to feel emotionally comfortable. That is the function of the emotional body.There is a lot of psychological pressure in this lifestyle. All too often couples who are not ready are easily influenced by a couple who has more experience and more confidence. That translates into pressure. These are two out of the four bodies we are talking about here, that make up who you are as a whole human being. The other two bodies are the physical and spiritual bodies.
Physically, you may not need to be perfect. Nobody has perfect health. But if you have a cold or a herpes sore or a tooth ache or head ache or a back problem or hip problem or anything that causes discomfort or pain, you need to take that into consideration. Postpone the date until you feel better. Of course if you have anything contagious, you wouldn't even be considering a date in the first place. That is a no-no in swinging.
The spiritual body pertains to your moral belief system. If you really think it is a sin to be doing this, you need to find a way to make peace with yourself. I struggled with this many years ago and I'll tell you how I did it. I was already swinging and happy with it. But there was a nagging tiny little doubt that remained. I questioned once in a while if what I was doing was really right. I mean REALLY right on the level where it counts. The highest and holiest level of my being. My higher self, my soul, my spirit, my God.
One day - I remember exactly where I was when it happened - I was pulling under some shade trees to go into a dentist's office when the moment struck. I had been mulling it over as I was driving. Suddenly it hit me. I didn't need anybody's permission to do this. Not my soul, not my spirit, not my higher self and not God. Because I and I alone was the one who labeled a thing good or bad, It's my life and I'm the one in charge here, and I am calling this lifestyle good. It doesn't sound like much writing it out like this, but it was a significant moment for me. It was as clear as seeing forever. From that day forward I have been at peace with love and casual sex. Everyone has to find their own way of making peace with their higher self. It is within their capacity as a human being to do so.
You - you being the master of your body - have not one body, but four. Most people are focused on their physical body and think that's all there is, but there are three other bodies that influence you all day long. Your emotional, your mental and your spiritual. They are not really separate bodies. They are referred to in that way in the metaphysical science courses because they are separated by function and purpose and density. But they are all parts of you and you are one whole being. At least you should be. In order to get back to being one whole being, it helps to understand the parts that make up the whole. Each "body" serves you in a different manner. When you are comfortable on all four levels, then all four bodies sort of melt into one another and become one whole because YOU are comfortable and YOU are the master of your body. Then you feel at peace going forward with whatever you are considering, whether it be this lifestyle or a career change or whatever. It is as if you pave the pathway brick by brick, carefully, making sure the mortar is firm and solid, and eventually you reach the place where the door flies open.
First, I want to lay the groundwork for what this article is about. Let’s take a moment to look at compatibility. A swinging house party of the type my husband and I have hosted over the years, becomes smooth and happy when couples get to know each other. In our case, we instructed them and prepared them and tested their ability to be intimate with others. There was a training period, which took time. We also weeded out those who would have caused problems. The result was a carefully screened group of couples who knew each other and were compatible. We focused on building trust. Then, because the women were comfortable and wanted to come back, the men were comfortable and wanted to come back and everyone was happy.
Now this type of harmony is often missing in swing parties. I’m uncomfortable at most parties because it doesn't feel very together. It's awkward. I feel antsy. It's because the people are fragmented and uncomfortable themselves. Standing inside the energy fields of people who are nervous and jittery, and drinking alcohol to calm their nerves, and talking too loud, and laughing too hard, it's like, "Get me out of here!"
That's why most house parties start out with a cocktail hour. It gives everyone a chance to relax and become comfortable. They start out greeting each other, perhaps hugging politely, then moving closer to feel each other out. They are trying to be compatible. If they know each other from past parties, it's much easier. But if they are strangers, alcoholic beverages are taken to relieve the stress. There's nothing wrong with a social drink or two. But more than that and the personality is altered. It's not good.
It's not easy for two different people, strangers to one another, each with separate histories, fantasies, fears, emotional pain, physical problems and other differences, to feel compatible. So what happens is, they focus on sex. They jump over the intimacy part, it's too complicated, so they get right into sex. It's easier. This is the general way of most swing parties.
At the parties I have hosted in the past, I have tried to help people feel emotionally and mentally comfortable. There is a whole list of things I pay attention to that I've noticed other party hosts don't. So Anakosha has enjoyed a reputation for having warm, compatible house parties which creates smooth and exciting encounters. Out there in other clubs I don't hear a lot of "smooth" coming back to me. I believe it's because most hosts, most people, are not aware of how important emotional and mental preparation is before entering this lifestyle.
I developed what I refer to as the YIN workshop to teach people how to integrate their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects ( PEMS for short) so they are in harmony and at peace with themselves. This was to be a way of preparing them for recreational sex, casual sex, with others. Trying to feel sensual with strangers is hard to do when you're still feeling nervous. The YIN workshop has been shelved for now. It would have been an all day thing, so I set it aside for a shorter version called "Massage Evenings" as I am explaining on this website.
When you come into swinging cold and unprepared, it can be very uncomfortable. The journey can be rough. You come in rather innocent, with a lot of hopes, dreams and fantasies, assuming everyone is like you. It takes a while to learn that they are not. It's disappointing, sometimes hurtful and often confusing. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. For example, how do you get out of a situation that has turned suddenly unpleasant? Like, you didn't know this man was going to push his wife onto your wife with such insistence, and you know your wife doesn't want any part of THAT!
I'm painting a picture of a common scenario. It's important to cover all your bases before you go into a bedroom with a stranger couple. It's important to discuss preferences, what you don't like, what you do like, whether you need to stay together, etc. Compare notes and make plans. You have to talk. That is the function of the mental body. You also need to feel emotionally comfortable. That is the function of the emotional body.There is a lot of psychological pressure in this lifestyle. All too often couples who are not ready are easily influenced by a couple who has more experience and more confidence. That translates into pressure. These are two out of the four bodies we are talking about here, that make up who you are as a whole human being. The other two bodies are the physical and spiritual bodies.
Physically, you may not need to be perfect. Nobody has perfect health. But if you have a cold or a herpes sore or a tooth ache or head ache or a back problem or hip problem or anything that causes discomfort or pain, you need to take that into consideration. Postpone the date until you feel better. Of course if you have anything contagious, you wouldn't even be considering a date in the first place. That is a no-no in swinging.
The spiritual body pertains to your moral belief system. If you really think it is a sin to be doing this, you need to find a way to make peace with yourself. I struggled with this many years ago and I'll tell you how I did it. I was already swinging and happy with it. But there was a nagging tiny little doubt that remained. I questioned once in a while if what I was doing was really right. I mean REALLY right on the level where it counts. The highest and holiest level of my being. My higher self, my soul, my spirit, my God.
One day - I remember exactly where I was when it happened - I was pulling under some shade trees to go into a dentist's office when the moment struck. I had been mulling it over as I was driving. Suddenly it hit me. I didn't need anybody's permission to do this. Not my soul, not my spirit, not my higher self and not God. Because I and I alone was the one who labeled a thing good or bad, It's my life and I'm the one in charge here, and I am calling this lifestyle good. It doesn't sound like much writing it out like this, but it was a significant moment for me. It was as clear as seeing forever. From that day forward I have been at peace with love and casual sex. Everyone has to find their own way of making peace with their higher self. It is within their capacity as a human being to do so.
You - you being the master of your body - have not one body, but four. Most people are focused on their physical body and think that's all there is, but there are three other bodies that influence you all day long. Your emotional, your mental and your spiritual. They are not really separate bodies. They are referred to in that way in the metaphysical science courses because they are separated by function and purpose and density. But they are all parts of you and you are one whole being. At least you should be. In order to get back to being one whole being, it helps to understand the parts that make up the whole. Each "body" serves you in a different manner. When you are comfortable on all four levels, then all four bodies sort of melt into one another and become one whole because YOU are comfortable and YOU are the master of your body. Then you feel at peace going forward with whatever you are considering, whether it be this lifestyle or a career change or whatever. It is as if you pave the pathway brick by brick, carefully, making sure the mortar is firm and solid, and eventually you reach the place where the door flies open.
The emotional body
Your are pure consciousness with four bodies covering you. Your physical body is obvious. It is the vehicle you walk around in. The second body, the emotional body, is an invisible overlay that looks exactly like you, but it's lighter than the physical. It's etheric, and its molecules are spread further apart so it interpenetrates through your physical and extends out beyond your physical by several inches. Through it you can feel someone approaching before they actually touch your skin. You can feel when a close friend has a bad accident even at a distance. You can feel danger coming through your emotional body. That is its purpose. If you are planning to do something that your emotional body is not comfortable with, you feel bad. It's a sign that you need to do more work on figuring out why.
Your emotional body is packed full of repressed emotions which are mostly subconscious. That is its role, to hold emotions in check until you need them or call for them. There's a lot in there. You generally don't pay any attention to the little discomforts that ripple through you during the day. Maybe a flash of sadness, anger, jealousy, righteousness or some other feeling surfaces while you are busy trying to earn a living and don't have time, so you ignore them and press them down out of sight. And re-press it down when it pops up again. Repressed emotions are normal but they shouldn't be. We have learned to live with them but there is a way to clear them out so they don't weigh you down so much and don't impact your life all the time.
When you begin exploring this lifestyle, repressed emotions may and probably will start to come out. Whether good or bad, let them come. Don't re-press them. Allow them space. Encourage them. Honor them. Love them for serving you. They are you, they were once thoughts you didn't finish to a conclusion, They are your long lost children, created by you, who have been ignored and put on hold. Talk about them with someone who will listen, who has empathy and understanding. If your mate does not want to listen, find someone else to talk to. Your feelings are part of the journey. They ARE the journey. Self discovery is what this lifestyle (lovestyle) is all about. It's not about sex but about exploring feelings you have within you that are urging you to do this. You are striving to set them free. It's a sacred journey. Your feelings - meaning you - have been repressed by society, culture and parental programming. The sexual lifestyle is a permissive playground where you can take the lid off and let them come out. As you allow their release you will feel lighter and happier. The joy at being set finally free is an awesome experience. You may go home and make love all night long after an evening of sex with strangers because it helped you to open long-locked doors.
If what you're contemplating doesn't feel right to you, your emotional body may be warning you, "Watch out! Are you ready to take the lid off?" It doesn't mean that it's dangerous for you, but that you are in for some surprises. It's going to release some feelings in you you didn't know you had. It could be shocking. It could alter your reality. It probably will. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't go ahead with it. It means simply you should be fully present, fully aware, fully agreeable to be responsible. You will discover more about yourself.
Your emotional body is packed full of repressed emotions which are mostly subconscious. That is its role, to hold emotions in check until you need them or call for them. There's a lot in there. You generally don't pay any attention to the little discomforts that ripple through you during the day. Maybe a flash of sadness, anger, jealousy, righteousness or some other feeling surfaces while you are busy trying to earn a living and don't have time, so you ignore them and press them down out of sight. And re-press it down when it pops up again. Repressed emotions are normal but they shouldn't be. We have learned to live with them but there is a way to clear them out so they don't weigh you down so much and don't impact your life all the time.
When you begin exploring this lifestyle, repressed emotions may and probably will start to come out. Whether good or bad, let them come. Don't re-press them. Allow them space. Encourage them. Honor them. Love them for serving you. They are you, they were once thoughts you didn't finish to a conclusion, They are your long lost children, created by you, who have been ignored and put on hold. Talk about them with someone who will listen, who has empathy and understanding. If your mate does not want to listen, find someone else to talk to. Your feelings are part of the journey. They ARE the journey. Self discovery is what this lifestyle (lovestyle) is all about. It's not about sex but about exploring feelings you have within you that are urging you to do this. You are striving to set them free. It's a sacred journey. Your feelings - meaning you - have been repressed by society, culture and parental programming. The sexual lifestyle is a permissive playground where you can take the lid off and let them come out. As you allow their release you will feel lighter and happier. The joy at being set finally free is an awesome experience. You may go home and make love all night long after an evening of sex with strangers because it helped you to open long-locked doors.
If what you're contemplating doesn't feel right to you, your emotional body may be warning you, "Watch out! Are you ready to take the lid off?" It doesn't mean that it's dangerous for you, but that you are in for some surprises. It's going to release some feelings in you you didn't know you had. It could be shocking. It could alter your reality. It probably will. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't go ahead with it. It means simply you should be fully present, fully aware, fully agreeable to be responsible. You will discover more about yourself.
The mental body
Your mental body has its own set of restrictions for you. It too is invisible. It is more refined, less dense, than the emotions. It is larger and it's molecules are even more spread out than the emotional body. It also interpenetrates your physical body AND your emotional body and extends about four or five inches past your skin. It contains the wholeness of what you have been taught and believe. You can intellectualize about it where you cannot intellectualize your emotions because they are feelings. Through your mental body you rationalize and follow step A, step B, to step Z. You emanate your thoughts out into the atmosphere around you and you also pick up thoughts from others through your mental body. You attract people to you through your thoughts and through your feelings. Much of mental beliefs are subconscious. You are not aware of them. What you learned growing up is stored in the cellar of your mental body and the program is still running. Even now.
If you were raised by college-educated career parents in a Protestant religion and a Republican household in Ohio in the 60's, you've been programmed to live a certain way. While some of your ideas have advanced and changed over the years, you still have the basic program running in the cellar. This part of you provides boundaries and parameters that warn you when you are about to step out of line. It is a filtering system that keeps you walking the programmed path.
When you enter the lifestyle of sexual sharing, be aware that you may feel challenged by the thought of having sex with strangers, even though your wife or husband is present and has given permission, with love, because you're doing it together. If it is still setting off warning bells and flashing red lights it is because you are going against all that you were taught as a child. Some first thoughts that people have are, "What would my mother think if she saw me now?" This is a personal growth lesson. You are about to grow up! You are about to realize that you are not your parents. You can go into the cellar and delete the program and punch in new instructions that fit the times. You are the master of your body and you can make your own decisions about your life because you are now an adult. Childhood rules were given to protect the child. Adults may choose their own paths.
When you are next presented with a "gulp" moment that freezes you, just remember your mental body program. You are the master of ALL your bodies. You are the god of your being - the one who makes the rules. You are the one who is capable of bringing all four bodies into a singular alignment so they are all obeying your command. You have many programs that are running that are not only out of date, but out of control because you were never told you had these programs in the first place. They are telling YOU what you can and cannot do, instead of you telling THEM what you are going to do. It calls for conscious decision to delete the program and install a new one. You do that with intention and decision. It will clear your mind. It may take time if the resistance is strong, but remember that you are the master of your life. You are the sovereign ruler of your castle.
Don't look for answers from other people, and don't let yourself be pushed into anything before you are ready. Talk to yourself and delete your outdated programs. Install new ones. Be kind, loving and patient with yourself. Allow yourself to unfold gracefully and with dignity. Use these words on yourself. Be your own best friend and question your resistance. Weigh your potentials.
Personal growth is all about opening creaky old doors that don't want to move at first. We don't know what's in the cellar. The first step out of the box opens the door on the musty past. It lets in fresh air and light. Changes are starting right away. You can say, "Uh oh! I'm not ready yet. Maybe later," and close the door. That's OK. You're not rejecting it flat cold, but allowing yourself to process it. All of the various parts of yoursef - your emotions, your thoughts, your beliefs, your spiritual attitudes, sense of morality - all of you. Allow yourself to be comfortable with this. This is how you rewire yourself and grow a new, more open-minded version of yourself. Process. Process. Process.
If you were raised by college-educated career parents in a Protestant religion and a Republican household in Ohio in the 60's, you've been programmed to live a certain way. While some of your ideas have advanced and changed over the years, you still have the basic program running in the cellar. This part of you provides boundaries and parameters that warn you when you are about to step out of line. It is a filtering system that keeps you walking the programmed path.
When you enter the lifestyle of sexual sharing, be aware that you may feel challenged by the thought of having sex with strangers, even though your wife or husband is present and has given permission, with love, because you're doing it together. If it is still setting off warning bells and flashing red lights it is because you are going against all that you were taught as a child. Some first thoughts that people have are, "What would my mother think if she saw me now?" This is a personal growth lesson. You are about to grow up! You are about to realize that you are not your parents. You can go into the cellar and delete the program and punch in new instructions that fit the times. You are the master of your body and you can make your own decisions about your life because you are now an adult. Childhood rules were given to protect the child. Adults may choose their own paths.
When you are next presented with a "gulp" moment that freezes you, just remember your mental body program. You are the master of ALL your bodies. You are the god of your being - the one who makes the rules. You are the one who is capable of bringing all four bodies into a singular alignment so they are all obeying your command. You have many programs that are running that are not only out of date, but out of control because you were never told you had these programs in the first place. They are telling YOU what you can and cannot do, instead of you telling THEM what you are going to do. It calls for conscious decision to delete the program and install a new one. You do that with intention and decision. It will clear your mind. It may take time if the resistance is strong, but remember that you are the master of your life. You are the sovereign ruler of your castle.
Don't look for answers from other people, and don't let yourself be pushed into anything before you are ready. Talk to yourself and delete your outdated programs. Install new ones. Be kind, loving and patient with yourself. Allow yourself to unfold gracefully and with dignity. Use these words on yourself. Be your own best friend and question your resistance. Weigh your potentials.
Personal growth is all about opening creaky old doors that don't want to move at first. We don't know what's in the cellar. The first step out of the box opens the door on the musty past. It lets in fresh air and light. Changes are starting right away. You can say, "Uh oh! I'm not ready yet. Maybe later," and close the door. That's OK. You're not rejecting it flat cold, but allowing yourself to process it. All of the various parts of yoursef - your emotions, your thoughts, your beliefs, your spiritual attitudes, sense of morality - all of you. Allow yourself to be comfortable with this. This is how you rewire yourself and grow a new, more open-minded version of yourself. Process. Process. Process.
The spiritual body
Your fourth body is your spiritual body. It is larger than all of the others. It spreads out to maybe 12, 18 or 24 inches beyond your body. It depends on how much consciousness you give to it. It is soul knowledge. It contains all your previous life lessons. The spiritual body is above and beyond your conscious mind, unless you are already on the spiritual path. If you are studying spiritual things you are more aware of your spiritual body than those who don't study spiritual things. You expand your spiritual body through conscious thought, prayer, chanting, contemplation of higher things.
If you don't think much about spiritual concepts, your spiritual body is still packed with knowledge. You're just not conscious of it. The spiritual body is also a filter, just as the emotional and mental bodies are filters. Your spiritual body is your higher mind. It has the overview of your whole life. It won't let you do what is not right for you, although you can disagree with it and go against it. It is the still small voice of conscience, higher self, that nudges you with feelings of right and wrong (for you) for whatever reason. You are not meant to judge others based on your spiritual input. It is for you and you alone, to guide your life choices by. It would be good to listen to your spiritual self. It can make life much easier and help you avoid pitfalls.
Each of these four bodies has a different purpose in serving you. Because we have not been taught about them, per se, they have been allowed to run their own show and remain separate. In most people they are not in sync. Not aligned. People drink and take drugs to try to ease the pain of being out of balance with these four subtle layers of themselves. People are so accustomed to feeling bad these days, that it is not even unusual. We don't know why we feel bad or jealous or wired or confused or depressed or bored, it's just life we say. Life is not perfect and we learn to live with the discomfort. Discontent and friction are normal. However, if your four bodies were suddenly in sync, you would feel so good you would feel as if you were floating in bliss. You would be surprised at the level of soft peace that would surround you. This is why meditation, yoga and other inner practices are becoming so popular. These practices are helping them back into wholeness again.
If you don't think much about spiritual concepts, your spiritual body is still packed with knowledge. You're just not conscious of it. The spiritual body is also a filter, just as the emotional and mental bodies are filters. Your spiritual body is your higher mind. It has the overview of your whole life. It won't let you do what is not right for you, although you can disagree with it and go against it. It is the still small voice of conscience, higher self, that nudges you with feelings of right and wrong (for you) for whatever reason. You are not meant to judge others based on your spiritual input. It is for you and you alone, to guide your life choices by. It would be good to listen to your spiritual self. It can make life much easier and help you avoid pitfalls.
Each of these four bodies has a different purpose in serving you. Because we have not been taught about them, per se, they have been allowed to run their own show and remain separate. In most people they are not in sync. Not aligned. People drink and take drugs to try to ease the pain of being out of balance with these four subtle layers of themselves. People are so accustomed to feeling bad these days, that it is not even unusual. We don't know why we feel bad or jealous or wired or confused or depressed or bored, it's just life we say. Life is not perfect and we learn to live with the discomfort. Discontent and friction are normal. However, if your four bodies were suddenly in sync, you would feel so good you would feel as if you were floating in bliss. You would be surprised at the level of soft peace that would surround you. This is why meditation, yoga and other inner practices are becoming so popular. These practices are helping them back into wholeness again.
Integrating the four bodies
Your physical knows what it is doing; your emotional knows what it is doing; your mental knows what it is doing; and your spiritual knows what it is doing. But in so many people these aspects are not on the same page. Instead they are living separate lives because the master of the house isn't home. They might as well be four different people living in one body, like a schizophrenic.
For example, your mind may be mulling over the idea of how to enter this lifestyle. You've mentioned it to your wife but she didn't respond. So now what do you do? Various scenarios play out in your mind. You are an intelligent person. You know you have to handle this just right. You have mental fantasies about it but you're also afraid. Your emotional body is churning. There is a clutching in your stomach. You don't want to rock the boat. Maybe it's not the right thing to do. Your spiritual body may not be saying too much. You may be Catholic and your priest may have said it's a sin to enjoy sex outside of marriage, but you haven't been to church in years and you don't really believe it. Or do you? A little bit of concern there, but you push it down. Right now you're making supper for the kids and you have to help them with their homework. You are busy and you're tired, and you have a meeting in the morning. Still, the thought of swinging gives you an arousing tingle. A normal day in your life. This is a sign that all four bodies are not in alignment. Each of them running on a different level of consciousness.
We integrate the four aspects of ourselves by becoming still. Sitting down in a comfortable place and stopping the mind. Anywhere that is quiet and away from the TV, computer, phone and other people. With nobody to talk to and nothing to do, you consciously focus your attention on breathing and emptying your mind. Breathing and emptying. By breathing and emptying you are clearing your mind and becoming more peaceful. You are settling. The sense of peace is a sign that your four bodies are falling back together again, naturally. And you are doing this by conscious choice. Beautiful! The sign that someone is home and taking control. It is not necessary to go to a meditation class. Just take a few minutes every day and sit still and focus on breathing and emptying, in a place without phones, people, computer, radio, TV or anything to distract you. Sit still, breathe, empty, relax and it will all come together.
By coming to a natural stillness every day, not through drink or drugs, but naturally, you allow the integration of your four bodies. By consciously taking the time to sit in stillness, breath and empty, you are stopping the whirling blades of your mind and emotions. Your emotional body is not putting up any warnings, your mental body is not arguing with you, your physical body is at rest and your spiritual body is quietly filling you with a sense of gratitude - happy that you have taken time to be quiet. When you leave this quiet interlude with yourself you will feel peaceful and clear.
By integrating these four aspects every day, you will become a more peaceful person. You will be surprised at how good you feel. You will discover that you like yourself and your life more than you realize. You even may find you love yourself. As you explore the recreational sex lifestyle, one of the biggest problems people have is finding compatible others. Compatibility is not found through outer connections, but by inner connections. When you are peaceful you will attract others through inner compatibility.
In this lifestyle of sexual sharing it's not a matter of success or failure but about enjoyment and feeling comfortable. Your buzzing frenetic energy will no longer push people away. Your peaceful aura will permit them to approach you. By being comfortable emotionally, mentally and spiritually, you will also feel good physically. Your whole life will improve. Your health, your relationships, your love life, your family life, your career, everything, as you practice this great trick of taking time daily to sit in stillness and empty the frentic whirlings of the day. Take time out every day to become quiet. Breathe and empty. It's how the masters have done it down through the ages. Do it before making love too. Just a little hint into Tantra, which is a teaching that came from enlightened masters of the Far East.
As you step out into clubs to meet other couples for recreational sex, just remember to take some deep breaths and allow yourself to feel the peace of wholeness within yourself. Think thoughts of love and be in your heart. This is a master's trick. Your energies will radiate outward in smooth, long, sweet, undulating waves of peace vs. the short erratic nervous energy of someone who is talking too loud and too much. Others will feel your energy as warm and inviting. Whether you are a man or a woman, both genders will be attracted to you.
For example, your mind may be mulling over the idea of how to enter this lifestyle. You've mentioned it to your wife but she didn't respond. So now what do you do? Various scenarios play out in your mind. You are an intelligent person. You know you have to handle this just right. You have mental fantasies about it but you're also afraid. Your emotional body is churning. There is a clutching in your stomach. You don't want to rock the boat. Maybe it's not the right thing to do. Your spiritual body may not be saying too much. You may be Catholic and your priest may have said it's a sin to enjoy sex outside of marriage, but you haven't been to church in years and you don't really believe it. Or do you? A little bit of concern there, but you push it down. Right now you're making supper for the kids and you have to help them with their homework. You are busy and you're tired, and you have a meeting in the morning. Still, the thought of swinging gives you an arousing tingle. A normal day in your life. This is a sign that all four bodies are not in alignment. Each of them running on a different level of consciousness.
We integrate the four aspects of ourselves by becoming still. Sitting down in a comfortable place and stopping the mind. Anywhere that is quiet and away from the TV, computer, phone and other people. With nobody to talk to and nothing to do, you consciously focus your attention on breathing and emptying your mind. Breathing and emptying. By breathing and emptying you are clearing your mind and becoming more peaceful. You are settling. The sense of peace is a sign that your four bodies are falling back together again, naturally. And you are doing this by conscious choice. Beautiful! The sign that someone is home and taking control. It is not necessary to go to a meditation class. Just take a few minutes every day and sit still and focus on breathing and emptying, in a place without phones, people, computer, radio, TV or anything to distract you. Sit still, breathe, empty, relax and it will all come together.
By coming to a natural stillness every day, not through drink or drugs, but naturally, you allow the integration of your four bodies. By consciously taking the time to sit in stillness, breath and empty, you are stopping the whirling blades of your mind and emotions. Your emotional body is not putting up any warnings, your mental body is not arguing with you, your physical body is at rest and your spiritual body is quietly filling you with a sense of gratitude - happy that you have taken time to be quiet. When you leave this quiet interlude with yourself you will feel peaceful and clear.
By integrating these four aspects every day, you will become a more peaceful person. You will be surprised at how good you feel. You will discover that you like yourself and your life more than you realize. You even may find you love yourself. As you explore the recreational sex lifestyle, one of the biggest problems people have is finding compatible others. Compatibility is not found through outer connections, but by inner connections. When you are peaceful you will attract others through inner compatibility.
In this lifestyle of sexual sharing it's not a matter of success or failure but about enjoyment and feeling comfortable. Your buzzing frenetic energy will no longer push people away. Your peaceful aura will permit them to approach you. By being comfortable emotionally, mentally and spiritually, you will also feel good physically. Your whole life will improve. Your health, your relationships, your love life, your family life, your career, everything, as you practice this great trick of taking time daily to sit in stillness and empty the frentic whirlings of the day. Take time out every day to become quiet. Breathe and empty. It's how the masters have done it down through the ages. Do it before making love too. Just a little hint into Tantra, which is a teaching that came from enlightened masters of the Far East.
As you step out into clubs to meet other couples for recreational sex, just remember to take some deep breaths and allow yourself to feel the peace of wholeness within yourself. Think thoughts of love and be in your heart. This is a master's trick. Your energies will radiate outward in smooth, long, sweet, undulating waves of peace vs. the short erratic nervous energy of someone who is talking too loud and too much. Others will feel your energy as warm and inviting. Whether you are a man or a woman, both genders will be attracted to you.