Anakosha
Integrating sex and spirituality in the lifestyle
Hygiene hints for swingers
Over the years those in the sharing lifestyle have passed along many preventive maintenance secrets to friends. We have accumulated a fairly long list of them. On the surface these points may not seem too serious, but don't be fooled. This information is directly responsible for the prevention of disease in our lifestyle. You don't see disease very often in our network because people share sexual information. Disease pops up when someone is embarassed to say anything. Not the case in our lifestyle. Then again, sometimes only one case of something pops up and nobody else gets it. Why does one person "catch" something in a group when no one else does? Hygiene and body maintenance. We all have viruses and bacteria in our bodies. They are all around us all the time. You can't avoid contact with them even if you were to stay at home. Our bodies are designed to protect us. Your skin, for example, is a protector against dirt. Are you breaking the skin during sex? Your immune system wards off disease. Are you weakening it by unhealthy habits? Are you filling your body with toxins so that it's overworked and too tired to fight infections? Are you eating good nutritional food? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you cleaning before and after sex to wash away other peoples' bacteria, even your own partner at home? You are more vulnerable to disease when you are under stress or not eating properly or not sleeping regularly. And when you are taking too many pharmaceuticals that are not natural to your body. And when you do not clean properly.
If you are actively sharing sex partners, get tested every year for STDs at the County Health Department. By all means, use condoms but, frankly, condoms are not that safe. They can have holes in them and they can come off in a rambunctious encounter. The safest approach to the disease problem is cleanliness, good personal hygiene, good nutrition, exercise, a minimum of pharmaceuticals that weaken your immune system, and get tested once a year for STDs. It is wise to back up your trust in condoms with cleanliness, sensible choices and thoughtful behavior.
Below are some safety practices that have come from lifestyle friends. We urge you to not only read the following list, but add to it for yourself as you go along. Post it somewhere secret and refer to it from time to time. In the end, you are responsible for your own health.
1. Shower before an encounter. Before partying, take a shower or bath with lots of soap. If you took a shower at home and traveled to another location, take another shower before getting into bed with someone. At least wash the genital area. The purpose is to wash off your own accumulated dirt that could get into your own urinary tract, vagina or mouth through body rubbings which could cause YOU a problem as well as your date.
2. Uncircumcised men, clean under the foreskin. A woman hates to find little scummy things
when performing oral sex, your reputation will not be too good if they find something. Always remember that women talk among themselves. And so do men. Good personal grooming goes a long way in this lifestyle.
3. Men, shave within an hour of the party. Bring disposible razors with you and shaving cream. Some men need to shave twice in a night if they have heavy beards. Passionate action with a two-day stubble, whether on the face or between the thighs, can cut the skin and create sores and big red blotchy rashes the next day. Plus open wounds are how bacteria and virus get into the body.
4. Use mouthwash before an encounter. Mouth wash is excellent to wash away smokers breath, or the taste of former sex partner, food or drink. Better yet, brush your teeth. Food remnants start to decay right away in the mouth, creating another source of bacteria to transfer to other locations.
5. Wash after each sexual encounter. Often there are several encounters in an evening. If it's not convenient to take a shower after each one, at least clean your mouth and genitals with soap and water. All party hosts have huge stacks of wash cloths and a floor receptacle into which to throw the used ones. For you party hosts: this is an important item. Stack up on wash cloths. Don't use someone else's washcloth.
6. Wash beards, face and hands after each sexual encounter. Beards and mustaches hold a lot of dried juice and bacteria in them after oral sex, as well as food after eating. I've heard complaints of smelly dirty beards. Be sure to keep them clean.
7. Wash under fingernails. Use a fingernail brush and soap and water. Organic debris, flakes of skin, bacteria and juices get trapped under finger nails. You can infect yourself as well as others. These suggestions may sound way too simple to even mention, but people complain about such things. These are merely reminders.
8. Keep your fingernails cut down to normal size. For both men and women. If you are going to play intimately with other people, long fingernails are dangerous! Especially if you plan to put them inside someone. You can cut through the walls of soft membranes very easily with your finger nail.
9. Take off your big glitzy rings. And watches and earrings, too. A lot of people don't think of this, but they cause a lot of damage. They scratch across the skin and draw blood. Be aware of anything you are wearing that is sharp. This is deadly serious. They cause infections. Besides, many women lose their earrings in bedrooms. Better to take them off ahead of time.
10. Don't put cologne on the genital area. Both men and women. Colognes and perfumes can irritate the sensitive mouth and tender thighs. If you want to smell pleasant, put just a little bit to the south of the area. We would sometimes see people next day with red blotches on their faces (people would sleep overnight). It took awhile to realize what was happening.
11. Urinate after sex. Urinating after sex prevents urethral infections. Go immediately after to wash away any foreign bacteria that might have become lodged in the urinary tract. These bacteria can be from your own body, not necessarily from your partner's body. Here's how infections happen. There are different types of bacteria in each body opening which act as housekeepers for that particular area. These bacteria are the good guys for that area. They attack any foreign particles that invade their territory. But if they themselves become dislocated, as often happens in sex, they don't know the difference. Anal bacteria relocated to a vagina will think they are attacking invaders and begin to multiply. They're just getting ready to go into battle mode. You can't blame them. They will turn into raging monsters unless you wash them away. Urinate even if it is just a few drops. It will help prevent minor urinary tract infections.
12. Women, douche with just plain water after sex. After a foreign sexual encounter, douche with just plain water before going to sleep. This prevents vaginal yeast infections. You don't have to douche inbetween encounters, it could dry you out, but definitely do after the last encounter. Vaginal infections start the same way urinary tract infections start - from bacteria that has relocated from another part of the body. This is a common problem with women and they want to blame it on a serious disease from someone they were with. But it's almost certain to have come from a bacteria that relocated from another part of their own body. Again, cleanliness and hygiene. Medical professionals will resist this and advise against douching, but they haven't been in the lifestyle! Diana's personal history has proven that douching works. Just plain water. Before douching she had many yeast infections, one after the other. Then a Navy doctor told her to douche - with just plain water - after sex. She did and the yeast infections stopped miraculously. Good guy bacteria in the anal canal, the urinary tract and vagina turn into bad guy bacteria when they are transferred to another place. It doesn't belong there and it needs washing away. Don't use chemical douches as these will upset the body's chemistry. Just plain water will do the trick. And better to buy a gravity-fed bouche bag or combination enema/douche bag . Fill it with warm tap water, hang it on a hook or hold it, squat in the bathrub or toilet, insert the bulbous end and let it flow. Alternately squeeze and release to swish the water around inside. Diana found that there were women who had never douched before and didn't know how.
13. Don't use the vibrator over clothing. We are referring to the Hitachi Magic Wand which is famous to women in the lifestyle, but there are others too. When you rub a vibrator over clothing, it can rub the dye from the cloth into the skin causing skin irritation or infection. There was a case of this happening.
14. Don't do anal sex with strangers. Many diseases are passed through anal sex, AIDS and tuberculosis included. Of course condoms are being used with strangers but condoms are not necessarily safe. You cannot guarantee that they will stay on. The alimentary canal (the bowels) are built to absorb nutrients from the food that passes through it. With the colon walls so very absorbant and the blood vessels so very close to the surface, ready to receive and distribute the nutrients throughout the body, the anal canal will receive disease faster than other areas in the body. It was not built to stretch like the vagina does. When an erect penis enters the colon, it stretches and creates tiny lesions in the walls. Even with lubrication, ejaculate and whatever the ejaculate may be carrying, can enter the blood stream directly through the absorbant walls or tiny lesions in the walls. If you enjoy anal sex, we recommend doing it only with men you know. Anal sex is the most dangerous form of sex for that reason.
15. Be careful of open running sores. Do not have sex when open running sores are present. If you are exploring the body of a stranger and see something like this, and your instincts tell you "Uh oh!" listen to them. It is better to tell the person directly and up front, the reason why you want to wait for a next time. The person with the running sore may not even realize (or is in denial) so he or she needs to be told to heal first before having sex. We all like it when someone tells us the truth instead of beating around the bush. Don't be afraid to abort an encounter for any reason that suddenly makes you nervous. Ask about it. What is it? Discuss the matter openly.
16. If you suspect venereal disease, go to the County Public Health Department, not a private doctor. The County Health Department is trained to recognize STD's better than most doctors. Sometimes private doctors misdiagnose venereal disease, which is dangerous because it prolongs proper treatment and can poison the system with improper medication.
17. Get an AIDS test. This is important in and of itself, but it will also help you to check out your local County Health Department and see how it operates. Be prepared for some very specific questions like, How many sex partners have you had in a year? Bisexual?
18. If you find out that you have a venereal disease Call your recent sex partners right away. You might have caught it from someone at the party, or you might have passed it on to someone. Either way, the responsible thing to do is share the information. Nip it in the bud. There is no blame cast within this circle of friends and we don't spend time wondering who gave it to whom. There is an understanding in this lifestyle that we share the problems as well as the joys.
19. Trust your instincts. Don't party with someone if you sense something you don't like. You may not know what it is, but your instincts may be telling you something that is too subtle for your normal senses to detect. Instincts should always be followed. They will keep you healthy and away from danger. Listen to your body.
20. Tell the person if you want to use condoms before going to the bedroom. Don't wait until after you get there. Some men don't want to use a condom. It is awkward for a man to attempt to put on a condom if he can't maintain an erection, and only he knows how easy or hard it is for him to get erections. Let him have the right of refusal before the bedroom stage. And sometimes a woman has allergic reactions to condoms and will not want to use them.
21. Men who have penile implants, don't let a woman perform oral forever! There have been instances when a woman did not know that a man had a penile implant and he let her go on and on until she wore herself out and when she found out that he had an implant, she became very angry with him. Tell the woman up front about your implant.
22. Pregnancy prevention is the woman's responsibility. Women have been known to use the TODAY sponge, diaphragms, condoms, IUD's, spermicides and the rhythm method. It is up to the woman to take proper precautions. You will find women friendly within the lifestyle. You can ask around and get other advice.
23. Practice the PC muscle squeeze on a daily basis. The PC muscle is short for pubococcyx muscle, which stretches from hip bone to hip bone in the pelvis, creating a bowl-like muscle on which rests all of the organs above. As we get older the PC sags under the weight and loses elasticity. Older people become incontinent because the urinary tract threads through the PC muscle and they lose their ability to "squeeze". The vagina runs through the PC, too, and the vaginal walls get flabby and sexual feelings are deadened from poor circulation. For men, a weak PC muscle affects the prostate gland, causing low vitality and lessened sexual feelings. When you practice the PC muscle squeeze, it is like going to the gym and working out, only you're working on a hidden muscle. Nobody knows you're doing it and with each squeeze you're pumping blood back into the region. How do you locate the PC? After you urinate you automatically squeeze to shut off the flow of water. That's the PC muscle you are squeezing. Do 100 to 300 squeezes a day and you'll notice a difference in several weeks. Sexual feelings start to come back. Some doctors recommend 600 a day in severe cases of incontinence or frigidity. This is also known as the Keegle exercise after the man who discovered it, but it is an ancient yoga discipline.
23. Don't use drugs. If it alters your mind it alters your body chemistry which in turn lowers your resistance to disease. You'll find that drugs are not common in the lifestyle. Drugs are used to escape and break through restrictions. In a lifestyle that is already free of restrictions, there is no need for it, plus it interferes with physical capabilities. It is also illegal. Don't bring it to someone else's home.
24. Don't drink too much. Like any drug, alcohol deadens the nerves and alters the consciousness. It takes away from the natural pleasures of the body which sexual sharing provides. People shy away from people who drink too much. Light drinking is acceptable in some circles, but not acceptable in others.
25. Wash your washable sex toys and vibrator heads with soap and water after each use.
26. That time of month for women. It's okay to attend a party when you have your period. If you feel comfortable, that is, and don't have bad cramps. But at the party, tell a potential sex partner that you have your period and let him have the option of taking a rain check. About 50% of the men don't seem to mind, there are other ways for romantic fun. The other 50% will wait for another day. If you do go into the bedroom, douche or wash thoroughly before hand, and put a towel on the bed under you. The alternative is to keep your panties on while you're playing around. That's a signal that you don't want penetration, that you are not available tonight.
27. Crabs, a rare phenomenon among clean people, but it can happen. Don't be embarassed. You may never run into it but it's no big deal if you do. If you have a persistent itch in the pubic region, have your spouse check you with a magnifying glass. If there are little white eggs attached to the hair follicle down close to the skin, you have them. Go to the drug store and get some NIX over the counter, apply it like shampoo, leave it for 20 minutes and rinse it off. Then wash all the clothes that you've worn in the past week including your bed sheets. If you've sat naked on a couch, get the spray bottle of NIX and spray the couch. Then, real important: call the people you've been sexually active with so they can check themselves too. Nip it in the bud before it spreads. No blame, no shame.
28. Menopausal women and estrogen. Women 40 and over represent the majority of female swingers. Why aren't they drying up and playing dead like their mothers before them? Because most are on estrogen keeping them young and sexy. If you suspect that you are starting menopause, ask your gynecologist about it. When a woman's body stops producing estrogen, she begins to (1) dry up vaginally causing discomfort during sex, (2) have hot flashes, (3) lose interest in sex, (4) have mood swings caused by chemical imbalances, (5) have brittle bones. Estrogen therapy prevents all of the above and gives her a healthy, normal sex life for years to come, some women for the first time ever, now that the children are gone and she no longer can become pregnant.
29. Be careful with uncommitted couples. Committed couples are the safest because they each act as a safe guard for the other, reducing the possibilities of cheating. The lifestyle fosters honesty and openness even among singles. It is the uncommitted stranger single that you want to question. Who have they been with, and where? Just be careful. Ask questions.
30. Women, wipe from front to back after a bowel movement. Retrain yourself to wipe from front to back rather than back to front, to prevent bacteria from stools from entering the urinary or vaginal tracts causing infections. This is a common source of female infection. Once in the urinary tract, bacteria doesn't have to travel far to enter the bladder which becomes a breeding ground for bacteria, especially if it isn't emptied all the way.
31. Urinate often. Walking around with a half full bladder is like leaving a glass full of water all day on the counter. It breeds bacteria.
32. Men and women, don't dip your finger into the anus and then into a vagina without first washing your hands. Again, the spread of bacteria is an obvious danger.
33. Don't rub the head of a penis too vigorously if the man has a heart condition. Just as in reflexology of the feet, there are nerve endings at different zones of the penis that correlate with organs in the body. The head of the penis is connected to the heart. From "The Tao of Sexology" by Dr. Stephen Chang, an excellent book for swingers. Everybody ought to read it.
34. Don't force a vagina and penis together if they don't fit well. The vagina also has reflexology zones that correspond with organs and a mismatch of penis to vagina can cause irritability or nervousness. A man whose penis size matches her zone for zone will feel better than one who is too large or too small. It will feel right.
If you are actively sharing sex partners, get tested every year for STDs at the County Health Department. By all means, use condoms but, frankly, condoms are not that safe. They can have holes in them and they can come off in a rambunctious encounter. The safest approach to the disease problem is cleanliness, good personal hygiene, good nutrition, exercise, a minimum of pharmaceuticals that weaken your immune system, and get tested once a year for STDs. It is wise to back up your trust in condoms with cleanliness, sensible choices and thoughtful behavior.
Below are some safety practices that have come from lifestyle friends. We urge you to not only read the following list, but add to it for yourself as you go along. Post it somewhere secret and refer to it from time to time. In the end, you are responsible for your own health.
1. Shower before an encounter. Before partying, take a shower or bath with lots of soap. If you took a shower at home and traveled to another location, take another shower before getting into bed with someone. At least wash the genital area. The purpose is to wash off your own accumulated dirt that could get into your own urinary tract, vagina or mouth through body rubbings which could cause YOU a problem as well as your date.
2. Uncircumcised men, clean under the foreskin. A woman hates to find little scummy things
when performing oral sex, your reputation will not be too good if they find something. Always remember that women talk among themselves. And so do men. Good personal grooming goes a long way in this lifestyle.
3. Men, shave within an hour of the party. Bring disposible razors with you and shaving cream. Some men need to shave twice in a night if they have heavy beards. Passionate action with a two-day stubble, whether on the face or between the thighs, can cut the skin and create sores and big red blotchy rashes the next day. Plus open wounds are how bacteria and virus get into the body.
4. Use mouthwash before an encounter. Mouth wash is excellent to wash away smokers breath, or the taste of former sex partner, food or drink. Better yet, brush your teeth. Food remnants start to decay right away in the mouth, creating another source of bacteria to transfer to other locations.
5. Wash after each sexual encounter. Often there are several encounters in an evening. If it's not convenient to take a shower after each one, at least clean your mouth and genitals with soap and water. All party hosts have huge stacks of wash cloths and a floor receptacle into which to throw the used ones. For you party hosts: this is an important item. Stack up on wash cloths. Don't use someone else's washcloth.
6. Wash beards, face and hands after each sexual encounter. Beards and mustaches hold a lot of dried juice and bacteria in them after oral sex, as well as food after eating. I've heard complaints of smelly dirty beards. Be sure to keep them clean.
7. Wash under fingernails. Use a fingernail brush and soap and water. Organic debris, flakes of skin, bacteria and juices get trapped under finger nails. You can infect yourself as well as others. These suggestions may sound way too simple to even mention, but people complain about such things. These are merely reminders.
8. Keep your fingernails cut down to normal size. For both men and women. If you are going to play intimately with other people, long fingernails are dangerous! Especially if you plan to put them inside someone. You can cut through the walls of soft membranes very easily with your finger nail.
9. Take off your big glitzy rings. And watches and earrings, too. A lot of people don't think of this, but they cause a lot of damage. They scratch across the skin and draw blood. Be aware of anything you are wearing that is sharp. This is deadly serious. They cause infections. Besides, many women lose their earrings in bedrooms. Better to take them off ahead of time.
10. Don't put cologne on the genital area. Both men and women. Colognes and perfumes can irritate the sensitive mouth and tender thighs. If you want to smell pleasant, put just a little bit to the south of the area. We would sometimes see people next day with red blotches on their faces (people would sleep overnight). It took awhile to realize what was happening.
11. Urinate after sex. Urinating after sex prevents urethral infections. Go immediately after to wash away any foreign bacteria that might have become lodged in the urinary tract. These bacteria can be from your own body, not necessarily from your partner's body. Here's how infections happen. There are different types of bacteria in each body opening which act as housekeepers for that particular area. These bacteria are the good guys for that area. They attack any foreign particles that invade their territory. But if they themselves become dislocated, as often happens in sex, they don't know the difference. Anal bacteria relocated to a vagina will think they are attacking invaders and begin to multiply. They're just getting ready to go into battle mode. You can't blame them. They will turn into raging monsters unless you wash them away. Urinate even if it is just a few drops. It will help prevent minor urinary tract infections.
12. Women, douche with just plain water after sex. After a foreign sexual encounter, douche with just plain water before going to sleep. This prevents vaginal yeast infections. You don't have to douche inbetween encounters, it could dry you out, but definitely do after the last encounter. Vaginal infections start the same way urinary tract infections start - from bacteria that has relocated from another part of the body. This is a common problem with women and they want to blame it on a serious disease from someone they were with. But it's almost certain to have come from a bacteria that relocated from another part of their own body. Again, cleanliness and hygiene. Medical professionals will resist this and advise against douching, but they haven't been in the lifestyle! Diana's personal history has proven that douching works. Just plain water. Before douching she had many yeast infections, one after the other. Then a Navy doctor told her to douche - with just plain water - after sex. She did and the yeast infections stopped miraculously. Good guy bacteria in the anal canal, the urinary tract and vagina turn into bad guy bacteria when they are transferred to another place. It doesn't belong there and it needs washing away. Don't use chemical douches as these will upset the body's chemistry. Just plain water will do the trick. And better to buy a gravity-fed bouche bag or combination enema/douche bag . Fill it with warm tap water, hang it on a hook or hold it, squat in the bathrub or toilet, insert the bulbous end and let it flow. Alternately squeeze and release to swish the water around inside. Diana found that there were women who had never douched before and didn't know how.
13. Don't use the vibrator over clothing. We are referring to the Hitachi Magic Wand which is famous to women in the lifestyle, but there are others too. When you rub a vibrator over clothing, it can rub the dye from the cloth into the skin causing skin irritation or infection. There was a case of this happening.
14. Don't do anal sex with strangers. Many diseases are passed through anal sex, AIDS and tuberculosis included. Of course condoms are being used with strangers but condoms are not necessarily safe. You cannot guarantee that they will stay on. The alimentary canal (the bowels) are built to absorb nutrients from the food that passes through it. With the colon walls so very absorbant and the blood vessels so very close to the surface, ready to receive and distribute the nutrients throughout the body, the anal canal will receive disease faster than other areas in the body. It was not built to stretch like the vagina does. When an erect penis enters the colon, it stretches and creates tiny lesions in the walls. Even with lubrication, ejaculate and whatever the ejaculate may be carrying, can enter the blood stream directly through the absorbant walls or tiny lesions in the walls. If you enjoy anal sex, we recommend doing it only with men you know. Anal sex is the most dangerous form of sex for that reason.
15. Be careful of open running sores. Do not have sex when open running sores are present. If you are exploring the body of a stranger and see something like this, and your instincts tell you "Uh oh!" listen to them. It is better to tell the person directly and up front, the reason why you want to wait for a next time. The person with the running sore may not even realize (or is in denial) so he or she needs to be told to heal first before having sex. We all like it when someone tells us the truth instead of beating around the bush. Don't be afraid to abort an encounter for any reason that suddenly makes you nervous. Ask about it. What is it? Discuss the matter openly.
16. If you suspect venereal disease, go to the County Public Health Department, not a private doctor. The County Health Department is trained to recognize STD's better than most doctors. Sometimes private doctors misdiagnose venereal disease, which is dangerous because it prolongs proper treatment and can poison the system with improper medication.
17. Get an AIDS test. This is important in and of itself, but it will also help you to check out your local County Health Department and see how it operates. Be prepared for some very specific questions like, How many sex partners have you had in a year? Bisexual?
18. If you find out that you have a venereal disease Call your recent sex partners right away. You might have caught it from someone at the party, or you might have passed it on to someone. Either way, the responsible thing to do is share the information. Nip it in the bud. There is no blame cast within this circle of friends and we don't spend time wondering who gave it to whom. There is an understanding in this lifestyle that we share the problems as well as the joys.
19. Trust your instincts. Don't party with someone if you sense something you don't like. You may not know what it is, but your instincts may be telling you something that is too subtle for your normal senses to detect. Instincts should always be followed. They will keep you healthy and away from danger. Listen to your body.
20. Tell the person if you want to use condoms before going to the bedroom. Don't wait until after you get there. Some men don't want to use a condom. It is awkward for a man to attempt to put on a condom if he can't maintain an erection, and only he knows how easy or hard it is for him to get erections. Let him have the right of refusal before the bedroom stage. And sometimes a woman has allergic reactions to condoms and will not want to use them.
21. Men who have penile implants, don't let a woman perform oral forever! There have been instances when a woman did not know that a man had a penile implant and he let her go on and on until she wore herself out and when she found out that he had an implant, she became very angry with him. Tell the woman up front about your implant.
22. Pregnancy prevention is the woman's responsibility. Women have been known to use the TODAY sponge, diaphragms, condoms, IUD's, spermicides and the rhythm method. It is up to the woman to take proper precautions. You will find women friendly within the lifestyle. You can ask around and get other advice.
23. Practice the PC muscle squeeze on a daily basis. The PC muscle is short for pubococcyx muscle, which stretches from hip bone to hip bone in the pelvis, creating a bowl-like muscle on which rests all of the organs above. As we get older the PC sags under the weight and loses elasticity. Older people become incontinent because the urinary tract threads through the PC muscle and they lose their ability to "squeeze". The vagina runs through the PC, too, and the vaginal walls get flabby and sexual feelings are deadened from poor circulation. For men, a weak PC muscle affects the prostate gland, causing low vitality and lessened sexual feelings. When you practice the PC muscle squeeze, it is like going to the gym and working out, only you're working on a hidden muscle. Nobody knows you're doing it and with each squeeze you're pumping blood back into the region. How do you locate the PC? After you urinate you automatically squeeze to shut off the flow of water. That's the PC muscle you are squeezing. Do 100 to 300 squeezes a day and you'll notice a difference in several weeks. Sexual feelings start to come back. Some doctors recommend 600 a day in severe cases of incontinence or frigidity. This is also known as the Keegle exercise after the man who discovered it, but it is an ancient yoga discipline.
23. Don't use drugs. If it alters your mind it alters your body chemistry which in turn lowers your resistance to disease. You'll find that drugs are not common in the lifestyle. Drugs are used to escape and break through restrictions. In a lifestyle that is already free of restrictions, there is no need for it, plus it interferes with physical capabilities. It is also illegal. Don't bring it to someone else's home.
24. Don't drink too much. Like any drug, alcohol deadens the nerves and alters the consciousness. It takes away from the natural pleasures of the body which sexual sharing provides. People shy away from people who drink too much. Light drinking is acceptable in some circles, but not acceptable in others.
25. Wash your washable sex toys and vibrator heads with soap and water after each use.
26. That time of month for women. It's okay to attend a party when you have your period. If you feel comfortable, that is, and don't have bad cramps. But at the party, tell a potential sex partner that you have your period and let him have the option of taking a rain check. About 50% of the men don't seem to mind, there are other ways for romantic fun. The other 50% will wait for another day. If you do go into the bedroom, douche or wash thoroughly before hand, and put a towel on the bed under you. The alternative is to keep your panties on while you're playing around. That's a signal that you don't want penetration, that you are not available tonight.
27. Crabs, a rare phenomenon among clean people, but it can happen. Don't be embarassed. You may never run into it but it's no big deal if you do. If you have a persistent itch in the pubic region, have your spouse check you with a magnifying glass. If there are little white eggs attached to the hair follicle down close to the skin, you have them. Go to the drug store and get some NIX over the counter, apply it like shampoo, leave it for 20 minutes and rinse it off. Then wash all the clothes that you've worn in the past week including your bed sheets. If you've sat naked on a couch, get the spray bottle of NIX and spray the couch. Then, real important: call the people you've been sexually active with so they can check themselves too. Nip it in the bud before it spreads. No blame, no shame.
28. Menopausal women and estrogen. Women 40 and over represent the majority of female swingers. Why aren't they drying up and playing dead like their mothers before them? Because most are on estrogen keeping them young and sexy. If you suspect that you are starting menopause, ask your gynecologist about it. When a woman's body stops producing estrogen, she begins to (1) dry up vaginally causing discomfort during sex, (2) have hot flashes, (3) lose interest in sex, (4) have mood swings caused by chemical imbalances, (5) have brittle bones. Estrogen therapy prevents all of the above and gives her a healthy, normal sex life for years to come, some women for the first time ever, now that the children are gone and she no longer can become pregnant.
29. Be careful with uncommitted couples. Committed couples are the safest because they each act as a safe guard for the other, reducing the possibilities of cheating. The lifestyle fosters honesty and openness even among singles. It is the uncommitted stranger single that you want to question. Who have they been with, and where? Just be careful. Ask questions.
30. Women, wipe from front to back after a bowel movement. Retrain yourself to wipe from front to back rather than back to front, to prevent bacteria from stools from entering the urinary or vaginal tracts causing infections. This is a common source of female infection. Once in the urinary tract, bacteria doesn't have to travel far to enter the bladder which becomes a breeding ground for bacteria, especially if it isn't emptied all the way.
31. Urinate often. Walking around with a half full bladder is like leaving a glass full of water all day on the counter. It breeds bacteria.
32. Men and women, don't dip your finger into the anus and then into a vagina without first washing your hands. Again, the spread of bacteria is an obvious danger.
33. Don't rub the head of a penis too vigorously if the man has a heart condition. Just as in reflexology of the feet, there are nerve endings at different zones of the penis that correlate with organs in the body. The head of the penis is connected to the heart. From "The Tao of Sexology" by Dr. Stephen Chang, an excellent book for swingers. Everybody ought to read it.
34. Don't force a vagina and penis together if they don't fit well. The vagina also has reflexology zones that correspond with organs and a mismatch of penis to vagina can cause irritability or nervousness. A man whose penis size matches her zone for zone will feel better than one who is too large or too small. It will feel right.