Anakosha
Integrating sex and spirituality
Resource material on kundalini
Diagram to the left
The red roots in the diagram represents Mother Earth energy, the kundalini, rising up into the body through the feet to the base of the spine. Earth energy is negative, sun energy positive. They attract each other. As kundalini rises, it provides life to the body. It slowly drips up the spine when the gates are closed. It rushes up when the gates are open. The gates are known as chakras. They hold back the flow of kundalini until a person can handle it. Kundalini is pure and therefore magnifies the dark, unresolved issues in our lives. The chakras inhibit the flow of kundalini. When we conquer an issue and move past it, the chakra opens like a flower, Kundalini rushes in and we feel an expansion. An "Oh, God!" moment or an "Ah HA!" moment. On death, kundalini stops flowing.
Kundalini is the power and feeling behind sex which is magnified when the chakras above are closed. The intention is got kunfslini to rise up the spine to the crown of the head to merge with God consciousness, but it is a long struggle to get there. It purifies and cleanses as it goes, providing an exhilarating feeling of liberation when we are ready, but an agonizing painful experience if not. For that reason, there is an intelligent design to the process. The chakras hold kundalini back until a person is ready. The chakras (gates) are closed in an unawakened person, partially open in an awakening person who is doing inner work and spiritual practices, and fully open in an enlightened person. As an individual meditates the chakras flutter open.
Knowledge of kundalini has been a hidden science for millennia. As we learn more about it our chakras begin to open and kundalini flows better. Kundalini is pure, unadulterated love. The gates remain mercifully closed until then. The chakras are shown here in colors. As kundalini rises through first the lower body, cleansing and purifying the organs and energies there, it eventually reaches the heart to awaken love. It is then the person steps onto the spiritual path. The flow of kundalini brings increasingly more noble qualities until it reaches the crown chakra and merges the individual with the sea of God consciousness, producing sweet nirvana. The sense of nirvana then ebbs and flows, allowing the individual to remain on Earth to enjoy the human experience from a fully awakened human state in control of his energies and his environment.
An Occult Experience by G.S. Arundale, Theosophical Society 1938
"[This book] is not published for the sake of a knowledge of Kundalini, but for the sake of introducing its readers to the fact that Kundalini is a mystery, but an intriquing fascinating mystery ..... All true knowledge is a mystery for ever and ever..... All statements regarding Kundalini should always be treated with the greatest reserve, partly because the personal equation of the experimenting individual looms very large - Kundalini acting very different in different cases - and partly because nothing ought to appear in print which might give even the slightest assistance in the development of a power which destroys ruthlessly when it is sought to be awakened before its due time."
"Kundalini, the Evolutionary Energy in Man" by Gopi Krishna, 1967
"Suddenly, with a roar like that of a waterfall, I felt a stream of liquid light entering my brain through the spinal cord.....The illumination grew brighter and brighter, the roaring louder, I experienced a rocking sensation and then felt myself slipping out of my body, entirely enveloped in a halo of light. It is impossible to describe the experience accurately. I felt the point of consciousness that was myself growing wider, surrounded by waves of light. It grew wider and wider, spreading outward while the body, normally the immediate object of its perception, appeared to have receded into the distance until I became entirely unconscious of it. I was now all consciousness, without any outline, without any idea of a corporeal appendage, without any feeling or sensation coming from the senses, immersed in a sea of light simultaneously conscious and aware of every point, spread out, as it were, in all directions without any barrier or material obstruction. I was no longer myself, or to be more accurate, no longer as I knew myself to be, a small point of awareness confined in a body, but instead was a vast circle of consciousness in which the body was but a point, bathed in light and in a state of exaltation and happiness impossible to describe."
"Kundalini Tales" by Richard Sauder, Phd, 1998
"The case of Meher Baba, the renowned Indian saint who died several decades ago, provides an interesting glimpse into a powerful case of sustained Kundalini awakening....One day in boyhood Meher Baba was drawn to visit an old Muslim woman named Babajan who lived for many years under an old tree. He said later that he 'was drawn to her as steel to a magnet.' When he approached her she kissed him on the forehead. Shortly thereafter 'he began to experience extraordinary thrills, as though he were receiving electric shocks, joy mingled with pain, and he lost his body consciousness.' From that day on, for the rest of his life, Meher Baba was a man set apart. He never again had the same state of consciousness as an ordinary man.
"What is interesting to me is his tell-tale sensation of a magnet-like attraction to Babajan and of feeling electric shocks when she awakened him; without question, this is the calling card of the activated kundalini. In Babajan's years of isolation under the old tree, she had obviously accumulated a large charge of kundalini energy, part of which she used to draw to her and awaken Meher Baba.... To the average person, a kundalini yogin such as Babajan is a complete cipher; but to those who understand, a genuine, awakened kundalini yogi is a precious gem. One can only guess at the state of mind of a being such as the crone Babajan, who lived to about the age of 140 years. She sat there in isolation under the same tree, for decade after decade, waiting for her beloved spiritual son, Meher Baba, to appear, so that she could kiss him on the forehead and awaken his kundalni."
More from "Kundalini Tales"
[ed: The author experiences episodes of kundalini and tells this story of how he was catapulted out of a dream and into another man's body in a dramatically heightened state of consciousness. The man whose body he inhabited was making a speech to hundreds of thousands of people, outdoors, with banks of battered microphones, speakers and amplifiers. The speaker was] "caught up in an ecstatic, passionate exposition of the unsearchable glories of God. He was shouting at the top of his lungs, and his voice went washing out over the vast assembly, rippling out over row after row of upturned faces. I understand intuitively that his words were carrying a very special power because at that very moment he was under the direct influence of the kundalini. As he spoke it was continuously ripping and roaring up his spine. His entire body was crackling and surging with the full force of what felt to me like tens of thousands of volts of electricity. The roar was deafening (though it was evidently an interior sound; those looking on seemed not to hear it). I sensed vividly that he was acutely aware of the Kundalini's presence. He heard the roar; he felt very intensely the tens of thousands of volts of electricity; and he was simultaneously very aware of the effect it had on his voice, and through his voice, the effect it had on the consciousness of the myriad thousands who stood transfixed listening to him."
More from "Kundalini Tales"
"I awoke suddenly one morning and moved quickly into a full-blown kundalini experience. The kundalni moved swiftly up my spine and energinezed my body. No sooner was this done than my body spontaneously, automatically executed a perfect hatha yoga posture (Salabhasana) without my willing it or even having thought about it. I observed what happened as though my body were on auto-pilot. The whole thing was absolutely effortless. I felt no sense of exertion whatever. My muscles and joints were completely relaxed and supple - there was not the slightest physical or mental blockage anywhere. The experience simply happened."
From the website of Cathy Woods, www.cit-sakti.com
"It is with some trepidation that I begin this very personal story of the Goddess Kundalini awakening in me. To speak so publicly about such an intensely private process is difficult, but it also fills me with a sense of awe and gratitude that I am able, through the wondrous technology of the internet, to speak to you, the reader, who may also be going through a bewildering series of symptoms and emotional upheavals due to the release of an intense pranic awakening. I felt very alone when this process began. In searching for help, I realized that there are few people who are knowledgeable about the deeper aspects of the changes that occur once Kundalini has been released from her sleeping position at the base of the spine, and there are few books written about the personal aspects of such a cataclysmic event in one's life. If my story will help any of you feel a little less alone, then the hesitation I feel over being so public will offset my fears.
"Now that I have an idea of what is happening to me - that this is some kind of an energy release, perhaps a Kundalini Awakening - I begin reading all I can on the subject. I know I also want to find someone to talk to but I remember the warning from my dream, "Be careful whom you tell."
October 26 - I tell Peter in the night that I can't go on any longer. Every night it is the same: Peter holding me while my body burns and burns. Finally I let go, and I feel as if I will self-combust. I think of the stories of yogis who have such tremendous heat that they sit in the snow to cool themselves down, of Catherine of Sienna who coughed up boiling blood, and of all those suffering terribly in the world. I give in to the fire and allow myself to be burned up if I am meant to be a human sacrifice. I surrender.
"November 12 - I have been burning up for weeks. The pain in my liver, spleen, and stomach is so intense. I have been spitting up phlegm for weeks. Why don't I read about these cleansings anywhere else? I feel very alone in this process. I can't understand why my process is so difficult, so torturous. Is it that others don't want to talk about it, or is there something very wrong with me? Then again, maybe we all feel very alone while going through these purifications. I am very tired and have spent weeks with the blinds closed. I don't want to go out and, if I do, I need the company of Peter."
"Krishnamurti: The Years of Awakening" by Mary Lutyens
"My process is slowly beginning and it is rather painful. The back of my head and the base of my spine are active once again and when I think or write, it is almost unbearable. The moment I lie down, it's very painful and when I wake up in the morning, I feel as though it had been going on all night. It is altogether very curious and I don't understand it in the least. (And his brother writes)...Every evening about 6:30 to 8, Krishna has gone into a state of semi-consciousness when the ego seems to leave and the physical elemental is allowed enough consciousness to suffer, to talk and even transmit intelligently any piece of information that may be necessary. He complains of agonizing pain while he is in this state, centering mostly in the spine; so we have surmised that his kundalini is being awakened."
From Diana of Anakosha
"... and suddenly something clicked. My body started to sway effortlessly from side to side, without muscle control. Soon I was swaying like a leaf on a tree in the soft summer breezes with sunlight all around. It was pleasant and I did not resist. However I was surprised and mentally I took an alert side ward step to watch. Rather rapidly the swaying increased and soon I was rocking left to right and right to left, faster and faster. Now I was indeed surprised for I was in no way controlling the movement. Back in my head I pondered the phenomenon while my body ran on its own power. I knew I could stop it if I wanted to, for it was such a gentle thing, but I didn’t want to. It was different, exciting, and there was a new feeling, a wonderful softness, enveloping me in a cloud."
Rick NurrieStearns, personaltransformation.com/kundalini.html
"I continued to experience a powerful energy at the base of my spine in the middle of the night after I had been asleep for a couple of hours. I would awaken suddenly and feel energy expanding and rising from my hips into my lower lumbar area. At the time I was both curious and afraid of the energy. I tried letting go into it but when I did the energy would radically increase and my body would shake uncontrollably while I felt an odd stiffness in my muscles.... I mentioned my experience to a friend and she told me that it could be a spirit trying to possess me. I became fearful and for months tried purification and protection schemes in an effort to push away the experience. Nothing quelled the experience and after some contemplation I felt it was internal rather than external to me. After a few months I got used to the experience of waking in the overwhelming energy and didn't think much about it........In the mid 1990's the energy shifted somewhat and when I woke in the middle of the night I started to experience it as sexual energy. Experiencing the energy sexually was much more pleasant than the body shaking and muscle tension of before. I still experienced discomfort as it was uncontrollable and I was fearful about experiencing something so intense and primal.....A couple of years later the sexual energy became more intense and at times started to manifest during the day. When the energy came forth I would feel sexually charged to the point of being consumed in raging lust. The energy was intensely primal, being completely beyond all thought and having no ethic or moral discrimination to it.... One day, while driving to work and deeply pondering my dilemma, I suddenly became immersed in a powerful erotic sensualness. It was as if my body and being were being merged with a dynamic, vast, and electric-like feminine energy. My vision intensified with recognition of immense spaciousness along with an almost microscopic awareness that everything was alive with energy. Awareness expanded and sharpened, I felt as if I was on fire. The experience engulfed my whole being, it was far more energetically powerful and blissful than anything I had ever experienced. I was barely able to drive the last few miles to work. Once there I could do nothing but lay on the floor.
Channeled 8/4/11 by Diana
Q: What is this raging, roaring transcendent force? (This question was stimulated by stories of experiencing awful burning debilitating pain during Kundalini awakening.)
A: You don't want this kind of energy flowing through you all the time. It causes heat and pain where there is resistance. Ground! Have sex. Put your hands in the soil, do garden work. Go into naturally moving water - a river, the ocean. Lay down in the grass. Bury yourself in sand or mud. Kundalini is earth energy and when it hits the air it flails like an untended garden hose with too much water pressure. It can only be stabilized through reconnecting with the Earth, for that's where it comes from. Its home is deep in the Earth. Kundalini awakening is the human germination, like the seed. The human outer shell is cracking open under the pressure of a power from within. Notice that the seed puts down roots as it grows upward into the light. Humans need to do the same thing.
It feels at first like a foreign entity moving in and taking you over. You've never felt this before because it's an evolutionary shift, one you've never taken before. It's an unknown. You are giving birth to this power or energy within, it is the next step in your human evolution. You're not going to die from this. The whole point is to grow to the next stage of human, from monkey man to God-man. Like the acorn grows into an oak tree. The little acorn goes through the very same process that humans do under the onslaught of kundalini.
Even in ordinary life kundalini works in you. You keep trying to go beyond where you went yesterday. Self improvement is growing yourself on a gentle, slow scale. But you are continually evolving, moving past your own limits of yesterday and boundaries of yesterday's construction. Something in you wants to grow. This is the kundalini, the spark of God buried in the Earth that is put there to experience physicality and grow physicality. Its nature is to grow beyond. You have a seed inside of you, a seed of divinity, of a God creator, an immortal seed. This is mercifully kept at a low flow until it is time, so it merely drips up the spine instead of ripping and roaring up the spine in a fully awakened kundalini. It is kept slow until you have grown wise enough to handle it. But when the shell cracks open that held it back and the power of kundalini rushes forth and up the spine, ready or not, here it comes. It washes away anything in its way that is not pure and holy. And of course there is much in the human body that is not pure. The divine energy acts like a laser ray. It starts burning through the dross and the toxins. Anything that is not divine or healthy or pure.
Q: Can you slow it down?
A: When it's time, it's time. The evolution happened. The slowing down would be to do grounding things. Physically, mentally, emotionally do things that force your attention down to ground and out to the physical world, like putting hands on people who need healing. Purify your body. Channel the energy out to the world. It needs it. It is a divine power and it will help. But just do it, don't analyze it. Take the first opportunity to channel it to someone. Hug a tree, or a child, or a pet, a cat or dog. Don't talk, just do it. You're releasing it by giving. This energy can be channeled, drawn off of the main power source, like electricity is constantly being grounded. This is where the will comes in. Will power is choice. Choose. Decide. Make a decision and go with your decision. Don't get caught up in analysis or future planning. Just do it. Right now! No thinking. Then you will be drawing the energy away from your own body which is burning toxins too fast. It's too much too soon for your body, so drain some of that energy away to constructive purposes. This is done by channeling it outward or down into the ground by your conscious choice. You have to take control of this energy or it will control you. You have to work with this energy. You have to partner with it.
There is a God birthing inside of you, an immortal. And you don't know how it's going to turn out. You can only channel it and learn with it. From it. You don't know. Creator doesn't even know. Creator keeps on creating and exploring. Creator loves to create! It is an intelligence creating bigger, better, more, refining, improving, exploring, and you are that Creator who is exploring and creating. You don't know what comes next. You can only work with what you know and keep on directing it. Work with it. You are a part of that grand design to keep on creating. You are God imprisoned within a form of physical density which is restricting you because it is full of toxins and limitations which now need to be purged so the God within can move more freely through it. You have kept improving yourself to this point, even within the prison of the body, you have been finding new ways to create, to improve, to make yourself better. That's the spark of the divine creator in you continuing to express, explore. It's full of childlike excitement. What's around the next corner? And the next? What's inside the box? What's over those mountains? What happens when I kiss a girl? There is this passion to discover and find out. Energy is meant to move. When we hold ourselves back we take a step towards dying, because this creator inside us is the only life of this body-mind-soul. It's our life force. A lot of people are holding the creator in them back. They have shackled their own life force with chains and they are suffocating. Move! Now! Break the chains!
Channeled 3/2/85 by Diana
Q: Please instruct me in the workings of kundalini.
Make still your mind. Make it calm and quiet. Your mind is often rippled by the wind of other forces from outside yourself. Do not look for peace in your outer environment. Do not expect this. That your mind is disturbed by these forces is not the fault of your outer environment, it is your own inability to retain calm. Do not blame the ones with whom you live. Perfect peace in the outer environment will not be achieved until a better degree of mental control has been reached by the inhabitants of that environment.
The first instruction is that of keeping the mind still in the face of all circumstance. Kundalini is a fire and it burns like a fire. Understand the essence of fire! It burns through walls, barriers and blocks of your own creation that, under the former condition, protected you against such invasion. An active kundalini causes you to be vulnerable, open and exposed to forces you have not known before. Control of your mind, then, is the first and most essential practice in order to acquire the equilibrium needed to host the active kundalini.
Understand that your mind is not restricted to your brain as you have supposed. Your mind covers you like a sheathe over and through your entire body, from head to toe. It is the focal point of your consciousness, it is the point where you reside and reflect all that you know and understand. Work then to achieve confidence in your mind, all of your mind. Allow your awareness to cover you. You are equally conscious of your toe and back and arms and hands, as you are of your face and brain. (At this point I felt kundalini activating and allowed my body to start swaying back and forth, and my arms to raise.)
“Be still! Stop the movement and listen. The kundalini is an energy. It is only one half of the whole. The energy is non-discriminating. It knows no right or wrong. It is the energy implanted into matter to give that matter life! Its arousal increases your capabilities. Would you have Life charge ahead without you? YOU are the discriminator. Your consciousness is its balancer. You influence its direction and its purpose. Without your conscious fusion it will take you over, as your husband has told you, and you become a slave to its actions. Do not control it. Do not suppress it. Marry it! It is like a marriage. Fuse with it and become a whole, as you would in a family situation. You are its balancer. Listen to it. Become aware of its properties. You must learn to do this in order to enlarge your capacities in a balanced way.
When others are talking to you, afford them the respect of listening. If kundalini activates in the midst of conversation and you allow your body to activate likewise, you indicate lack of control. You break the connection with your friend. This is not practical, nor is it wise. You live in a physical world. Give respect to others who are also struggling for control. Integrate the action of kundalini into the world.
The red roots in the diagram represents Mother Earth energy, the kundalini, rising up into the body through the feet to the base of the spine. Earth energy is negative, sun energy positive. They attract each other. As kundalini rises, it provides life to the body. It slowly drips up the spine when the gates are closed. It rushes up when the gates are open. The gates are known as chakras. They hold back the flow of kundalini until a person can handle it. Kundalini is pure and therefore magnifies the dark, unresolved issues in our lives. The chakras inhibit the flow of kundalini. When we conquer an issue and move past it, the chakra opens like a flower, Kundalini rushes in and we feel an expansion. An "Oh, God!" moment or an "Ah HA!" moment. On death, kundalini stops flowing.
Kundalini is the power and feeling behind sex which is magnified when the chakras above are closed. The intention is got kunfslini to rise up the spine to the crown of the head to merge with God consciousness, but it is a long struggle to get there. It purifies and cleanses as it goes, providing an exhilarating feeling of liberation when we are ready, but an agonizing painful experience if not. For that reason, there is an intelligent design to the process. The chakras hold kundalini back until a person is ready. The chakras (gates) are closed in an unawakened person, partially open in an awakening person who is doing inner work and spiritual practices, and fully open in an enlightened person. As an individual meditates the chakras flutter open.
Knowledge of kundalini has been a hidden science for millennia. As we learn more about it our chakras begin to open and kundalini flows better. Kundalini is pure, unadulterated love. The gates remain mercifully closed until then. The chakras are shown here in colors. As kundalini rises through first the lower body, cleansing and purifying the organs and energies there, it eventually reaches the heart to awaken love. It is then the person steps onto the spiritual path. The flow of kundalini brings increasingly more noble qualities until it reaches the crown chakra and merges the individual with the sea of God consciousness, producing sweet nirvana. The sense of nirvana then ebbs and flows, allowing the individual to remain on Earth to enjoy the human experience from a fully awakened human state in control of his energies and his environment.
An Occult Experience by G.S. Arundale, Theosophical Society 1938
"[This book] is not published for the sake of a knowledge of Kundalini, but for the sake of introducing its readers to the fact that Kundalini is a mystery, but an intriquing fascinating mystery ..... All true knowledge is a mystery for ever and ever..... All statements regarding Kundalini should always be treated with the greatest reserve, partly because the personal equation of the experimenting individual looms very large - Kundalini acting very different in different cases - and partly because nothing ought to appear in print which might give even the slightest assistance in the development of a power which destroys ruthlessly when it is sought to be awakened before its due time."
"Kundalini, the Evolutionary Energy in Man" by Gopi Krishna, 1967
"Suddenly, with a roar like that of a waterfall, I felt a stream of liquid light entering my brain through the spinal cord.....The illumination grew brighter and brighter, the roaring louder, I experienced a rocking sensation and then felt myself slipping out of my body, entirely enveloped in a halo of light. It is impossible to describe the experience accurately. I felt the point of consciousness that was myself growing wider, surrounded by waves of light. It grew wider and wider, spreading outward while the body, normally the immediate object of its perception, appeared to have receded into the distance until I became entirely unconscious of it. I was now all consciousness, without any outline, without any idea of a corporeal appendage, without any feeling or sensation coming from the senses, immersed in a sea of light simultaneously conscious and aware of every point, spread out, as it were, in all directions without any barrier or material obstruction. I was no longer myself, or to be more accurate, no longer as I knew myself to be, a small point of awareness confined in a body, but instead was a vast circle of consciousness in which the body was but a point, bathed in light and in a state of exaltation and happiness impossible to describe."
"Kundalini Tales" by Richard Sauder, Phd, 1998
"The case of Meher Baba, the renowned Indian saint who died several decades ago, provides an interesting glimpse into a powerful case of sustained Kundalini awakening....One day in boyhood Meher Baba was drawn to visit an old Muslim woman named Babajan who lived for many years under an old tree. He said later that he 'was drawn to her as steel to a magnet.' When he approached her she kissed him on the forehead. Shortly thereafter 'he began to experience extraordinary thrills, as though he were receiving electric shocks, joy mingled with pain, and he lost his body consciousness.' From that day on, for the rest of his life, Meher Baba was a man set apart. He never again had the same state of consciousness as an ordinary man.
"What is interesting to me is his tell-tale sensation of a magnet-like attraction to Babajan and of feeling electric shocks when she awakened him; without question, this is the calling card of the activated kundalini. In Babajan's years of isolation under the old tree, she had obviously accumulated a large charge of kundalini energy, part of which she used to draw to her and awaken Meher Baba.... To the average person, a kundalini yogin such as Babajan is a complete cipher; but to those who understand, a genuine, awakened kundalini yogi is a precious gem. One can only guess at the state of mind of a being such as the crone Babajan, who lived to about the age of 140 years. She sat there in isolation under the same tree, for decade after decade, waiting for her beloved spiritual son, Meher Baba, to appear, so that she could kiss him on the forehead and awaken his kundalni."
More from "Kundalini Tales"
[ed: The author experiences episodes of kundalini and tells this story of how he was catapulted out of a dream and into another man's body in a dramatically heightened state of consciousness. The man whose body he inhabited was making a speech to hundreds of thousands of people, outdoors, with banks of battered microphones, speakers and amplifiers. The speaker was] "caught up in an ecstatic, passionate exposition of the unsearchable glories of God. He was shouting at the top of his lungs, and his voice went washing out over the vast assembly, rippling out over row after row of upturned faces. I understand intuitively that his words were carrying a very special power because at that very moment he was under the direct influence of the kundalini. As he spoke it was continuously ripping and roaring up his spine. His entire body was crackling and surging with the full force of what felt to me like tens of thousands of volts of electricity. The roar was deafening (though it was evidently an interior sound; those looking on seemed not to hear it). I sensed vividly that he was acutely aware of the Kundalini's presence. He heard the roar; he felt very intensely the tens of thousands of volts of electricity; and he was simultaneously very aware of the effect it had on his voice, and through his voice, the effect it had on the consciousness of the myriad thousands who stood transfixed listening to him."
More from "Kundalini Tales"
"I awoke suddenly one morning and moved quickly into a full-blown kundalini experience. The kundalni moved swiftly up my spine and energinezed my body. No sooner was this done than my body spontaneously, automatically executed a perfect hatha yoga posture (Salabhasana) without my willing it or even having thought about it. I observed what happened as though my body were on auto-pilot. The whole thing was absolutely effortless. I felt no sense of exertion whatever. My muscles and joints were completely relaxed and supple - there was not the slightest physical or mental blockage anywhere. The experience simply happened."
From the website of Cathy Woods, www.cit-sakti.com
"It is with some trepidation that I begin this very personal story of the Goddess Kundalini awakening in me. To speak so publicly about such an intensely private process is difficult, but it also fills me with a sense of awe and gratitude that I am able, through the wondrous technology of the internet, to speak to you, the reader, who may also be going through a bewildering series of symptoms and emotional upheavals due to the release of an intense pranic awakening. I felt very alone when this process began. In searching for help, I realized that there are few people who are knowledgeable about the deeper aspects of the changes that occur once Kundalini has been released from her sleeping position at the base of the spine, and there are few books written about the personal aspects of such a cataclysmic event in one's life. If my story will help any of you feel a little less alone, then the hesitation I feel over being so public will offset my fears.
"Now that I have an idea of what is happening to me - that this is some kind of an energy release, perhaps a Kundalini Awakening - I begin reading all I can on the subject. I know I also want to find someone to talk to but I remember the warning from my dream, "Be careful whom you tell."
October 26 - I tell Peter in the night that I can't go on any longer. Every night it is the same: Peter holding me while my body burns and burns. Finally I let go, and I feel as if I will self-combust. I think of the stories of yogis who have such tremendous heat that they sit in the snow to cool themselves down, of Catherine of Sienna who coughed up boiling blood, and of all those suffering terribly in the world. I give in to the fire and allow myself to be burned up if I am meant to be a human sacrifice. I surrender.
"November 12 - I have been burning up for weeks. The pain in my liver, spleen, and stomach is so intense. I have been spitting up phlegm for weeks. Why don't I read about these cleansings anywhere else? I feel very alone in this process. I can't understand why my process is so difficult, so torturous. Is it that others don't want to talk about it, or is there something very wrong with me? Then again, maybe we all feel very alone while going through these purifications. I am very tired and have spent weeks with the blinds closed. I don't want to go out and, if I do, I need the company of Peter."
"Krishnamurti: The Years of Awakening" by Mary Lutyens
"My process is slowly beginning and it is rather painful. The back of my head and the base of my spine are active once again and when I think or write, it is almost unbearable. The moment I lie down, it's very painful and when I wake up in the morning, I feel as though it had been going on all night. It is altogether very curious and I don't understand it in the least. (And his brother writes)...Every evening about 6:30 to 8, Krishna has gone into a state of semi-consciousness when the ego seems to leave and the physical elemental is allowed enough consciousness to suffer, to talk and even transmit intelligently any piece of information that may be necessary. He complains of agonizing pain while he is in this state, centering mostly in the spine; so we have surmised that his kundalini is being awakened."
From Diana of Anakosha
"... and suddenly something clicked. My body started to sway effortlessly from side to side, without muscle control. Soon I was swaying like a leaf on a tree in the soft summer breezes with sunlight all around. It was pleasant and I did not resist. However I was surprised and mentally I took an alert side ward step to watch. Rather rapidly the swaying increased and soon I was rocking left to right and right to left, faster and faster. Now I was indeed surprised for I was in no way controlling the movement. Back in my head I pondered the phenomenon while my body ran on its own power. I knew I could stop it if I wanted to, for it was such a gentle thing, but I didn’t want to. It was different, exciting, and there was a new feeling, a wonderful softness, enveloping me in a cloud."
Rick NurrieStearns, personaltransformation.com/kundalini.html
"I continued to experience a powerful energy at the base of my spine in the middle of the night after I had been asleep for a couple of hours. I would awaken suddenly and feel energy expanding and rising from my hips into my lower lumbar area. At the time I was both curious and afraid of the energy. I tried letting go into it but when I did the energy would radically increase and my body would shake uncontrollably while I felt an odd stiffness in my muscles.... I mentioned my experience to a friend and she told me that it could be a spirit trying to possess me. I became fearful and for months tried purification and protection schemes in an effort to push away the experience. Nothing quelled the experience and after some contemplation I felt it was internal rather than external to me. After a few months I got used to the experience of waking in the overwhelming energy and didn't think much about it........In the mid 1990's the energy shifted somewhat and when I woke in the middle of the night I started to experience it as sexual energy. Experiencing the energy sexually was much more pleasant than the body shaking and muscle tension of before. I still experienced discomfort as it was uncontrollable and I was fearful about experiencing something so intense and primal.....A couple of years later the sexual energy became more intense and at times started to manifest during the day. When the energy came forth I would feel sexually charged to the point of being consumed in raging lust. The energy was intensely primal, being completely beyond all thought and having no ethic or moral discrimination to it.... One day, while driving to work and deeply pondering my dilemma, I suddenly became immersed in a powerful erotic sensualness. It was as if my body and being were being merged with a dynamic, vast, and electric-like feminine energy. My vision intensified with recognition of immense spaciousness along with an almost microscopic awareness that everything was alive with energy. Awareness expanded and sharpened, I felt as if I was on fire. The experience engulfed my whole being, it was far more energetically powerful and blissful than anything I had ever experienced. I was barely able to drive the last few miles to work. Once there I could do nothing but lay on the floor.
Channeled 8/4/11 by Diana
Q: What is this raging, roaring transcendent force? (This question was stimulated by stories of experiencing awful burning debilitating pain during Kundalini awakening.)
A: You don't want this kind of energy flowing through you all the time. It causes heat and pain where there is resistance. Ground! Have sex. Put your hands in the soil, do garden work. Go into naturally moving water - a river, the ocean. Lay down in the grass. Bury yourself in sand or mud. Kundalini is earth energy and when it hits the air it flails like an untended garden hose with too much water pressure. It can only be stabilized through reconnecting with the Earth, for that's where it comes from. Its home is deep in the Earth. Kundalini awakening is the human germination, like the seed. The human outer shell is cracking open under the pressure of a power from within. Notice that the seed puts down roots as it grows upward into the light. Humans need to do the same thing.
It feels at first like a foreign entity moving in and taking you over. You've never felt this before because it's an evolutionary shift, one you've never taken before. It's an unknown. You are giving birth to this power or energy within, it is the next step in your human evolution. You're not going to die from this. The whole point is to grow to the next stage of human, from monkey man to God-man. Like the acorn grows into an oak tree. The little acorn goes through the very same process that humans do under the onslaught of kundalini.
Even in ordinary life kundalini works in you. You keep trying to go beyond where you went yesterday. Self improvement is growing yourself on a gentle, slow scale. But you are continually evolving, moving past your own limits of yesterday and boundaries of yesterday's construction. Something in you wants to grow. This is the kundalini, the spark of God buried in the Earth that is put there to experience physicality and grow physicality. Its nature is to grow beyond. You have a seed inside of you, a seed of divinity, of a God creator, an immortal seed. This is mercifully kept at a low flow until it is time, so it merely drips up the spine instead of ripping and roaring up the spine in a fully awakened kundalini. It is kept slow until you have grown wise enough to handle it. But when the shell cracks open that held it back and the power of kundalini rushes forth and up the spine, ready or not, here it comes. It washes away anything in its way that is not pure and holy. And of course there is much in the human body that is not pure. The divine energy acts like a laser ray. It starts burning through the dross and the toxins. Anything that is not divine or healthy or pure.
Q: Can you slow it down?
A: When it's time, it's time. The evolution happened. The slowing down would be to do grounding things. Physically, mentally, emotionally do things that force your attention down to ground and out to the physical world, like putting hands on people who need healing. Purify your body. Channel the energy out to the world. It needs it. It is a divine power and it will help. But just do it, don't analyze it. Take the first opportunity to channel it to someone. Hug a tree, or a child, or a pet, a cat or dog. Don't talk, just do it. You're releasing it by giving. This energy can be channeled, drawn off of the main power source, like electricity is constantly being grounded. This is where the will comes in. Will power is choice. Choose. Decide. Make a decision and go with your decision. Don't get caught up in analysis or future planning. Just do it. Right now! No thinking. Then you will be drawing the energy away from your own body which is burning toxins too fast. It's too much too soon for your body, so drain some of that energy away to constructive purposes. This is done by channeling it outward or down into the ground by your conscious choice. You have to take control of this energy or it will control you. You have to work with this energy. You have to partner with it.
There is a God birthing inside of you, an immortal. And you don't know how it's going to turn out. You can only channel it and learn with it. From it. You don't know. Creator doesn't even know. Creator keeps on creating and exploring. Creator loves to create! It is an intelligence creating bigger, better, more, refining, improving, exploring, and you are that Creator who is exploring and creating. You don't know what comes next. You can only work with what you know and keep on directing it. Work with it. You are a part of that grand design to keep on creating. You are God imprisoned within a form of physical density which is restricting you because it is full of toxins and limitations which now need to be purged so the God within can move more freely through it. You have kept improving yourself to this point, even within the prison of the body, you have been finding new ways to create, to improve, to make yourself better. That's the spark of the divine creator in you continuing to express, explore. It's full of childlike excitement. What's around the next corner? And the next? What's inside the box? What's over those mountains? What happens when I kiss a girl? There is this passion to discover and find out. Energy is meant to move. When we hold ourselves back we take a step towards dying, because this creator inside us is the only life of this body-mind-soul. It's our life force. A lot of people are holding the creator in them back. They have shackled their own life force with chains and they are suffocating. Move! Now! Break the chains!
Channeled 3/2/85 by Diana
Q: Please instruct me in the workings of kundalini.
Make still your mind. Make it calm and quiet. Your mind is often rippled by the wind of other forces from outside yourself. Do not look for peace in your outer environment. Do not expect this. That your mind is disturbed by these forces is not the fault of your outer environment, it is your own inability to retain calm. Do not blame the ones with whom you live. Perfect peace in the outer environment will not be achieved until a better degree of mental control has been reached by the inhabitants of that environment.
The first instruction is that of keeping the mind still in the face of all circumstance. Kundalini is a fire and it burns like a fire. Understand the essence of fire! It burns through walls, barriers and blocks of your own creation that, under the former condition, protected you against such invasion. An active kundalini causes you to be vulnerable, open and exposed to forces you have not known before. Control of your mind, then, is the first and most essential practice in order to acquire the equilibrium needed to host the active kundalini.
Understand that your mind is not restricted to your brain as you have supposed. Your mind covers you like a sheathe over and through your entire body, from head to toe. It is the focal point of your consciousness, it is the point where you reside and reflect all that you know and understand. Work then to achieve confidence in your mind, all of your mind. Allow your awareness to cover you. You are equally conscious of your toe and back and arms and hands, as you are of your face and brain. (At this point I felt kundalini activating and allowed my body to start swaying back and forth, and my arms to raise.)
“Be still! Stop the movement and listen. The kundalini is an energy. It is only one half of the whole. The energy is non-discriminating. It knows no right or wrong. It is the energy implanted into matter to give that matter life! Its arousal increases your capabilities. Would you have Life charge ahead without you? YOU are the discriminator. Your consciousness is its balancer. You influence its direction and its purpose. Without your conscious fusion it will take you over, as your husband has told you, and you become a slave to its actions. Do not control it. Do not suppress it. Marry it! It is like a marriage. Fuse with it and become a whole, as you would in a family situation. You are its balancer. Listen to it. Become aware of its properties. You must learn to do this in order to enlarge your capacities in a balanced way.
When others are talking to you, afford them the respect of listening. If kundalini activates in the midst of conversation and you allow your body to activate likewise, you indicate lack of control. You break the connection with your friend. This is not practical, nor is it wise. You live in a physical world. Give respect to others who are also struggling for control. Integrate the action of kundalini into the world.