The GoddessSphere
Messages of love from spirit
2/14/20 I Look to the Sun
I look to the sun. I look to the sun always. I look to the sun first upon awakening, and all through the day I watch it in its movement across the sky until it sinks below the horizon at night. All day I try to absorb as much of this conscious light as I can, for it keeps my hope alive through the night, knowing it will be there again in the morning.
I look to the sun because the church has taken away my hope and my goodness, and so I have turned my back on the church to look for goodness elsewhere. I looked for a better place in which to put my trust and I choose the sun because it is life-giving and does not deal in death. It is warm, not cold. It is natural, not unnatural. It is peaceful, not in conflict. It is innocent and does not judge. It gives pride, not humiliation. It gives happiness, not guilt. It gives freedom, not bondage. It gives expansiveness, not restriction. It is alive, not dead. It gives life to the earth. I am of the earth. It gives life to me.
Because I have turned my back on the church and looked to the sun, by accident I have stumbled upon a great truth, greater than the churches and greater than the saints, for I have seen God in the Sun, and heard him speak. He speaks to my soul, not to my mind. His rays bathe me in innocence as I stand alone in the meadow and reveals to me the sounds of the trees talking. My eyes have seen the pulsations of the earth. I hear the grasses whispering and the waters playing and the fires dancing. All of nature comes alive when the sun speaks to me and I know it, too, is alive and watching me. So long as the sun is beating down upon me I know that I am alive and well and there is hope - an eternal hope that no one or no thing can take away from me. I see that I have a chunk of the sun in my breast. It is like an inner light that flows like a spiritual fire through my veins, and I am lifted up.
As I look to the sun, it erases the errors laid upon me by the church. It burns away the hopelessness, shatters the depression, singes and sears away all imperfection given me by others, not myself. I look to the sun and it gives me miracles. It fills the void created by those self-righteous ones who put me down. But I have risen. The sun is like a father who nurtures me back to health. The sun knows I have further to go and it helps me to grow. It overlooks error, does not see “sin”. It makes no judgment, does not need promises to “be good”.
And as my father is the sun, so my mother is the earth. My father plays with her, empowers her, impassions her, impregnates her with a lust for life that is more powerful than man. Their offspring is the fertile soil, the tender grass, the volcanic fire, the roaring waters, the whispering firs, the hard stone, the soft sand, the colored flowers, the minerals, the herbs - and ME. I am a creation of the earth and just as pure as these things. My body is pure. My mind is pure. My soul is pure. The past is washed away and I stand in the innocence of now, my arms, my mind, my eyes, reaching for the sun.
And at night when the sun is gone I stand on my back porch and look to the stars and I see not one but BILLIONS of suns, and this galaxy of suns assures me that I am not wrong in the placement of my faith. The stars nurture me with the light of reason and order. It is an intelligent universe and I am reassured of my identity. I am what I am. And so it is that I look to the sun.
2/10/20 When is it OK to kill an enemy?
Many years ago my husband's 9-year old grandson Justin came to visit. It was the first time I met him. I was having kundalini visions at the time, and Justin had cosmic knowledge which he was not revealing. To anyone. All day long, he was quiet and played by himself. One day while shopping with me he said, "Look, this manikin looks real!" It was wearing a jacket about his size. I said, "Yes, but you can tell he's not real because he doesn't have an aura. Everything that lives has a vibration coming from them. This doesn't." I never saw anybody change so quickly. He suddenly came alive. He talked all the way home about everything mystical and asked questions non-stop until he left two weeks later. His knowledge of cosmic forces was equal to mine at age 45 with an awakened kundalini. Recently I found a letter to Justin which I want to share for two reasons. One, if you know a child who is not talking and you wish they would, perhaps you should open the topic of mystical, cosmic and magic. Secondly, the answer to the question, "When is it OK to kill an enemy?"
Dear Justin: Last night I had a dream-vision. It told me something that I wanted to pass along to you, for it answered a question. You always asked, When is it all right to kill an enemy or do battle with an enemy and still retain your powers? Without affecting your cosmic powers? Last night a very strange thing happened. In my dream I was at a party. It was not a normal dream. It was more vivid and more real, as if I were really there. I was sitting and talking to a group of people and a man came up behind me, to join the crowd. I felt his presence first. It was very strong. Very magnetic. I turned to look at him and he was very dynamic looking, and very attractive. He was blond and very handsome and charming, and he wore white with strange symbols on his shirt. I turned back to the crowd and continued talking.
Suddenly this blond man in white said something (I don’t remember what he said) but along with his words came a black ball of energy so powerful that it shook me. I immediately got up and left the room, instinctively. I did not want to be around him. I saw the ball of blackness as if it were physical and it was surrounded by a blue light and it seemed to knock me out of my senses.
I went out of the room and down a hallway and I found a small room in which there was an altar and several candles on it. it was a small prayer room with benches for sitting on. The candles were lit and so I moved in front of the altar and made a connection with the spiritual qualities of the room. It was like a saving grace for me and I took refuge in the calmness that was there. But immediately the blond man in white came in behind me. He was following me. He came toward me to invade my inner sanctum and his face registered a power that was frightening. He wanted to get rid of me. He didn’t want me around and he came forward with his arms reaching for me.
I raised my arm, my right arm, and through it came a power. I did not even have to think about it. It was instinctive. He was immediately thrown back against the wall, but he did not stay back. He came at me again with a mean look on his face and even more power behind him. This time I raised both arms and such a power, a clear, purity came out of my finger tips. My whole body shook with strength and determination and combated his force and our forces were equal.
But as we were held locked in this battle of power, a strange thing happened - funny and comical almost. My feet lifted up off the floor and swung back so that I was levitating in the air in front of the altar, face down and my arms still outstretched before me, as if all of the power needed the straightness of my body. Now I got him! The purity and cleanness of what was coming through me was too much for him and he was again thrown back against the wall and stayed there. This time he did not come back and I knew the highest power would ALWAYS win. There was a sureness that the clean power would always be able to combat the darker forces. The blond man simply disappeared. He didn’t leave the room. He vanished.
When I woke up I realized the answer to your question - When is it all right to do battle? When is it OK to fight? And the answer is, when your space is invaded. You do everything in your power to avoid a fight and you may even leave the scene of battle. But if it follows you and puts the pressure on you, then there is no choice. You have given ground once, but there is a point when you must fight back to preserve your space. Otherwise, those who try to rule other people will push and push and push until your back is against a wall. Free will is allowing everyone to have their space. But they only deserve THEIR space, they have no right to yours.
1/27/20 - Feminine energy needs an introduction
A dream showed me that energy gets blocked at the lower two chakras. I've been contemplating a workshop to help distribute this energy to all of the body. It is a feminine workshop. The feminine energy needs an introduction because it gets lost in the shuffle. We need to prepare a place for it. Feminine energy is quiet, peaceful, content within itself. It is the nurturing quality which expresses through loving mothering and loving fathering. Males have feminine energy too but it is over-ridden in our world and culture by loud voices, goal-oriented activities, busy-ness and confusion. But everyone has a nurturing side. In fact, a full 50% of our makeup is feminine, but we would never know that to look at our culture. We are all so busy doing something. Our passive nurturing side sits in quiet knowing, full of life, not needing anything else to complete itself. Feminine is soul. Spirit is male. Yes, we need a workshop to focus on feminine qualities. What are they?
12/21/19 - I am learning that....
The spiritual awakening is like a journey through a dark and mysterious forest. It’s like when we were born we were born into a house. It was a big house but a house nonetheless, with walls, floors and ceilings, and several floors, but it’s all boxed in. We learned the corners and floors and where everything was located and how to maneuver through this house. By living in this house we were cut off from the outside world, the larger world, the larger existence. But we learned to live with it. It became comfortable. We adapted. We made peace with it. But now the walls are starting to fall away. Holes are appearing in the ceiling and the floor. We are finding ourselves unbalanced. Where do we look to find stability? There is more openness all around us. There are new feelings in us. There are new feelings in our physical body. Where do we go for some solidarity?
I am learning that there IS a path that takes us through this scary space, and that path is a conscious journey. Each of us is waking up to reading our own consciousness. The information is in our meridians flowing through us, and in our chakras. When we sit in the silence and just observe, just listen to our body talking to us, our INNER body talking, we start learning new lessons. There is a light in the center of the heart and it radiates out in concentric waves like a pebble thrown in a pond. This light is information of a higher order than what we learned growing up, like how to get along with people, how to ride a bicycle, how to read and write and go to school and get a job and get married and raise a family and make meals and take care of our clothes and houses and yards and greet the neighbors. This information that comes to us in the stillness, when we are really, really quiet, comes in the form of peace and stillness. It feels comfortable and serene. And if we stay there long enough, we become blissful and maybe even enter the ecstatic state called nirvana. But then we come inevitably to the end of our stillness session, which is a lesson teaching us about the higher realms.
It is “talking” to us in a new language, preparing us in how to live in that higher place. When we come to the end and get up from our resting stillness, it is difficult to come back. We feel pulled out of a place that was so wonderful and harmonious, and back into separation again. The stillness teaching is showing us, in small gradual lessons, that we were reduced and separated from our comfortable natural place in the universe when we were born here in human form. This world is a world of small square corners but it is changing. The walls are dropping away, the ceiling is fading and even the floors are thinning out. We are being shown through the silence lessons in how to withdraw our power from external objects and other people and pull it back home to ourselves, to our inner stillness. There is the safety and the solidarity that we need to anchor ourselves to. And as the world shifts outside of us and objects and people disappear and move away, we are still here, within. We are being de-programmed from the external matrix, and it’s scary.
I am learning that the path to the inner self is easy to find. Many books have been written about it, and we can use those books for hints and guidance. Each one is another path we could follow. But the ONLY book that will get us there, is the book within ourself. The lessons are inside, in the heart, in the feelings, in the emotions, the moods, the still small voice, the dreams, the body responses. We are a walking library of light, of information. We can respect the paths and signposts of others, but we need to follow our own path. It’s easy and it’s fun to fall in love with someone else’s path, but we disempower ourselves by doing so. Every drop of attention we give to someone else’s path, we need to turn around and put it back into our own body, our own life, and integrate it into ourself. Otherwise, we are hooked into that other person and dependent upon him or her. These are the cords that spiritual healers speak of that we need to cut. Cutting cords is a healing technique to free us up from dependency on or attachment to other people. (Posted 12/21/19, inspired 3/7/15)
12/19/19 - You are your own authorities
I woke at 2:30 and couldn‘t go back to sleep so I went into the meditation room. I kept seeing cell phones in my mind. I sat down and took the clipboard and pen and relaxed, feeling a message was about to come. Then...
“You are your own authorities. There is no one - no one! - who can tell you what to do, how to act, to bow down and serve the wishes of others. The religions have been a sophisticated tool to control you. They have stolen your attention, your power, your thought, your belief in yourselves, away from you. There is no authority given over you by Creator, by heaven, by the angels or the Brotherhood of Man - there is ONLY freedom for you. The Earth is your happy paradise. D is correct when he says it is a garden of Eden for lovers. You ARE meant to love one another freely. In all ways, in all dimensions, in all programs of thought and creativity. A wonderful blessed garden of lush tropical beauty awaits your coming out, your breaking free of the tight control that others have placed on your mind, your thought, your emotions. Break free with your feelings. Dare to breathe. Breathe! Breathe free in your feelings for one another. Even swinging, as free as you felt in that field of pleasure, was not free - for you were still fighting the structure that had been imposed on you. You felt you were climbing over a wall, you felt secret. You felt the wall itself was still there.
“It is time to place yourself outside of the wall into the open fields under the sky and the clouds and the rain to enjoy freedom from old structures. No more garden walls. Only freedom to create, to love, to express your innermost and your higher most thoughts that you enjoy when you are alone in the quiet hours. These inner, higher thoughts and impressions are YOU, your talent, your song, your beauty, yes, your skill and your talent, given to you, bestowed unto you, to present to the united world that awaits you. The glorious beautiful free world of light, love and happiness. (I remembered the cell phone image)
“Yes, the cell phones were given to you as a rudimentary tool to reach out to others to communicate while mobile, disconnected from the old structure, the old buildings, the old fixed wires in the ground and on poles. You are free now, and the computer has given you access to knowledge you did not have access to before. So now you can ask your questions and open up a fount of information. But you still need to filter that information through your OWN heart and mind. Yes, measure truth through the fine and delicate frequency of your OWN sensing detectors. As you write these words you are practicing to receive. You are feeling and sensing. Breathe deeply. Breathe gently. Allow the words to flow through your heart. Yes, focus on your heart and the shining light of the sun in your chest. Allow that shining light, that sun, to filter these words coming through to your waking consciousness. You will soon be teaching others to feel through their hearts also. Practice at this. When you watch TV, listen to radio, read emails and books, filter this "in" formation of energy as it rides outward to your consciousness on your own frequency. You are a frequency forming a focus. You think of yourself as a body. Begin visualizing yourself as a sun shining in your chest, pulsating there, ebbing and flowing and sending messages out to you, your outer consciousness, your outer body, from higher planes.
(I stopped to think about that and the flow ended. Then, Full disclosure? I want to help. Is there anything I can do to help today in posting on the internet?)
“No, you have done well to come in to practice feeling our words. We will wake you when it is time to receive another message from us to the world. You are doing well with the many projects we have given you. Focus on those projects during your waking hours. We have cleared the decks for you so you can work undisturbed on these projects. You are our hands and feet, our bodies on Earth. Tell the world about us, the Galactic Federation of Light of which so many in your world have not a clue, even though they have listened to and watched the Star Trek movies. Those who are still caught in the matrix of convoluted psychological holograms, are yet prisoners of a false reality that is not a free world for them. You and other light workers are dismantling the grip of the Anunnaki but others need guidance. Breathe the light through your heart center for your heart center is love. Breathe everything through your love frequency. Love is the filtering mechanism. Love allows "information" that is pure in intention to come through. Lies, whether by purpose or by ignorance, either way, falsehood cannot pass through the filter of love - divine love - the light of love.” (inspired 9/22/12)
12/13/19 - "This is Tantra," he said
I lay on the massage table with earphones this morning instead of doing my normal meditations and exercises. I was so tired yesterday doing yard work that sleeping 8 hours didn’t bring me to proper balance. I still felt light-headed and not grounded. I lay on the table listening through earphones to “Feather on the Breath of God”. Very soft and uplifting. I was going to read but instead I found myself immediately transported and started calling on St. Germain, El Morya and Djwal Khul - the 3 ascended masters I seem to have connection with. I was there for an hour. I can’t find the words to tell this part of the experience because it was mostly floating and peaceful but too high for words. But then I said, "I want to bring this feeling and awareness into my physical body. How do I do that?."
I felt DK talking to me or rather relaying an awareness to me. They are so high above the human vibration it's hard to access them. I read somewhere that they have to burrow through what seems to them like brick walls to reach us. I have been asking DK to instruct me in Tantra, considering the work that I am involved in. I have to struggle for words because all information from the ascended masters comes through awareness. There are no words to explain the fluid shifting of awareness-slash-information that comes. I first felt DK up high at first and then he was coming down over me, very gently, very precise, very conscious. There were sparkles of colored lights, pinpoints of light. And then there was the emotional feeling that I always get from DK, which touches me with reverence and compassion and love and the many things that always bring me to tears. I associate this with DK's presence.
Then there was an awareness all through my physical body, as if I were waking up in each cell, each atom, and these were points of awareness in my body. I felt this physically. It was a really nice sensation, pleasant, of awareness being in a concrete body. It was very pleasurable. He was laying his awareness into me carefully. “This is Tantra”, he said. “Be aware. Be aware no matter what you are doing, be aware. It doesn’t matter what you do, it matters only that you be aware."
I felt the awareness as fine and exquisitely delicate, almost psychedelic with sharp but gentle outlines. I was aware that I AM this vast consciousness that is everywhere, in all things, unbroken by the forms I AM creating. I am one mind, one awareness. I am creating many things with my focus. I became aware of the ascended masters and what they are aware of but it's impossible to put into words. What makes me (Nancy) unique is my focus and what I am putting my attention on, plus all of my past memories and talents and karmic associations. I, Nancy, draw certain charged energies to me out of the vast sea of oneness because of my association with them. I hold them to me and around me but I am still one I AM. Everyone else is doing the same thing. We are all one I AM. We are each focusing on what interests us, what draws us, what impassions us, and we draw to us what we want. And then we become lost inside the forms and forget who we are!?
But we still are the ONE doing all of this and thinking these things and holding these human beings safe. Even the birds are the I AM focusing on the one thing they know how to do. And the deer in the pasture, and the insects on the ground, and the flowers blossoming, dropping, turning into fruit. And the trees bearing leaves, and the water falling, and the air making clouds and rain, and the earth trembling and moving and shaking. It's all coming from the one mind. I AM creating my little world around me by focusing on what I am doing. If I don’t focus on what I am doing I drift back into the oneness again through the daydream or the nightdream.
I asked to be instructed in Tantra and this is what I got this morning. DK showed me that this Oneness is the web of life that holds everything together. Tantra means "web" in Sanskrit. It doesn't actually "hold" things together, it IS everything. Even though we all live in different forms in conditions and situations that may appear foreign to us and we speak different languages and do different things, some ugly, some nice, this Oneness is flowing through everything all the time. The Oneness is aware. The web of life is the web of awareness. Even though we "forget" and lose consciousness, it's still there keeping us connected. We can't break that connection. We ARE the oneness. We can't escape that fact. But we can keep holding focus on our separateness and do things that divide us. We can keep holding onto past bad memories of mistakes and other errors that cause bad reactions and produce problems for us. But as we look up and do positive constructive things to help others we begin to feel good and the feel good sensations help us remember our way back to who we really are - the One I AM.
Humans keep paying the depression forward from life to life to life, but there is a way out. We always have the web of life connecting us to the Good that we are behind the forms we have created around us like a steel cocoon (the matrix). I asked to be instructed on Tantra and this is what I got so I wanted to record it. Thank you DK. (5/19/14)
12/11/19 - Enter into the pain
A revelation came to me today in the form of a vision. I was so achy and hurting when I got up this morning that I asked "Why?" as I went into the meditation room and sat down to do energy work. I was really stiff, unusually so, like iron. "What can I do to get rid of this pain?" I kept repeating that question. Then I got that I should not try to get rid of it but to love it back into myself.
I heard the words, "Enter into the pain and surrender to the pain because inside each pain is a particle of light that has been rejected or pressed down under and forgotten." Then the whole thing opened up and I saw the whole planet filled with repressed truths, like glowing diamonds of pure innocent light, crystal pure Creator light and love, that was repressed for one reason or another and buried. This has been going on for eons. These truths - innocence, purity, wholesomeness, naturalness, creative expressions - that have been squashed and squelched are now covered over with darkness and many of them are so ancient nobody remembers them. But the light is still there inside the darkness hidden away and forgotten. The darkness remains because the light is still there and somebody doesn't want that truth to be seen so the covering has to remain over it.
I saw this so clear. It was amazing how clear this was to me. These little sparkling particles of Creator covered by a dark shell are everywhere, like dark grains of sand on a beach, some small, some big, some connected, some standing alone. All sorts of things, maybe as small and insignificant as when a little child was smacked for doing what came natural to her and she had to bury that moment. Or a pretty young woman who was naturally flirtatious and dancing around enjoying life and she got raped so she had to hide her fun-loving side. Many babies born out of wedlock and that beautiful truth buried beneath a covering of lies. So many things, so many natural spontaneous beautiful spirits - creator lights - who were shut down and buried, I saw the whole planet covered by this dark stuff, but inside each piece of darkness a beautiful radiant piece of creator light. Now I understand what the darkness is that covers the planet. It's there because it's hiding the light that somebody tried to express naturally but couldn't.
I was told that the pain is my friend and so to face it and walk into it and welcome it, surrender to it and appreciate it and love the beauty of the darkness - not just the light but the darkness too - because it served you. Appreciate what it did for you. Love and honor the pain and the darkness and by so doing you welcome it and absorb it back into yourself because it's your darkness and pain - you created it - and I saw there was no difference between my pain and the pain of the planet because it's all connected. There is no "mine and thine", it's all part of the human consciousness. Embrace it and don't try to push it away any more. When I got up the stiffness was still there but I found myself bouncing downstairs with a lot more freedom and lightness than I had when I first got up. So there is a lot of truth in lightening up and getting rid of old stuff. (Inspired on 8/18/12)
Website first published 12/11/19
I look to the sun. I look to the sun always. I look to the sun first upon awakening, and all through the day I watch it in its movement across the sky until it sinks below the horizon at night. All day I try to absorb as much of this conscious light as I can, for it keeps my hope alive through the night, knowing it will be there again in the morning.
I look to the sun because the church has taken away my hope and my goodness, and so I have turned my back on the church to look for goodness elsewhere. I looked for a better place in which to put my trust and I choose the sun because it is life-giving and does not deal in death. It is warm, not cold. It is natural, not unnatural. It is peaceful, not in conflict. It is innocent and does not judge. It gives pride, not humiliation. It gives happiness, not guilt. It gives freedom, not bondage. It gives expansiveness, not restriction. It is alive, not dead. It gives life to the earth. I am of the earth. It gives life to me.
Because I have turned my back on the church and looked to the sun, by accident I have stumbled upon a great truth, greater than the churches and greater than the saints, for I have seen God in the Sun, and heard him speak. He speaks to my soul, not to my mind. His rays bathe me in innocence as I stand alone in the meadow and reveals to me the sounds of the trees talking. My eyes have seen the pulsations of the earth. I hear the grasses whispering and the waters playing and the fires dancing. All of nature comes alive when the sun speaks to me and I know it, too, is alive and watching me. So long as the sun is beating down upon me I know that I am alive and well and there is hope - an eternal hope that no one or no thing can take away from me. I see that I have a chunk of the sun in my breast. It is like an inner light that flows like a spiritual fire through my veins, and I am lifted up.
As I look to the sun, it erases the errors laid upon me by the church. It burns away the hopelessness, shatters the depression, singes and sears away all imperfection given me by others, not myself. I look to the sun and it gives me miracles. It fills the void created by those self-righteous ones who put me down. But I have risen. The sun is like a father who nurtures me back to health. The sun knows I have further to go and it helps me to grow. It overlooks error, does not see “sin”. It makes no judgment, does not need promises to “be good”.
And as my father is the sun, so my mother is the earth. My father plays with her, empowers her, impassions her, impregnates her with a lust for life that is more powerful than man. Their offspring is the fertile soil, the tender grass, the volcanic fire, the roaring waters, the whispering firs, the hard stone, the soft sand, the colored flowers, the minerals, the herbs - and ME. I am a creation of the earth and just as pure as these things. My body is pure. My mind is pure. My soul is pure. The past is washed away and I stand in the innocence of now, my arms, my mind, my eyes, reaching for the sun.
And at night when the sun is gone I stand on my back porch and look to the stars and I see not one but BILLIONS of suns, and this galaxy of suns assures me that I am not wrong in the placement of my faith. The stars nurture me with the light of reason and order. It is an intelligent universe and I am reassured of my identity. I am what I am. And so it is that I look to the sun.
2/10/20 When is it OK to kill an enemy?
Many years ago my husband's 9-year old grandson Justin came to visit. It was the first time I met him. I was having kundalini visions at the time, and Justin had cosmic knowledge which he was not revealing. To anyone. All day long, he was quiet and played by himself. One day while shopping with me he said, "Look, this manikin looks real!" It was wearing a jacket about his size. I said, "Yes, but you can tell he's not real because he doesn't have an aura. Everything that lives has a vibration coming from them. This doesn't." I never saw anybody change so quickly. He suddenly came alive. He talked all the way home about everything mystical and asked questions non-stop until he left two weeks later. His knowledge of cosmic forces was equal to mine at age 45 with an awakened kundalini. Recently I found a letter to Justin which I want to share for two reasons. One, if you know a child who is not talking and you wish they would, perhaps you should open the topic of mystical, cosmic and magic. Secondly, the answer to the question, "When is it OK to kill an enemy?"
Dear Justin: Last night I had a dream-vision. It told me something that I wanted to pass along to you, for it answered a question. You always asked, When is it all right to kill an enemy or do battle with an enemy and still retain your powers? Without affecting your cosmic powers? Last night a very strange thing happened. In my dream I was at a party. It was not a normal dream. It was more vivid and more real, as if I were really there. I was sitting and talking to a group of people and a man came up behind me, to join the crowd. I felt his presence first. It was very strong. Very magnetic. I turned to look at him and he was very dynamic looking, and very attractive. He was blond and very handsome and charming, and he wore white with strange symbols on his shirt. I turned back to the crowd and continued talking.
Suddenly this blond man in white said something (I don’t remember what he said) but along with his words came a black ball of energy so powerful that it shook me. I immediately got up and left the room, instinctively. I did not want to be around him. I saw the ball of blackness as if it were physical and it was surrounded by a blue light and it seemed to knock me out of my senses.
I went out of the room and down a hallway and I found a small room in which there was an altar and several candles on it. it was a small prayer room with benches for sitting on. The candles were lit and so I moved in front of the altar and made a connection with the spiritual qualities of the room. It was like a saving grace for me and I took refuge in the calmness that was there. But immediately the blond man in white came in behind me. He was following me. He came toward me to invade my inner sanctum and his face registered a power that was frightening. He wanted to get rid of me. He didn’t want me around and he came forward with his arms reaching for me.
I raised my arm, my right arm, and through it came a power. I did not even have to think about it. It was instinctive. He was immediately thrown back against the wall, but he did not stay back. He came at me again with a mean look on his face and even more power behind him. This time I raised both arms and such a power, a clear, purity came out of my finger tips. My whole body shook with strength and determination and combated his force and our forces were equal.
But as we were held locked in this battle of power, a strange thing happened - funny and comical almost. My feet lifted up off the floor and swung back so that I was levitating in the air in front of the altar, face down and my arms still outstretched before me, as if all of the power needed the straightness of my body. Now I got him! The purity and cleanness of what was coming through me was too much for him and he was again thrown back against the wall and stayed there. This time he did not come back and I knew the highest power would ALWAYS win. There was a sureness that the clean power would always be able to combat the darker forces. The blond man simply disappeared. He didn’t leave the room. He vanished.
When I woke up I realized the answer to your question - When is it all right to do battle? When is it OK to fight? And the answer is, when your space is invaded. You do everything in your power to avoid a fight and you may even leave the scene of battle. But if it follows you and puts the pressure on you, then there is no choice. You have given ground once, but there is a point when you must fight back to preserve your space. Otherwise, those who try to rule other people will push and push and push until your back is against a wall. Free will is allowing everyone to have their space. But they only deserve THEIR space, they have no right to yours.
1/27/20 - Feminine energy needs an introduction
A dream showed me that energy gets blocked at the lower two chakras. I've been contemplating a workshop to help distribute this energy to all of the body. It is a feminine workshop. The feminine energy needs an introduction because it gets lost in the shuffle. We need to prepare a place for it. Feminine energy is quiet, peaceful, content within itself. It is the nurturing quality which expresses through loving mothering and loving fathering. Males have feminine energy too but it is over-ridden in our world and culture by loud voices, goal-oriented activities, busy-ness and confusion. But everyone has a nurturing side. In fact, a full 50% of our makeup is feminine, but we would never know that to look at our culture. We are all so busy doing something. Our passive nurturing side sits in quiet knowing, full of life, not needing anything else to complete itself. Feminine is soul. Spirit is male. Yes, we need a workshop to focus on feminine qualities. What are they?
12/21/19 - I am learning that....
The spiritual awakening is like a journey through a dark and mysterious forest. It’s like when we were born we were born into a house. It was a big house but a house nonetheless, with walls, floors and ceilings, and several floors, but it’s all boxed in. We learned the corners and floors and where everything was located and how to maneuver through this house. By living in this house we were cut off from the outside world, the larger world, the larger existence. But we learned to live with it. It became comfortable. We adapted. We made peace with it. But now the walls are starting to fall away. Holes are appearing in the ceiling and the floor. We are finding ourselves unbalanced. Where do we look to find stability? There is more openness all around us. There are new feelings in us. There are new feelings in our physical body. Where do we go for some solidarity?
I am learning that there IS a path that takes us through this scary space, and that path is a conscious journey. Each of us is waking up to reading our own consciousness. The information is in our meridians flowing through us, and in our chakras. When we sit in the silence and just observe, just listen to our body talking to us, our INNER body talking, we start learning new lessons. There is a light in the center of the heart and it radiates out in concentric waves like a pebble thrown in a pond. This light is information of a higher order than what we learned growing up, like how to get along with people, how to ride a bicycle, how to read and write and go to school and get a job and get married and raise a family and make meals and take care of our clothes and houses and yards and greet the neighbors. This information that comes to us in the stillness, when we are really, really quiet, comes in the form of peace and stillness. It feels comfortable and serene. And if we stay there long enough, we become blissful and maybe even enter the ecstatic state called nirvana. But then we come inevitably to the end of our stillness session, which is a lesson teaching us about the higher realms.
It is “talking” to us in a new language, preparing us in how to live in that higher place. When we come to the end and get up from our resting stillness, it is difficult to come back. We feel pulled out of a place that was so wonderful and harmonious, and back into separation again. The stillness teaching is showing us, in small gradual lessons, that we were reduced and separated from our comfortable natural place in the universe when we were born here in human form. This world is a world of small square corners but it is changing. The walls are dropping away, the ceiling is fading and even the floors are thinning out. We are being shown through the silence lessons in how to withdraw our power from external objects and other people and pull it back home to ourselves, to our inner stillness. There is the safety and the solidarity that we need to anchor ourselves to. And as the world shifts outside of us and objects and people disappear and move away, we are still here, within. We are being de-programmed from the external matrix, and it’s scary.
I am learning that the path to the inner self is easy to find. Many books have been written about it, and we can use those books for hints and guidance. Each one is another path we could follow. But the ONLY book that will get us there, is the book within ourself. The lessons are inside, in the heart, in the feelings, in the emotions, the moods, the still small voice, the dreams, the body responses. We are a walking library of light, of information. We can respect the paths and signposts of others, but we need to follow our own path. It’s easy and it’s fun to fall in love with someone else’s path, but we disempower ourselves by doing so. Every drop of attention we give to someone else’s path, we need to turn around and put it back into our own body, our own life, and integrate it into ourself. Otherwise, we are hooked into that other person and dependent upon him or her. These are the cords that spiritual healers speak of that we need to cut. Cutting cords is a healing technique to free us up from dependency on or attachment to other people. (Posted 12/21/19, inspired 3/7/15)
12/19/19 - You are your own authorities
I woke at 2:30 and couldn‘t go back to sleep so I went into the meditation room. I kept seeing cell phones in my mind. I sat down and took the clipboard and pen and relaxed, feeling a message was about to come. Then...
“You are your own authorities. There is no one - no one! - who can tell you what to do, how to act, to bow down and serve the wishes of others. The religions have been a sophisticated tool to control you. They have stolen your attention, your power, your thought, your belief in yourselves, away from you. There is no authority given over you by Creator, by heaven, by the angels or the Brotherhood of Man - there is ONLY freedom for you. The Earth is your happy paradise. D is correct when he says it is a garden of Eden for lovers. You ARE meant to love one another freely. In all ways, in all dimensions, in all programs of thought and creativity. A wonderful blessed garden of lush tropical beauty awaits your coming out, your breaking free of the tight control that others have placed on your mind, your thought, your emotions. Break free with your feelings. Dare to breathe. Breathe! Breathe free in your feelings for one another. Even swinging, as free as you felt in that field of pleasure, was not free - for you were still fighting the structure that had been imposed on you. You felt you were climbing over a wall, you felt secret. You felt the wall itself was still there.
“It is time to place yourself outside of the wall into the open fields under the sky and the clouds and the rain to enjoy freedom from old structures. No more garden walls. Only freedom to create, to love, to express your innermost and your higher most thoughts that you enjoy when you are alone in the quiet hours. These inner, higher thoughts and impressions are YOU, your talent, your song, your beauty, yes, your skill and your talent, given to you, bestowed unto you, to present to the united world that awaits you. The glorious beautiful free world of light, love and happiness. (I remembered the cell phone image)
“Yes, the cell phones were given to you as a rudimentary tool to reach out to others to communicate while mobile, disconnected from the old structure, the old buildings, the old fixed wires in the ground and on poles. You are free now, and the computer has given you access to knowledge you did not have access to before. So now you can ask your questions and open up a fount of information. But you still need to filter that information through your OWN heart and mind. Yes, measure truth through the fine and delicate frequency of your OWN sensing detectors. As you write these words you are practicing to receive. You are feeling and sensing. Breathe deeply. Breathe gently. Allow the words to flow through your heart. Yes, focus on your heart and the shining light of the sun in your chest. Allow that shining light, that sun, to filter these words coming through to your waking consciousness. You will soon be teaching others to feel through their hearts also. Practice at this. When you watch TV, listen to radio, read emails and books, filter this "in" formation of energy as it rides outward to your consciousness on your own frequency. You are a frequency forming a focus. You think of yourself as a body. Begin visualizing yourself as a sun shining in your chest, pulsating there, ebbing and flowing and sending messages out to you, your outer consciousness, your outer body, from higher planes.
(I stopped to think about that and the flow ended. Then, Full disclosure? I want to help. Is there anything I can do to help today in posting on the internet?)
“No, you have done well to come in to practice feeling our words. We will wake you when it is time to receive another message from us to the world. You are doing well with the many projects we have given you. Focus on those projects during your waking hours. We have cleared the decks for you so you can work undisturbed on these projects. You are our hands and feet, our bodies on Earth. Tell the world about us, the Galactic Federation of Light of which so many in your world have not a clue, even though they have listened to and watched the Star Trek movies. Those who are still caught in the matrix of convoluted psychological holograms, are yet prisoners of a false reality that is not a free world for them. You and other light workers are dismantling the grip of the Anunnaki but others need guidance. Breathe the light through your heart center for your heart center is love. Breathe everything through your love frequency. Love is the filtering mechanism. Love allows "information" that is pure in intention to come through. Lies, whether by purpose or by ignorance, either way, falsehood cannot pass through the filter of love - divine love - the light of love.” (inspired 9/22/12)
12/13/19 - "This is Tantra," he said
I lay on the massage table with earphones this morning instead of doing my normal meditations and exercises. I was so tired yesterday doing yard work that sleeping 8 hours didn’t bring me to proper balance. I still felt light-headed and not grounded. I lay on the table listening through earphones to “Feather on the Breath of God”. Very soft and uplifting. I was going to read but instead I found myself immediately transported and started calling on St. Germain, El Morya and Djwal Khul - the 3 ascended masters I seem to have connection with. I was there for an hour. I can’t find the words to tell this part of the experience because it was mostly floating and peaceful but too high for words. But then I said, "I want to bring this feeling and awareness into my physical body. How do I do that?."
I felt DK talking to me or rather relaying an awareness to me. They are so high above the human vibration it's hard to access them. I read somewhere that they have to burrow through what seems to them like brick walls to reach us. I have been asking DK to instruct me in Tantra, considering the work that I am involved in. I have to struggle for words because all information from the ascended masters comes through awareness. There are no words to explain the fluid shifting of awareness-slash-information that comes. I first felt DK up high at first and then he was coming down over me, very gently, very precise, very conscious. There were sparkles of colored lights, pinpoints of light. And then there was the emotional feeling that I always get from DK, which touches me with reverence and compassion and love and the many things that always bring me to tears. I associate this with DK's presence.
Then there was an awareness all through my physical body, as if I were waking up in each cell, each atom, and these were points of awareness in my body. I felt this physically. It was a really nice sensation, pleasant, of awareness being in a concrete body. It was very pleasurable. He was laying his awareness into me carefully. “This is Tantra”, he said. “Be aware. Be aware no matter what you are doing, be aware. It doesn’t matter what you do, it matters only that you be aware."
I felt the awareness as fine and exquisitely delicate, almost psychedelic with sharp but gentle outlines. I was aware that I AM this vast consciousness that is everywhere, in all things, unbroken by the forms I AM creating. I am one mind, one awareness. I am creating many things with my focus. I became aware of the ascended masters and what they are aware of but it's impossible to put into words. What makes me (Nancy) unique is my focus and what I am putting my attention on, plus all of my past memories and talents and karmic associations. I, Nancy, draw certain charged energies to me out of the vast sea of oneness because of my association with them. I hold them to me and around me but I am still one I AM. Everyone else is doing the same thing. We are all one I AM. We are each focusing on what interests us, what draws us, what impassions us, and we draw to us what we want. And then we become lost inside the forms and forget who we are!?
But we still are the ONE doing all of this and thinking these things and holding these human beings safe. Even the birds are the I AM focusing on the one thing they know how to do. And the deer in the pasture, and the insects on the ground, and the flowers blossoming, dropping, turning into fruit. And the trees bearing leaves, and the water falling, and the air making clouds and rain, and the earth trembling and moving and shaking. It's all coming from the one mind. I AM creating my little world around me by focusing on what I am doing. If I don’t focus on what I am doing I drift back into the oneness again through the daydream or the nightdream.
I asked to be instructed in Tantra and this is what I got this morning. DK showed me that this Oneness is the web of life that holds everything together. Tantra means "web" in Sanskrit. It doesn't actually "hold" things together, it IS everything. Even though we all live in different forms in conditions and situations that may appear foreign to us and we speak different languages and do different things, some ugly, some nice, this Oneness is flowing through everything all the time. The Oneness is aware. The web of life is the web of awareness. Even though we "forget" and lose consciousness, it's still there keeping us connected. We can't break that connection. We ARE the oneness. We can't escape that fact. But we can keep holding focus on our separateness and do things that divide us. We can keep holding onto past bad memories of mistakes and other errors that cause bad reactions and produce problems for us. But as we look up and do positive constructive things to help others we begin to feel good and the feel good sensations help us remember our way back to who we really are - the One I AM.
Humans keep paying the depression forward from life to life to life, but there is a way out. We always have the web of life connecting us to the Good that we are behind the forms we have created around us like a steel cocoon (the matrix). I asked to be instructed on Tantra and this is what I got so I wanted to record it. Thank you DK. (5/19/14)
12/11/19 - Enter into the pain
A revelation came to me today in the form of a vision. I was so achy and hurting when I got up this morning that I asked "Why?" as I went into the meditation room and sat down to do energy work. I was really stiff, unusually so, like iron. "What can I do to get rid of this pain?" I kept repeating that question. Then I got that I should not try to get rid of it but to love it back into myself.
I heard the words, "Enter into the pain and surrender to the pain because inside each pain is a particle of light that has been rejected or pressed down under and forgotten." Then the whole thing opened up and I saw the whole planet filled with repressed truths, like glowing diamonds of pure innocent light, crystal pure Creator light and love, that was repressed for one reason or another and buried. This has been going on for eons. These truths - innocence, purity, wholesomeness, naturalness, creative expressions - that have been squashed and squelched are now covered over with darkness and many of them are so ancient nobody remembers them. But the light is still there inside the darkness hidden away and forgotten. The darkness remains because the light is still there and somebody doesn't want that truth to be seen so the covering has to remain over it.
I saw this so clear. It was amazing how clear this was to me. These little sparkling particles of Creator covered by a dark shell are everywhere, like dark grains of sand on a beach, some small, some big, some connected, some standing alone. All sorts of things, maybe as small and insignificant as when a little child was smacked for doing what came natural to her and she had to bury that moment. Or a pretty young woman who was naturally flirtatious and dancing around enjoying life and she got raped so she had to hide her fun-loving side. Many babies born out of wedlock and that beautiful truth buried beneath a covering of lies. So many things, so many natural spontaneous beautiful spirits - creator lights - who were shut down and buried, I saw the whole planet covered by this dark stuff, but inside each piece of darkness a beautiful radiant piece of creator light. Now I understand what the darkness is that covers the planet. It's there because it's hiding the light that somebody tried to express naturally but couldn't.
I was told that the pain is my friend and so to face it and walk into it and welcome it, surrender to it and appreciate it and love the beauty of the darkness - not just the light but the darkness too - because it served you. Appreciate what it did for you. Love and honor the pain and the darkness and by so doing you welcome it and absorb it back into yourself because it's your darkness and pain - you created it - and I saw there was no difference between my pain and the pain of the planet because it's all connected. There is no "mine and thine", it's all part of the human consciousness. Embrace it and don't try to push it away any more. When I got up the stiffness was still there but I found myself bouncing downstairs with a lot more freedom and lightness than I had when I first got up. So there is a lot of truth in lightening up and getting rid of old stuff. (Inspired on 8/18/12)
Website first published 12/11/19