Anakosha

Awakening the divine feminine in everyone
The heart is the new baseline
​

Master Djwhal Khul

A book in progress
​
"Tantra as a Way of Life"
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LATEST ADDITIONS  11/27/23 
6/20/81 - A mystical happening is a buoying upward
​​7/9/81 - Something personal
2/8/83 - Certain principles that govern the universe 
7/16/06 - How to raise the sex energy thru the 7 chakras 
8/19/17 - Thought and feeling are two separate activities
​LIST OF LATEST ADDITIONS
PAGE 2 

​INTRODUCTION

This page is a book in progress being compiled from old files. All messages are chronological by the date it was received by me. Dates after the year 2000 - go to page 2. A little background about this book. When the kundalini dramatically awakened in me in 1976 and took me into the light, my metabolism skyrocketed, and within days words started pouring into my mind like rivers.  I began writing the words down by hand. A stream of consciousness started filling me up so that my mind whirled dizzily with super-charged energy. Words that made sense but were beyond my normal thinking. I didn't know the word "channeling" at the time, and I didn't know who was talking to me. I couldn't control it. I was going crazy in my mind. Fortunately, I was married to a man who did not think I was crazy and asked questions what was happening to me. He insisted on continuing our sexual life together, difficult for me at first but proved to be a lifesaver, keeping me grounded during the early years of this transition. I learned later that such a dramatic kundalini awakening was extremely rare. No one knew about it and I had no one to advise me. If you are interested in knowing more about kundalini, click HERE and listen to the Sadhguru tell about it. I totally relate to his explanation.  Also See ElliottSaxby.com HERE who is giving kundalini workshops. 

But this book is not about MY life, my personal story is HERE. The purpose of THIS book is to put forth the channeled messages and visions I received over the last 47 years. The Tibetan Master Djwahl Khul stepped forward a short while after I was taken into the light. He made himself known in various ways. He has been my chief number one guide ever since. He is an ascended master who presides in a physical body (?) in a monastery on the borders of Tibet. The reason for the (?) is because I don't understand how he is in physical body and also ascended. DK has been close to me all these years. He connects subjectively, telepathically, and never uses his name. His presence is one of compassion, love and wisdom. My awareness blends with him, and when he ends his message, there is a sense of depletion. He's gone. He also steps aside when other higher sources speak to me. He is not just a teacher, he is a guide. He guides many students worldwide in the right way to go. He has published many books in the 1900's through the authorship of his student, Alice Bailey. Today he oversees and works with Kathlyn Kingdon and many individuals world wide. He continues to guide me privately and just recently he has asked me to put my many channeled messages on my website, Anakosha. It is time, he says. I have many, many files of them. They have been prolific and tucked away in different places. So I am selecting randomly and transferring them to this site. They are in chronological order by the date received. There are also some personal vision experiences of my own, not channeled. I have added a table of contents below. This is a book in progress. It is not done yet and probably never will be. It is an ongoing saga. When I re-read them I see with different eyes.  BTW, He is the one who suggested the title, "Tantra as a way of life". * With deepest, purist love I can muster, Diana of Anakosha 
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TABLE OF CONTENTS

 5/6/76 - A personal connection with the fire of kundalini
7/8/77 - Grounding ethereal thought in the world of matter 
6/17/79 - The seed and kundalini germination
​9/19/79 - An interaction with Source
2/18/81 - The twin flames of the caduceus
3/23/81 - The gift of love from a spiritual teacher
3/24/81 - The energy called love
​3/25/81 - Reunite with the spirit of love
4/2/81 - Ascension (a personal vision)
6/17/81 - The mystical connection, a personal instruction
​6/19/81 - Do your exercises, get your daily dose of cosmic energy
6/20/81 - A mystical happening is a buoying upward, wave upon wave
6/21/81 - An intelligent benevolent force lives within you
7/9/81 - Something personal
7/13/81 - Future sex requires love
​7/10/81 - Techniques of the light; mastering the sex forces  
7/22/81 - How to avoid negative psychic experiences 
​9/18/81 - Hail to the light in the pelvis (a poem)
9/21/81 - Spontaneity is the supreme gift 
9/26/81 - The exquisite deliciousness of the human body
12/10/81 - Awakening kundalini has nothing to do with mind or body
12/11/81 - The science of using the word - creating a pathway
12/13/81 - The power of affirmation
1/2/82 - The divine circuitry embedded in the human being
1/3/82 - The power behind the 7 veils
1/4/82 - The seven layers of consciousness
1/5/82  - How does man form out of God?
​1/18/82 - The human force obstructs the Light  
2/3/82 - Your only duty is to raise yourself
2/6/82 - The mother at the base of the spine
3/2/82 - The universal sea of love
3/4/82 - The seven veils of attachment
3/16/82 - There are two kinds of energy
​​4/17/82 - Sunlit magnificence (a vision)  
9/20/82 - The light of love animates your every move
12/25/82 - Kundalini as a flawless crystal diamond, what you refer to as the Christ
2/8/83 - Certain principles that govern the universe
6/30/83 - Preparing for classes 
6/30/83 - An electrifying kundalini activation (a personal experience)
​7/1/83 - Universal principles
​7/3/83 - Your consciousness is God consciousness
1/23/86 - The radiation of kundalini explained 
2/5/86 - Who is the higher self?
​1/16/87 - Kundalini is your life force
​5/29/87 - Be in the space between the atoms in your bodies 
10/10/93 - Sexual enlightenment
​2/16/94 - The urge to worship
7/15/95 - Tapping the erotic lifestyle
9/10/95 - You are lacking the embodiment
10/16/95 - Greetings, I Am Anakosha
​11/18/95 - Coming Home
12/1/95 - Shape your divine personage
12/2/95 - Don't ask permission to be who you are
​3/24/96 - Time control is power control
5/14/97 - Do not ask the male to change
5/20/97 - Mastery is to walk in alignment with Deity
​6/9/97 - Androgynous lovemaking
9/18/98 - Consider the opposite, look deep into the other side
2/20/02 - The Book of Anakosha
9/14/02 - You are your own Source, there is no other 
9/4/05 - Register love on your brain cells
12/3/05 - The answer lies in awakening consciousness
​12/20/05 - An unusual experience
7/16/06 - How to raise the sex energy thru the 7 chakras
​​10/30/11 - Breathe through your feet
7/23/12 - A white tigress teaching
​7/24/12 - Let your dreams go, they are pebbles in the way
​7/25/12 - Don't hold onto your dreams
​7/26/12 - How creator creates through you
​8/12/12 - Kundalini must be released slowly
8/16/12 - Circulating love thru the entire system
8/17/12 - The guru-student relationship
8/18/12 - The light inside the pain (a personal revelation)
5/13/13 - Empowerment does not come from within
5/22/13 - Watch your back by being in the present
​​10/1/13 - Tantra is not a quick fix
10/5/13 - The four lower bodies
10/6/13 - Keep your mind in the open position
10/11/13 - The feminine way to swinging
10/14/13 - DK speaks especially to couples
10/24/13 - You can't teach others
11/2/13 - When someone sucks on your power
4/30/14 - White Tantra
5/2/14 - Sex and kundalini
5/6/14 - On love, sex and orgasm for couples
5/19/14 - Master DK overlights me (a personal experience)
7/28/14 - Kundalini is a sensation that radiates
​9/11/14 - The God in you vs. the dark in you
​10/7/14 - The fully realized man
3/30/16 - The dark web
​4/26/16 - Do we really need sex?
​5/27/16 - The science of love
9/5/16 - The importance of receiving
2/16/17 - The sun is enfolding your heart but the earth pull is strong 
2/22/17 - An introduction to Tantra through the chakras
3/5/17 - Tantra was a teaching
7/30/17 - Preparing for the upheaval to come
​8/19/17 - Thought and feeling are two separate activities
​11/9/17 - Kundalini divides at the second chakra
11/11/17 - Tantric love
12/8/17 - Lecture on the light body
12/9/17 - The seven powers and seven schools
12/10/17 - You are born pure
12/11/17 - Your mind learns by projecting
1/11/18 - Women Talking
3/13/18 - The Kundalini is like a natural orgasm
​4/17/18 - You are a star-based being
6/9/18 - You are a non-physical being 
​1/24/19 - How to have physical closeness without turning it personal 
1/30/19 - DK lecturing women
​3/17/19 - Men and women flow in opposite directions
3/28/19 - You can only correct past mistakes while in form
​4/18/19 - You are cultivating individuality, not personality
5/12/19 - On being too feminine
7/23/19 - Bringing the Mother Light up from the tailbone
9/14/19 - Message from my higher self
​9/22/19 - When someone demands your attention
​10/1/19 -  Loving sex: the one act that can make spiritual progress 
10/4/19 - This mechanistic world was created by killing love 
​6/20/20 - Intimacy training: love is first in YOU!
​7/10/20 - Who are the dark intelligences?
9/21/20 - The struggle between immortality and mortality
1/6/21 - Female orgasms and sex
1/7/21 - Your body is a mechanism, it awaits your direction
1/21/21 - Kundalini is Mother-Father God implanted in you
​2/25/21 - The secret inner life of emotions, Part 1
2/25/21 - The secret inner life of emotions, Part 2, Consciousness is the magic
2/25/21 - The secret inner life of emotions, Part 3, The body holds the love locked up inside
2/25/21 - The secret inner life of emotions, Part 4.  Celibacy & solitary esoteric techniques to restore balance 
​​​​7/22/21 - The science of personal radiation 
​12/10/21 - Receiving is the greatest lesson
​8/.10/22 - The Dweller on the Threshold 
1/1/23 - The ancient agenda of the male: sex stops the flow of love 
​2/16/23 - About sacrifice
​​4/21/23 - A lecture by DK
4/25/23 - You are not a body but a sphere of light 
​4/26/23 - Why the effort to rise above bodily comfort
5/31/23 - The battleground is in the heart
7/26/23 - Message from Mother Kundalini 
9/27/23 - Questions & Answers
10/5/23 - Building an identify of light
​​​

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5/6/76 - A personal connection with the fire of kundalini

(This was written within 10 or 20 days after kundalini dramatically awakened in me during a guided meditation in Costa Rica. There was no date so I assigned one randomly.) 
 
This morning after Bob left for San Jose, I was quite alert and anxious to sit down at the typewriter. But because of the extremely interesting things that have been happening, and because Bob has suggested that I direct this force, I wanted to tap into it again to set the course of the day. It occurred to me that I could possibly write better and more efficiently if I put myself in contact with the impersonal force within my body.
 
Over the past few days, whenever I consciously become aware of the forces within, my breathing automatically becomes rhythmical. I become more aware of things happening, and it does create a certain element of peace for me, wherever I am, even in the city. I also am aware of wanting to move, flex the spine, the shoulders, stomach muscles. This I never did before. It feels like my own body is becoming aware of itself and doesn’t let me forget it. It makes me feel good.
 
Yesterday, I saw a picture in a book of a helium atom. It was radiant in the nucleus and the electrons were semi-radiant as they spun around, held in place by an irrevocable chemistry. I could feel that unflinching attraction within the whole unit, immovable to any outside force except for the proper chemical mixture. I could easily imagine a human being as that central nucleus. He would be as radiant as his awareness would allow him to be. In other words, his own conscious knowledge of his forces would create the radiance. At the same time he would hold in check all his outer circumstances by the very same chemistry that the helium atom held its electrons in check. He has the power to control his life if he learns how to do it.
 
I am sure this is how man is meant to be, and he is meant to learn how to do this at the same time becoming aware of the interdependency on all other aspects of life. We cannot turn this power against natural evolutionary forces of other beings, or it will turn against us. We will be splitting the atoms of a natural force, causing a random, destructive reaction. But there are natural currents in life, currents of evolution and consciousness raising, among all organisms in life. We must feel our way onto these currents and go with them. Those who fight it, using their own personal desires for selfish or harmful ends will face hurt in many forms. Rubbing against the grain causes antagonism, and no man is excepted to the natural currents of life. Those who follow these natural flows of energy and do not try to change them, will find an upward, cyclical or spiral pattern. There is light involved which seems to flicker in the conscious mind and stimulate various parts of the body. I think this energy IS light, just as fire is light.
 
I was fully conscious, sitting on the bed, cross-legged. I centered my attention within my body. It moved into a rhythm of breathing. It seemed the breathing out was heavily accentuated at first, then the inhale was deeper and then the inhale and exhale became in unison, both equal in strength and timing. Shortly, I sensed that this was enough and it was ready now. This recognition can only be defined as a sense, because a thought is a stronger and more directed thing. A sense of something going to happen is a feeling, differentiated from a definite thought.
 
I sensed the movement first, before the movement took place physically. Then the body started to sway gently. The head turned to the right and stayed there. The body’s rhythmic movements became faster and faster. This is the same action which happens each time I allow my body to succumb to these inner forces, though never quite the same exact pattern. It seems to be a random shaking up of the whole body. I let it happen and the energy seemed to come faster and faster, in violent movements. The hands jerked back and forth, then in a circular movement, the wrists flopping so that the hands were totally loose and flopping. The head swinging from side to side, faster and faster. The whole body jumping up and down, alternating to shifting from side to side. I imagine someone watching me while this is going on, and I can’t help but think I would look like a mad woman. But I remember reading the little I can find on such experiences that it has been labeled the serpent fire because of its tortuous movements. To me it feels as though these inner forces of the body are shaking loose all obstruction and trying to infiltrate the entire body, to make it alive and responsive to the spirit which is being tapped. Since the first few times, I have definitely felt my body more responsive to the moment, moving whenever it feels to move, instead of holding it in check because of outer circumstances. I was aware of this sitting in a banker’s office yesterday. My spine wanted movement and I wiggled it around, and the shoulders, and I could sense a balancing taking place ever so slightly. It seems these actions are a preparatory stage to go through, to make a person ready for the dictates of more responsible action ahead.
 
I remembered Bob while I was going through these movements, he was in San Jose. He had stressed that this power should be directed and I thought, yes, it should be directed. Just to let it happen and go on like this without direction is to play with a powerful thing. Two days ago, after 35 minutes of such actions, Bob came to me and placed my right hand on his neck over a lump which has been evident for a couple of years now. He told me to use the power constructively. At first I was self-conscious and probably blocked the flow. But then I relaxed and let happen whatever would happen. My body started to breathe deeply, inhaling deeply and exhaling with marked force, my hand pressing in on the lump. I was amazed to think that the force knew what to do. I think I stopped it before it was time. Perhaps not. I sat back and removed my hand and became aware of a dull ache extending up my arm to the elbow. Then my hand started to shake, faster and faster, wrist flopping. That was two days ago.
 
As I was sitting on the bed this morning I remembered Bob’s lump and thought to direct the energy which was causing my whole body to move in such erratic fashion and with such violence. And at that, my body stopped and recaptured a balance. Then I realized how strong it had been because my breathing had been exceptionally heavy. I felt then the energy start to quiver in my right arm which moved outward slowly and extended straight to the east. I was sitting facing east and San Jose. There are no words to describe the power or the energy that I felt. I did not control this movement. I have been learning to go into neutral, into a surrendering mode when the movements come onto me. Lights flickered behind my closed eyelids. My arm shook and I could feel a concentration of the force in the palm of my hand. I quivered strongly and my body tingled throughout. And then I sensed Bob and his lump and my hand slowly closed. I could feel my hand closing around the lump removing it as it were. My hand withdrew and the lump was being dissolved in my hand. The energy was like light burning it away and I clasped both hands together and it was gone. Dissipated.
 
Sitting still afterwards, slowly the rhythm returned. The breathing came in short breaths, stressing on the exhale, shorter and shorter when my body started to sway and move. I wanted then to open my left arm and hand for this power to come through. My attention focused there and it seemed  as though my body stopped upon the thought of direction. And slowly the left arm pulsed with the energy, not as strong as the right side. I increased my focus and eventually the pulsations came stronger and the left arm started to quiver and I looked for a direction to send it to. I thought of the Centro Cultural which Bob had talked about yesterday as an idea to start a group discussion there. I thought of the building and Mr. Green, the director whom we are going to see later. It will be his decision whether we will do anything with group therapy at the Centro. The energy was coming more slowly, but definitely there. Eventually the arm started to quiver and shake and, again, I could feel the concentration of energy within the palm of the left hand. It began to raise, as it became stronger and I pictured the building and Mr. Green and the energy seemed to extend and encompass the building. Again there was light and power and energy all around. It was flowing but not as strong as the first time with the right arm.
 
I feel that I am preventing the flow from my own knowledge, or rather lack of knowledge. I will have to become more conscious of it. I am sure my whole body, right this moment, could be alive and vital with this energy but my lack of usage makes me believe otherwise. It is the conscious knowing how vital these powers are that allows the power to flow. Man must become aware of his body and the forces that dwell inside. It does not take care of itself - it is up to man to recognize and use them. We were given at birth a body, but we must learn how to direct it, and build on it, and use the energies within it. I am quite conscious that my lacks and weaknesses are the result of my own ignorance. The recognition and experimentation of these things will awaken them for use. It lies within our choice, within our own free will and wherever we choose to direct our own will.
 
Sitting still afterwards, I became aware of the peace that comes from completing a job. It is like the energy becomes still, withdraws or rests after each positive action. Shortly the breathing came in short breaths again, stressing on the exhale, shorter and shorter. When my body went into rhythmic motion again, I thought of another direction. I thought of Marg Larkins, which was harder to do because I didn’t know what kind of thought to send. So I just thought of letting her self flow back to center and I saw her central force, which has been scattered through the years, and pictured it being pulled back to center. I thought of her being uplifted, though I don’t think I directed that. It just happened automatically. And both arms lifted, this time not so much energy was pulsating. But I was conscious of a concentrated force at the palms. The palms formed a cup and the energy was there in the cup of my hands, as a - like a ball of light and energy. The arms lifted higher and higher and Marg seemed to be the focal point within the light. It became brighter and stronger and my body tingled. The body tingles at the height of the action. In the past, I used to feel tingling at the height of a perception of some inner thought. The tingles go through the whole body like a wave. I think this must be a mild form of energy release, opening up the cells to knowledge or perception - like an open mind suspends all thought. Going back to when Marg first came to me, when my hands first went out and extended to the east in front of me, I sensed her being, or her body, or her whole presence. In the palm of my hands I sensed the pressure of touching her but not in the sense of a physical touch. It was as though I had “found” her and had contacted her through whatever channels you contact someone at a distance. I sensed her and at that point the energy started to pulse stronger and the ball of light formed in the cup of my hands.
 
I feel that the mind is such a sensitive instrument that when it is still and at peace, one doesn’t want to ruffle its feathers, so to speak. One wants to stay peaceful and not disturb the actions that are happening. But one slowly learns that the mind has a function. It doesn’t really “go” anywhere. It’s not asleep. It is just sitting in neutral position. One can form thoughts even while the force is coming through and acting. You CAN direct it. In defense of all nature, however, I would suppose that these forces cannot normally be tapped until the person has learned to direct or control his thoughts along a constructive line. Otherwise, the world would be in chaos, placed there by people tapping into limitless energy without understanding. The mind is a tool, a director of this energy, and it takes wisdom to know how to use it. Bob has been a constant reminder to me that these energies must be used for a constructive purpose. As he says, there are many people in the world who are doing magician’s tricks, but also there are many people who are healing sicknesses and disease. There is a purpose for man’s inner hidden powers. But the purpose, I think, is revealed slowly, as one learns to use them. Intuition plays a strong part in this. There is natural intelligence directing it, and the further along one goes in following his natural intuitions, the more he MUST follow his intuitions. He is prevented from doing certain things which would hurt either himself or another person. He is prevented by these very forces he has unleashed. Once he unleashes them he becomes them and he is unable more and more, as he finds out, to do things against his nature.
 
There is a tremendous science involved with this - a true and natural science. I think that possibly these ancient teachings that have been hidden for so many years, may be ready to be taught openly to people. But it must come in a direction controlled by this natural intelligence. I think it has come to many people who didn’t quite know how to use it. Definitely it needs balance, and practical application in the world of the layman. It cannot be totally and impartially scattered. Possibly Bob and I could do it together, but we must be open to the inner directions.


7/8/77- Grounding ethereal thought in the world of matter 

(The date is a guess. I found this in my files with no date, a single page typewritten, words from nowhere, did not know from where they came. This was when I first started keeping the automatic writings in a file folder. Around 1977 or 1978.)

The master gland – the pituitary – the very center of the brain, governs and measures the growth of an individual. Not only his physical growth but his awareness, too which is infinite. You could grow in awareness, in theory and abstract knowledge forever, just as a tree could, in theory, grow upward and upward forever, if it were fed the proper stimulants to make it so. However, if a tree does not have a root system equal to the massive branches above, then it will become a very unhealthy tree and eventually fall weak and sickly under its own weight.
 
There is a similar root system in man specifically created to balance out his ethereal growth by grounding him. And just as with the pituitary gland, there is a physical organ which governs and measures his ability to stay on the ground with his feet planted firmly on the soil of practicality and earthiness. This gland is harder to understand and is infinitely more mysterious. The sexual organs, combined with the reproductive organs in men and women, govern and measure the ability to stay on earth. To live on earth and be happy here, fulfillment depends upon expression. And upon the health and freedom of both attributes – the ethereal and the earthy - the leafy branches of the tree top and the heavy and solid root system below.
 
The metaphor of a man to a tree has always been used. A quick look at a diagram of man’s autonomic nervous system will reveal an uncanny similarity to a tree. The tree of life of the Bible. Fine and delicate branches link up with larger branches which link up with even larger branches which link up with the main trunk line of the spinal column which descends to the pelvic region where it suddenly bursts outward again and downward like massive roots digging deep into the soil in ever increasing finer and finer branches. The pelvic root system with its glandular activities summed up in the sexual organs represents, in spite of our over complications, an extremely simple facet of man: the passionate and overwhelming desire of man to unite sexually with a mate is the desire for wholeness and union. Mental energy builds up, physical expression follows - a natural ground for a super charged electrical circuit. A splurge of love and total explosion of infinity in one finite moment. The feeling says it all.
 
It is the grounding and balancing of ethereal thought into the world of matter, into the world of flesh and sensation. There is a delicate, infinitely beautiful balance living in man and there always will be, between his spiritual flights of growth and his earthly pleasures. To grow spiritually without ever becoming grounded is similar to inflating a balloon. It will grow but remain empty inside until one day when its limit will be reached. Then the danger of bursting becomes evident and there is no place to go but down. Down to back and fill in the empty spaces.
 
On the other hand, to enjoy earthly pleasure only is as unbalanced as the other. If there is no spiritual growth, a man stays on one level only, as the animals do. Sleeping and eating and reproducing for sheer matter fulfillment alone. This eventually will bring atrophy to the spiritual powers of man and decay is inevitable. And so the two must go together. They always have. One must not be intimidated by the high cycle of another person who judges the opposing cycle. There is no teacher but one’s self. Only the inner self can feel the ebbing and flowing of the balance and the forces inside. Only the inner self can act out of its own knowledge of that balancing act. The privacy of thought is an immense world all its own – a university of understanding and learning. There is no room for outside teachers.
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6/17/79 - The seed and kundalini germination

[This was inspired while attending an economic conference in Costa Rica. The hotel suite was filled with noisy people so I slipped outside onto the veranda at dusk and sat on my prayer bench and began a meditation. This came up so I wrote it down onto my ever-present note pad.]

Buried in rich dark soil, a seed lies passive. Its shell, a hard crust of a thing, looks dead. Watered by spring rains, dried by the spring sun, the seed remains still, enveloped in silence. Day and night there is no sound, no movement coming from the little round casing, now showing signs of age. Days pass into weeks and still there is no change. Weeks become a month and more weeks pass, and the tissue starts to dissolve. The seed is dying. its vitality withdrawing to the core.
 
Suddenly a crackling sizzle leaps into life. Across the inner spaces of electrons and central suns, something moves which did not move before. It cuts a path of exquisite alertness across the decaying tissue, and in its wake there follows peace. An expanding, wonderful peace. From outside, in the dark heavy soil, the seed appears totally still. The barely perceptible trembling goes unnoticed. There is no evidence of the movement going on inside. No one sees the subtle electricity that jumps from nerve to nerve like lightening through the body of the seed, now in the throes of germination. No one hears the cries of pain and confusion as a mighty power pours itself into the little body through an opening in the heart. There is no one to witness the imbuing of an invisible fire, no one to feel the agony, and then the ecstasy as cell walls are ruptured by a powerful sensitivity that knows no time or space. And there is no one to share in the overwhelming joy that washes through the soul of the seed as, wave after wave, something overflows the little heart ‘til it threatens to burst its boundaries. No one knows. No one CAN know because the process is secret and private. Hidden.
 
For Days, the waves continue, ebbing and flowing like a living breath, rending the old structure from stem to stern with a deep and profound tenderness, over which flows something new, something pure. On and on it comes, fresh and clean and ebullient, rising, swirling and expanding, amid rays of light and sparkles, bright and happy. Happier than any happiness ever known and finally the joy can be contained no longer and a tiny, hair-line crack appears in the outer casing. Tomorrow a sprout will show and soon it will pierce the topsoil into the light of day. Yet the trauma that the seed went through will never be known. It will pass away, down through the hallways of time to become lost in the majesty of eternity as all things do because - well - because it’s only a seed.
 
A seed has no capacity to tell us what is happening to it. It is only a seed, a tiny little thing lost in the soil. But what if the same thing were to happen to you? Would you tell someone about it? How would you explain it? Would they believe you? How would they know you were not suffering from illusions?
 
You might say, “Ridiculous! Human beings don’t germinate!” And you would be wrong, for human beings DO germinate. This is the story of one such human germination. It is a true story and it is written from the perspectives of two different people: one subjective (the human author) and the other objective (that which channels through the author), both of whom were involved. They weave together, as one, in order to tell this story. The topic is a force, a concentrated force that lives in embryo form in the heart of every living thing, slumbering in the human being, awaiting the nutritious soil of a finer garden in which to be born. It works its wonders quietly and gently in the average human being, as though gathering strength for its remarkable day of awakening, at which time definite biological and mental disturbances take place.
 
An extraordinarily few people are aware of this force but, little by little knowledge is spreading. It is known as “kundalini” in the Far East, perhaps by other names in other societies, and information is coming to us from Eastern spokesmen moving west. Knowledgeable men carrying with them tales from out of ancient scriptures wherein the story is contained, veiled in flowery poetic language, intending, it would seem merely to spin a lengthy fairy tale rather than preserve and hide the deep and sacred truth which it does indeed.
 
There is an aura of mystery surrounding this force and even today, in this enlightened age, it is considered taboo to speak or write about one’s experiences concerning it. The reason for this heavy lid of secrecy which has been handed down by tradition, if not by knowledge, through the centuries to modern times, is elusive as one investigates the strange accounts that are whispered concerning it. Even I, myself, am pressed not to reveal this story and yet, upon recall of the strange happenings that daily filter down into my life and actions, I am urged to throw all warnings to the wind.
 
So strange and aloof are these experiences from all normal aspects of human life that, if I did not believe such an exposure would be of some small benefit to others in a similar predicament, I would not risk exposure to those reactions with which I am now so familiar and accustomed. But I am one of the more fortunate ones, for I have been buffered and insulated from the storms that rage in the outer world, by my husband who encourages me. And there remains no doubt in my mind that there are other individuals out there somewhere, and not just a few, who are either now today being touched by this extraordinary force or who will soon be touched by it in the near future and they will need all the support they can find. For such experiences as are kindled by contact with this mystical wind are deeply personal and sacred only to the one experiencing it, and they are in constant danger of being denied, ignored, ridiculed and cut off from the pure, life-saving intentions that accompany it.
 
Germination does not stop, once begun, and it will not go away. If a man or a woman, upon feeling such warning movements, does not give priority to these instinctive urges, a built-in time bomb begins to click its countdown. Even the smallest shred of evidence, a fleeting shadow of confirmation at such a time is like an intense beacon light sweeping its great rays across a darkened horizon to guide the smallest ship safely home. Not only is evidence needed, but encouragement, love and an uplifting atmosphere, for what is coming through is delicate beyond belief, and our present-day society provides a less than favorable environment.
 
In the particular case which follows, though there were tons of encouragement and love, there was no evidence, no confirmation, no writings, no one who knew anything about what was going on. Only blank, dead stares reflected back to me from the confused faces of friends and associates. Left to fend for myself, I followed these energy movements all alone, as they ebbed and flowed in rhythmic pattern through my body and mind, alternating from peaceful to violent, from a form of ecstasy to a maddening hysteria, cleansing and manipulating my body and reshaping my mind beyond my conscious control. I was forced, with no alternative, to rely upon intuitive judgment - that ultimate training ground of the soul, concerning how to handle this oddity that literally erupted into my daily life and smashed all normalcy to smithereens.
 
And then, as if compunding the strangeness, when intuitive judgment was not enough, as I walked the brink of earthly sanity, there occurred at those critical times the most remarkable interventions which saved me from going over that mental edge from which I know I would not have returned. How these interventions came about, I do not know, for no one, outside of my husband, knew about my predicament. And even he could not know but from observation. As the little book said which presented itself to me one day, “Kundalini is a mystery, and a mystery it shall remain for ever and ever.”
 
People speak freely today of universal energy and the vast powers of the cosmos. I would venture to say here that kundalini must be a condensation of those forces, compressed and compacted to almost a solidification of those powers, as much as powers can be solidified, for they really do press and bend the physical body structure. And once that remarkable mental contact occurs, when the door swings inward upon this hibernating potency, one is not as prone to speak about it so lightly, as once he may have been.
 
The ecstacies of high inspirational moments, those comfortable stretchings of feeling and awareness which occur periodically in individuals, would appear to be a gently flowing kundalini. These experiences would seem to be, and I speak only as an observer of certain actions in myself, the kundalini still in embryo form moving about, much like a human embryo kicks and shifts within the womb. But when the kundalni decides to become born into the physical body and thus into the world, the body and mind which bore it are never the same again.
 
These powers are no longer impersonal but deeply personal, as the objective succumbs, beyond reason, to the subjective experiences now unleashed. Influences and coercions come to bear on that body which seem not to be physical, and yet seem not to be mental in origin. They seem to come from a deeper level. These are forces uncontrollable, welling upwards as from a vast sea of something intangible and unknown. It is heightening and frightening at the same time. Forces, lights, visions, strange ideas, weird contortions, perversions and heart-felt sympathies and sensitivities and much, much more, all happen at once, magnified out of all normal proportion with no control over them to shut them off. One feels somewhat like a computer with an overload, helpless but to experience it. Without the tender sympathies of close associates, one could easily go mad, unable to accept the contradictions now thrust into the consciousness.
 
What am I? Who is this grand and noble one who is coming through, smiling at my wonderment? What lies hidden beyond the periphery of my consciousness? Perhaps it is too vast to measure, but while I am taking myself so exceedingly for granted, I - my very self - am being infused with a larger mind, a broader perspective, a knowledge of future. And with all due respect to the prevailing fears surrounding the subject matter, and these are heavy considerations, I fear more for the prevailing ignorance of my race concerning it.
 
A new age is evidently dawning in the collective consciousness of mankind. The world has reached a certain pinnacle in mental development and it would appear that, in order to go any further without falling back, it must relax into that new dimension, that of the heart, of feeling and awareness, and relax its grip on the hard edges of analytical mind. The preparation so badly needed, it would seem, is not discipline, contrary to popular belief, nor analysis, nor concentration, but rather a certain letting go, a giving in, a bending, a surrendering, to allow forth the inner nature, so that this force may seek and find its true level, uninhibited and free. For one’s own deeper nature is pure and alive beyond comprehension, glistening with the purity of unadulterated passion for the higher life and the grandeur of nobleness. But more I dare not say, for as I stop and look out across this beautiful valley stretched out before me into a far, far blue sky and consider these things, I lend myself too much to it.
 
Something far greater than I is absorbing me, and I am again lifted beyond what is practical. I cease to care whether I write this story or not. I cease to care about explanations, obligations, time or other people, for I see that all is well and pulsing. Nothing more need be done! It is finished and I am drawn irresistibly into a high, high state. It is another realm, superimposed shimmering, sparkling in light brighter than light we know with our physical eyes, upon this physical world in which we live. Would that I could but stay here. But my husband comes and wants dinner.
 
Reluctantly I shift my focus to physical things around me as he has taught me to do and lock in on them, for the other world is a world not of physical matter nor of physical consideration, but of forces and influences, of light and radiations and essences, of clarities and presences and feelings beyond description. And so I must stop my ethereal wanderings, else I will speak of things untimely. Instead, I will force myself to concentrate on telling my story as best I can, with one hand leaning heavily upon Bob and his worldly practicality for he has come a long way to help me, and the other hand leaning heavily on my determination to tell it exactly like it is.
 

9/19/79 - An interaction with Source

[After returning from Costa Rica and feeling sad over selling the house. I had a 2.5 hour meditation and movement session with the inner wind. It was more physical than usual, ending with a headache at the crown. I went very, very high and saw fantastic things. I wrote down some notes to fill in later.] 
 
"You shock the senses and the eyes - the light, the you, shines through. It is reaching out for recognition which it needs to grow and come back to center and withdraw the energy it has given to thought. Go back to center and withdraw. Back to core - seated. When you touch the light of someone else, keep touch, don’t let go. Contact and recognition is ALL it needs. It needs no more to grow. Who is this other being? They walk one and another out of the center and live outside of the center. But the center is YOU. You. You need to live free from parasites. Shut them off by recognition. Recognition is a knife to cut it off from the parent and it floats away and you are free, never to be attached again.
 
"The goal is to remain such an open mind that nothing remains long enough to create the block called 'a thought'.  The goal is to let all insights, inspirations and recognitions flow like a swift river racing to the sea, never stopping, only registering its mark on the walls and floors of the channels in which it runs. This channel is the brain cells of the organ of the brain, which is the head of the living tree of life inside a man. The whole intricate nervous system is a magic wand. The main spinal column is alive with the current of universal power, lighting the brain like a brilliant burning bulb. Yes, let the power flow quickly through the bulb registering merely on the cells and walls of the physical organ and let no stoppage occur. It will dam up like blood in the veins causes a clot. Then you have a 'thought' lingering. It can be revenge, unable to let go because of a desire to fulfill revenge. Or it could be involvement with another person romantically. Romancing and love is 'a thought' hanging around out of 'desire' to fulfill love. If one were to let go of the desire for love to a person, or of revenge to a person, there would be no more desires. A clear and open channel to the sea. The infinite sea adding to the sea of never-ending, eternal expanse as far as the eye can see. This expanse of living waters moving."
 
But, I think, there must be a link between these spaces and the earth - the mind of man as we know him in the world. He is an offshoot. The man we see on the street, the REAL person is INSIDE, hidden. I know this sounds crazy to the mind as we know it, but it is true. You are INSIDE. The REAL you. The real you is the one who is first conscious of life upon waking in the morning. By the second blink and the second breath, the mind, face or personality, the offshoot, has moved in. But we ideally want to get back there - to let the mind go. When we say, “I’ve got to be me”.
 
But that’s only making a new groove in my mind so more things can flow by me. I am inside, who am I? I am not the power flowing through my spine? I am something else - outside of? or just greater than the flow in the spine? I see -- but they are right, these things fit awkwardly into words. They are too much more than a word. A word is like a human body, trying to define and contain a greater thing, something infinitely greater than it the word itself - or the human body itself. It can only take what it is right now. The word NOW is growing for me to show me the expansiveness, the aura of the word NOW. It is unbelievable to my mind! But the land of NOW is so beautiful. I see it and I Will NOT attempt to define it. It is before me and it is over my head and under me and behind me and to the left and to the right. I am not in contact with anything other than NOW. I am contained in a box called NOW. But outside the box is TIME. Expectation and memory, forward and backward which takes us on a moving train around and around the outside of the box, the center, running to find NOW but they are running too fast! They’ll never find it while running. Even memory of a NOW vacation will not bring NOW. One must stop and cut off all thought and let them go. And soon we drift back to the center, the land of NOW.
 
Cut ALL thought. It’s easy to do once! But if you do not succeed the first time to cut off thought, it will be harder to do the next time. So be firm the first time. If someone else is still holding the thought, then go and make recognition together and help him to let go too. Then you will not receive any more thoughts that are not yours. This is the land of NOW. It is so peaceful here. A lot of activity but it is a happy and harmonious activity. It is a good place to be, even or especially in the body. Then let the body reflect in its expressions, this contact with NOW. Greatest of all are the feelings while in the land of NOW.
 
Watch the imagination, not the thoughts but the imagination - what could be called imagination - the pure vision, that which flows out of a nowhere and which carries a heavenly scent to it. A euphoric scent to it. Thoughts don’t carry euphoric scents, thoughts don’t carry any scent at all. Thoughts are merely things unable to live on their own. Cut off the thought and let the pure thing flow, swiftly casting light all around. Don’t be caught asleep. Watch. See the imagination flow by your mind’s eye. It will not come back this way again. It is heading out to sea in a rush.


2/18/81 - The twin flames of the caduceus

[We sold the house in Costa Rica and bought another one near Tampa, FL. While staying at the Saddlebrook Resort waiting to move in, Bob insisted that I do my movements. “It’s time,” he said, and so I withdrew to an inner room and had a most wonderful revelation - so fantastic I hesitate to put it into words. I understand how such revelations came to be hidden from the world. Copied as written.]
 
Today the movements were not strong. I put on the OM cassette, lit a candle and also incense. These help to create a better-than-normal atmosphere. The inner wind began to ripple through me and immediately I could see how my future altar will be in the new home. I want the crystal ball, a beautiful round clear image of perfection in the center, and then it began.
 
Deep within the center of the human body, deep inside of myself, lying cradled like a lovely jewel in the bowl of the pelvis as in a human womb, on a plane not to be seen with the naked eyes, burns the true crystal ball. It covers the entire pelvic bowl. It looks like the solid one, but infinitely more impressive, it is awesome to see, it is bright beyond comprehending, and I am sure even brighter than as I saw it. It burns there in total perfection. There is absolutely no flaw in it. And as I suspected on one other occasion when I received barely an instinctive glimpse and no more, the crystal ball of the magician is merely a poor imitation of this genuine pearl that lives within, unseen, unknown by any except the one who, through his own stripping away of discriminations, limitations, faults, one by one, the piercing of the heavy wraps which surround this ball of light, can now see. This is the pearl of great price. The light hidden under the bushel. This is the true self. This is the one seated upon the throne. This is the only true master and teacher of that individual who lives off of it, dependent upon it. It is the core, the heart, the true heart of the body and of the person. This is the I Am Presence , the presence of God within the body. The spark of divinity given to every man and woman born into this world and it is truly there, for I have seen it.
 
Then began the series of revelations. These were meant only for me but I record them only as one person’s experience, so others may weigh them by their own value. I thought to myself as I gazed upon this glowing white ball of light, which resembled the sun but more pure, more white, it had the semblance of a diamond in that the unnamable, untouchable glitters of color sparkling here and there can be stilled. They merely whisper and are gone, merged again into the white glow of the main body of light. It bears the aura, the sense of great intelligence. An intelligence too refined to bend to common supplications or common problems. It is too magnificent, its regalness too high, too pure, too holy for the world of men, to focus on any one thing. It would be like asking the sun to shine only on one nation, but not on the others. The sun, like this pearl, is too great, too powerful to be shut down sufficiently to examine its qualities. So with this inner light, it cannot be examined. It cannot be moved. Yet it is the embodiment of all virtue and all knowledge and from it can be taken the answers to all the specific problems troubling us. For this is how it happened.
 
I asked myself, how does this light come to be here, and not in the head? Why are people striving to reach the top of the head, when the light is down below here? I asked these questions in the form of thoughts and the answers came in the form of thoughts and visions too. Immediately, there was no waiting.
 
“The light comes from above, from the greater light. It descends down through the crown of the head, through the soft spot, down, down, down, to nestle in the cradle of the body. It is the tender core, the most sensitive and vulnerable region in the body, as it is also in the trunk of a tree, where the roots begin to branch outward and downward. Here it lies to give life to the body. Here it would lie pure if a person would allow it. But division often happens, and out of this wholeness and absolute completion, an element speaks out thus in that very act, separating itself from the whole and taking on a separate identity. The element which speaks first has come to be called the negative element, the female action or yin, for its act of separation is a withdrawal. It is a withdrawal that forces the remaining wholeness to become positive, as it reaches out to draw it back. And this is the male, the yang.
 
And so from out of that pure, lovely, flawless, glowing white light of absolute virtue, love and light, I saw first a smaller light, no less pure, but only smaller giving the impression of being less pure moving, moving outward  to one side and upward, and immediately, a second light moved out from the other side and up. And the two lights moved up and around in the form of a spiraling dance around the central column. Moving first away from the central column, then irresistibly back in towards the central column, irresistibly as if longing to be together, and then moving away again in an upward direction, around and around, forming figure eight spirals as first one, then the other, moved upward.
 
Now this central core was also a tube of light but more massive and it was down through this central core that the ball of light initially passed, leaving behind it a trail of potency like a translucent shell through which it will pass one day again when it returns home. It is a lovely tube, like a neon tube of light, and it was around this central tube that the two elements danced as they spiraled upward. They crisscrossed and touched each other at times, as they passed in the figure eight spiraling, and these times were the games that the male and female played together. And at other times they met and stayed together. These were the times where they had glimpses of the truth and they lingered over that truth, remembering and enjoying the wholeness that they used to be. One of the longest times they stayed together was in the region of the heart. This bears a secret I did not understand totally. There was a sense of humbleness here. And when they continued on above the heart, spiraling upward, it was somehow different. There was a different air about them, as though they had learned something and their lives had more purpose. There was intelligence to their games, an orderliness or striving now where before it was only fun. And they continued, two lines of light weaving in and out and back and forth in a spiral motion up and around the outside of the tube of the central core through which the ball of light had originally passed on its journey downward.
 
And they reached the top and merged. They merged into one whole again but the ball of light still remained below. They paused in their wholeness and looked back down the long tube of light. This time they could see into the central core and they realized what they had done. Realized that they had to return. They had to go back down to merge with and become the ball of light again, in order to go any further. Together in wholeness they journeyed downward, illuminated by understanding. They moved downward, back through the central core to touch once more the ball of light and together all three as one moved upward through the tube. Not around this time, but through the central core. When they reached the top of the head at the crown, at the tender soft spot, there appeared to be another cradle, just like the cradle of the pelvis. There are little petals around this cradle which looked like a bowl, sticking out from all around, like a fluted pie shell into which you pour the apples for an apple pie. It looked exactly like a crown sitting on top of the head, and here within the cradle, the new womb, the three cavorted, now merged as one. There the vision ended, for it was the entry into another plane which I could not see. There was a brighter light, a greater promise, and a feeling of infancy and newness and wholeness all over again.
 
The many stories in scripture form came to me as this was going on, many things came all at the same time during these visions, yet all was absorbed, as impossible as that may seem, for the capacity is greater to absorb and understand in this more expanded realm, than in the normal field of thinking. Eve was the one to speak first to Adam, asking him to take a bite of the apple. Which he did, so the story goes, and which in that act separated them from the original wholeness that they were a part of. The original wholeness being the garden of Eden. So from out of that wholeness called Eden which supplied them with everything they needed, love, purity, food, totality, they were flung. First she, due to her act of withdrawal, then he due to his act of following her to try to reach her and claim her back again. And in the time that followed they had their ups and downs, their games and their time of learning. Yet it was not a wasted journey for they were expanding and learning many things about themselves. They were growing, gaining all the while, knowledge of their own personalities, self-knowledge. They were learning the lessons of good and evil because of their own desire to do so. They were rising in consciousness of themselves. Then when they reached the top and merged into one, it was the prodigal son who thus realized that he had left his father, his community, down below. It was this son who returned and was received with a joy not to be believed.
 
And then I asked, “But if this is truly the secret of the kundalini, how does this fit with those who never leave, who never separate out from the ball of light? Are there any such persons born who do not separate but instead remain pure with the central core?” The answer was: “Those who never leave the central core are too pure. They will not remain in the world. There is no reason for them to be here.”
 
The vision caused many questions but there were no answers. When is the kundalini physically felt? Is the kundalini aroused when the two separate from the wholeness in the beginning? Or when the two now integrated descend again as one into the ball of light? Are these two lines, motor nerves in the spinal column? Is there a correlation in the physical makeup of the body? Is what I saw only how it happened with me? Does it happen differently with different people? By meditating on the top of the head, does that stimulate the ball of light at the bottom to expand? But there were no more answers, apparently. This was the end of this writing.


3/23/81 - The gift of love from a spiritual teacher

(This paper is one of three in a row, entered here as 3/23, 3/24 and 3/25/81. They were found in tandem in my files only recently with no date. They are from the era 1981 when I was on fire to start giving classes in Costa Rica. I did not know I was channeling. High thoughts were constantly pouring through my mind.  I have assigned them dates to put them into the timeline. This is a single typewritten page.) 

The power and energy of a consciously awake individual and spiritual master may jump across space and time and matter to another individual who is not yet awake. Such is the power of spiritual awareness. It is a light of profound ability which extends beyond the laws of cause and effect that we know. There is nothing through which it cannot penetrate. It can dissolve barriers of heavy negation, such as centuries of wrong doing. It can melt disbelief in an instant. It can restore limbs in the twinkling of an eye. It has no limits.

When such a transmission is given to another it is given as a gift, for it has not been generated from within, but from without, from another person who has more than the one receiving. This is what is meant by the "grace of the guru", and upon such transmissions of spiritual energy which is in reality an awareness, has been built the entire structure of religious systems. From master to disciple who becomes a master to new disciples. From heart to heart the power is passed as from a father to a son, as a spark leaps from one live wire to another at the space of several millimeters.

However, this transmission may also be received without the help of a physical guru or master. It may be transmitted through the spiritual ethers from higher beings in more refined layers who are no longer present in the world, but who constitute the "heavenly hosts and angelic choirs". It is far more difficult to do it oneself, but it is a far more valuable and rewarding way, for the grunginess of earth's atmosphere is like a sticky, clinging mud to the spirit of the individual who must lead a life of involvement with the  affairs of the world. In order to tap this source of power which is felt as love, one must learn how to reach up with one's entire being, instead of allowing oneself to continue to be dragged down. This is the only way to reach high enough into the spacious realms of refinement to touch the subtle glory of love and pull it down and out into the form of one's life and circumstance.

It is through conscious effort and will power to do good for oneself, to think good about oneself, and to worship the good that is in oneself, that one taps the higher powers. It is done through devotion to the highest in oneself. And to begin, one holds a steady, consistent attitude of reverence for one's own goodness, and begins to take action to amend the wrong that has been done to the sacredness of the inner heart of one's own self. If one cannot love oneself, then it is an impossibility to love another and do good to another. The task begins with oneself.

One may use an outside form of good if one wishes, to get started in the right direction, such as using the model of Jesus in one's mind and heart continuously, or the Buddha or a saint, or Muhammed or Zoroaster. Or one may do it all alone, by simple devotion to virtue, through the praise of that virtue known as love. But such an action of inner changes in attitude eventually makes itself known in the outer actions of the individual - and the transformation begins. And so it is that we direct our attention to the shifting of our conscious thought to virtuous ends.


3/24/81 - The energy called love

(This paper is one of three in a row, entered here as 3/23, 3/24 and 3/25/81. They were found in tandem in my files only recently with no date. They are from the era 1981 when I was on fire to start giving classes in Costa Rica. I did not know I was channeling. High thoughts were constantly pouring through my mind.  I have assigned them dates to put them into the timeline. This is a single typewritten page.)

The sea of universal energy is in reality a sea of love, and everything we do either adds to or subtracts from that universal storehouse. When we enhance the joy of life, whether in ourselves or in another through encouragement and recognition, we increase the reservoir of that energy. But every time we put someone down, including ourselves, we sap the energy from that ebullient sea of joy and allow it to drain away, losing a portion of ourselves in the process. No different than blood is wasted through an open wound. Each action that we perform, each thought and word we give out, shifts the balance of love energy allotted to the whole world, as our intentions permeate the sea of love intelligence in which we live and draw our breath, changing the balance in our account to a plus or a minus. Occult knowledge is knowledge pertaining to the right use of this love energy which is all that is uplifting to the spirit of man, while the wrong use of love is all that pulls down, thwarts opportunity at every pass, discourages and connives to usurp the happy heart of man. Right use of energy comes down to us in our modern terminology as the word Righteous, which tells us that righteousness is not a moral act, but an act of efficiency and wisdom, conserving or adding to the store of energy which has been allotted to each human being to do with as he sees fit. He alone is responsible for his life and his destiny.


3/25/81 - Reunite with the spirit of love

(This paper is one of three in a row, entered here as 3/23, 3/24 and 3/25/81. They were found in tandem in my files only recently with no date. They are from the era 1981 when I was on fire to start giving classes in Costa Rica. I did not know I was channeling. High thoughts were constantly pouring through my mind.  I have assigned them dates to put them into the timeline. This is a single typewritten page.)

Before you rise in spirit, you must first re-unite with this spirit, for it is the light from which you originally descended. This is the light of love which is the spirit of man. It is the light of happiness, and supreme ecstasy and bliss and self knowledge. It is the power behind your self. You are but a shadow of this light self, a shadow lying prone upon the ground in a one-dimensional world of physical matter. But as you raise your hopes, your vision, your understanding, you will become absorbed once more into the light of this unlimited love which is the fire of your breath and your life.

Why is it so difficult, you may ask, for individuals to merge with the inner light of love? Why is it that more people don't succeed? The answer is simple, dear ones, before you can re-unite with the spirit of love and become as one with that pure love, you must first make your peace with this world, the world of matter, emotion and psychic manipulation. The problem is rejection which turns to hate and anger. The problem is that no one understands how to love and absorb the ugly one into the light, to transform the features of ugliness. The problem is here, dear ones, in your ability to accept the ugliness, or rather, your lack of ability to accept. Your world is a mere reflection of the struggles going on in the hearts of the people who live in it. It should have no hold on you. You are free. You have no responsibility for the struggles of others, if you could but realize it. Your only duty is to raise yourself. So begin to put your own life in order, pull yourself together and make plans to organize your life.

How do you make peace with your world? This is the meaning of this course. We will travel down the road of education - education in the ways of THIS world, not the next. You already know the ways of the spirit. This part is innate in you,. What you DON'T  know is the ways of the world, nor do you understand the meaning of your struggles here. It is a problem of THIS world, not a problem of the pure flame of love energy that beats your heart.


4/2/81 - Ascension (a personal vision)
  
[Received in Costa Rica after reading the book "The Brotherhood of Angels and Men". I meditated after and then danced when the inner wind started to flow and the heavens opened to give me revelations. I went to the typewriter in trance, under a will not my own, and typed the following words.]  

There is a central sun - a spiritual sun in the core from which there radiates a million, trillion, rays with spark and energy. Out they flow, out and outward further, and further til at last they begin to lose their spark and vitality, until they grow heavy and dense, yet on they go further still, for the central sun shines forever more, on and on and out further and further. And as the rays grow dense they soon forget from whence they came, denser still they grow until finally they are in physical form and next to that is death.
 
Do not let the light go out! is the message from the sun. Do not let the light go out but send it back again. Let the body cease - it is alright to do, but do not let the light go out, send it back a’new. It is important to tell this message now and then you will learn about ascension - the return of the light from out of the darkness of human flesh. It is this way: it must be revitalized, renewed. It must be remembered, returned to its original state. The flesh will cease and be no more, all return to the light.
 
Ascension is the taking over by the light within the flesh. The light is being remembered once more, revitalized, renewed. It is the blowing of a breath upon the flame now died, recharging it, rekindling it back to life - but now it is a newer thing, a return and a transformation. You must learn to transform the flesh, bring it back to life. By your consciousness, your angel consciousness, you will imbue the body with a new vision, the fleshly cells will come alive with the original life from the sun. It feels heavy now, but never stop trying. Never stop letting the light shine forth. Breathe on it, blow on it, move out from under the shadow of heaviness, of coarseness, that it may breathe. Let the light so shine within your heart and mind that it will love you. You will not let the world sit on you, nor stop you from moving. Never let the light go out.
 
Use the ceremonies mentioned [in the book], for they are the focal point for us [the angels]. We will gather round about and reach and touch you where it counts - within the heart, within the mind, within the knowing part of you. Arise - arise from out of the slumber that you find yourselves in - the earth and the world’s inhabitants. Of all the beauty you behold, know that this is but a fraction of what is truly there, hidden yet from your eyes but there. You feel it in your hearts, you know it in your minds but you let the world impose upon you. Move! Move forever more for beauty is motion. Beauty is newness. Beauty is passion never dying. Beauty is love forever burning.
 
Do not let this part go out. And as you begin the turn-around, you will begin to transform your fleshly body. You will make it a minute fraction lighter. Lighter in light and lighter in weight. For light is light and free. And as you begin this transformation, this beginning of ascension, you will shed the contacts you once had. You will make the newer contacts from those already in the light, those in flesh and those beyond. For you are one with them when you begin the process. The process of which you want to know so much is the process of ascension. It has begun, and you shall teach it, ever new, without a name, ever old with many names. It lies awaiting every man, every woman born into the world. And the world will recover its fleshly bodies, heavy and cold and coarse, and it will continue down the path, out to even further spaces, harder and colder and with less light than even you can see within its atmosphere. It shall go further, have no fear, but it is part of nature’s law - part of the great and mighty law, as when the sun shines it must travel out to the farthest reaches of space. Yet in this case it is not space but velocity. As the velocity descends downward it becomes time and space. And you must choose how low you will go before you begin the turn-around. Each grade is lower in density until finally it must crumble from the lack of adhesion, which adhesion is the light of intelligence, love, beauty, honor, justice, power, power, feeling, knowledge, all the many names of the virtues that man has labeled over time. Can you not see the vision! It is just and good. It is natural and impersonal, and the feelings of personality and suffering are the sparks of light crying for awakening, crying out, “Do not let us be extinguished! Save us from the end.”
 
You can see the vision! You must tell the world. Yet now we understand that it cannot be done in crying voices but rather with the slow and steady mind of science, logic, reason, which are tools we know little about. You must supply it, we will help. You must do with the world what you know of the world. We will help all we can. We are at your beck and call, ever ready to step in. We would shed our love without restraint but it is not time for us. You must prepare the way. We are ready. We have the strength of a million shining tons of fire behind us. We are full of charge, full of strength, full of action and full of love. We are here awaiting, awaiting near the surface of the world. Looking for an opening, waiting for a call. Teach them, teach your fellow men what you are hearing. Teach them to listen too, we will hear them, we will lift them, we will teach what they want to know. Teach them to question, to ask, to look up. We are there.
 
And now you have it. You may rest and look this over, replay it in your mind. We are here when’ere you want us, we are here through all of time.
 

6/17/81 - The mystical connection, a personal instruction 
[Channeled shortly after kundalini awakened, before I knew who was talking to me. Typewritten and stapled with two other pages, 6/19/81 and 6/21/81.] another page.] 
 
Begin by writing down the exercises you want to do every day. Choose only so many to fit in comfortably to one half an hour or less. No more. For the remainder of the chosen hour should go towards non-movement and silent inner exercises. So you will have 30 minutes of physical movement dedicated to the body and 30 minutes dedicated to quietening the outer mind to communicate with the deeper levels of the same mind.
 
These exercises are geared to you specifically, for you are ready. You have gone sufficiently long enough in a non-disciplined, spontaneous manner of life that you have cultivated the higher energy to come forth. There is a danger now that it will become too rampant; it needs balance and control with your conscious mind. Consciousness relates to that which you know and have some degree of control over. Therefore you are now ready to begin a disciplined program, using certain control or will energy over or alongside of the deeper, more powerful, energy which you have felt to be greater than you.
 
Use the word mystical in connection with your work, for it is a key. Mind control denotes a different area. Your area is beyond the control stage, in the area of the unknown. In this infinite zone beyond consciousness, or beyond understanding, one may feel the intelligence of something greater than the observer. This “something greater” has been termed, for lack of another word, “God” or “supreme being”. It may be called whatever one desires to call it. However it is not beyond the person observing it; it should not be looked for outside and beyond. It is not there; it is the consciousness itself looming up greater than before. It is an illusion to think that it comes from someone else or some place else; it comes from the source of the observer himself or herself. It is the observer’s consciousness expanding.
 
This is the mystical part which  you will be teaching to others. One must not try to bring it into control which is the way of most people. Then it will be cut off. The mystical connection is the window through which expansion and higher forces enter the immediate consciousness – the mind. One must, rather than try to capture it (understand it), must step back, retain the sensation of awe and mystery and wonder, leaving the window open. One therefore remains a student in the receptive, learning stance, rather than assuming the role of teacher. A great teacher is a student first, even while (especially while) teaching, and always a student. A student learns, is the channel through which impressions flow – that is all. It is no great thing, and not worth blowing out of proportion. The pride experienced from being a “great teacher” is false, a closed door. You are aware of this, and thus are ready.
 
Neither should you put yourself down, or second place, for that is equally unworthy. A student is merely a channel, feeling neither small nor big, but enjoying the many varied sensations, both physical, mental and mystical all the while. He receives his reward from inner sense of peace and joy and fulfillment. He needs nothing more, needs no students, needs no friends, needs no successes, nothing of the worldly signs of success. So long as he remains an open channel, the joys of higher forces will spread throughout his whole being. You have felt it.
 
You are worried about whether this is right or premature. You wonder whether you should be open to it. Don’t be. It is the flow that matters. It will be the flow that will count, for once you are flowing, many ideas will come. You must be ready to put them down on paper. This is for your own good, to stimulate you when you re-read it. 


6/19/81 - Do your exercises, get your daily dose of cosmic energy

There is a kind of impulse flowing through your body, which is very high. Too high for science to record but as it lowers itself into manifestation, it is seen as the nerve impulses through the nervous system. In the mornings move your body to re-align it (the body) with this higher frequency. Don’t force it. Important – don’t force it. Learn to blend. Learn to blend. Learn to follow your good feelings and your bad feelings as you would hot and cold. Hurts mean that you should not pursue the activity; good feelings mean continue. Tired feelings mean stop, heavy feelings mean stop. Energy feeling means continue. Do what your body wants to do, it is a bodily, strictly physical function, this exercising. Let the body receive its daily dose of cosmic energy through the lines provided for that purpose. Your automatic nervous system knows what to do, let it function freely.
 
There is a kind of pain or hurt that in reality feels good to pursue – that is the edge, the beginning of bursting into new territory. Stretching the old limits to new zones. This is a good hurt and your body will tell you so. Listen to it. It is easy language. It requires no thinking. Don’t think. Let your body do the thinking for you. Give yourself up to your body’s mind, its consciousness is your teacher when you do your exercises.
 
Forget everything you have ever learned in the gym, in school, and in the past. Now is a new life, a new day, everything taught in schools are systems built on force. On the theory that you must try hard and you have to do it that way if you want to succeed. So exercise has been a forced action which shouldn’t be. To master your body which has an intelligence of its own, you must work with it, respect what it cannot do and what it can do; be gentle with it. Coax it slowly to bend and blend with your will – you. Who are you? You are the force of awareness behind your body. You are the master and you are non-physical and must learn the vehicle which you are driving. You do not get into a brand new automobile and drive it by forcing its gears into place and its driving wheels into new spaces. You get into a new automobile with great respect, so as to learn its capabilities so you can work with it. It is the same with your body – cultivate respect for your body. Listen to it. Talk to it and let it talk to you. Cooperate with its natural abilities, its natural inclinations and the end result will be a complete mechanism – you. A oneness of body and mind, spirit joining later.
 
Your consciousness IS. All the time, it is. Regardless of the state of your body health. If your body is sleeping you are focused in other places, no longer limited to the confines of the body’s senses. If you believe only in the body, which most people do, then you will not be aware of further experiences beyond the body. But you can train yourself to become aware, you can remember all during the night if you wish. Your consciousness is awake regardless of your body, regardless if you care to know about it or not. If you want to expand your memory to include dreams and other conscious impressions which you normally do not pick up because you are focused only on the body’s environment, simply repeat your desire to yourself during the day. Feed it into your mind and eventually you will so overload the brain with your desire that it will spill over into the subconscious - the depths of your awareness which make the more important decisions. Believe in your ability to contact the deeper levels of your mind and you will and you will bring alert awarenesses from those depths back again. Nice experiences, reminders of who you are and where you came from. You are indeed a greater entity than you think you are.


6/20/81 - A mystical happening is a buoying upward, wave upon wave

There is a light within every human being, an exquisite consciousness which focuses upon and illumines the world in which one lives. This light does not originate from the brain nor does it originate from the body, but from some place else beyond. The light can be turned down very low so that one’s whole life appears as though in shadow or it may be turned up very high so that all appears to be in light. Or, it may be turned up higher still, passing by degrees through increasing intensities until heights are reached wherein the physical world seems to fade away in the lucid brilliance of a living sea of splendor impossible to describe.
 
Such is the mystical experience. It is accompanied by equally increasing intensities of good feelings from peace and mellowness on the lower end of the scale, to a form of ecstasy in the upper reaches - ecstasies that far surpass anything known through the physical senses of the body including those of sexual fulfillment. If there were a word to describe the nature of this awesome light whose lens is the human mind, it would be intelligence - rising intelligence, for in the throes of an intense mystical happening one is buoyed upward, wave upon wave, higher and higher, revealing a clearer and saner vision all the while, until the mind must either blank out or surrender all control. One perceives in such a state, a literal unbounded sea of an increasingly finer quality of Something alive, breathing, knowing, moving, building, an intelligence too perfect for words, speckled with sparkles of Something even brighter than the sea itself, whose quality is ebullience and whose purpose is to lift everything it can and bring it nearer to itself.
 

6/21/81 - An intelligent benevolent force lives within you

[In this message DK is referring to the spontaneous dance-like movements which I used to do in the years following kundalini awakening. When I surrendered to it a trance state moved through me like an inner wind, taking me into poses similar to and feeling like ancient Tai Chi dancers.]
 
In your movements you become your body. You join your body in mind and thought and action. You are one whole person. A whole person does not make mistakes. He does not do one thing and think another. He does not divide himself. A whole person is integrated with himself and the one person makes all the decisions. He is whole, complete, his actions are single-minded. They feel right and they feel good. His thoughts are in the background, fairly non-existent for thought is an offshoot, a separate flow of energy from out of the main body. Thought likes to travel alone, it does not like to be told what to do. It has a disadvantage because it is blind. Thought is a prodigal son of the father source - the person inside. It leaves its parent behind when it travels and feels "free" when there are no problems, but it quickly feels lost when problems arise.
 
Thought in a whole and integrated person becomes a different kind of thing all together. It is not separated from its father source, its person inside. Thus it may not feel "free" in the same sense as a disconnected thought. But it is integrated with a great depth, an unending sense of connection. This connection brings a totally different kind of security, serenity, peace and harmony. It is connected to all life and therefore knows many things with connections to all things. This kind of thought does not have to move far to find what it needs, for so long as it is still connected to the father source, all its needs are taken care of. This kind of thought does not move. It does not have any sensation of moving by itself. The rat race and the tread mill felt by the average person is the disconnected thought moving all alone and the person feels that movement as a rushing movement. But an integrated person feels no movement as such.
 
Thought in a connected person is active and contains an awareness of much energy - it is not the lethargy of a sleepy man, or a dull man. Thought becomes something else entirely in a whole person. It stands connected and at peace, yet alert on a threshold watching what goes on. He perceives but does not chase. He drinks it all in but does not move. He does not judge. He remains motionless watching the motion. And he feels. He feels and understands what he is seeing because he is not narrow, but is wide open. His vision is a receiver of all that moves and on the frequency planes of motion, both visible and invisible, there is much motion. It is never still. The more integrated you become, the quieter becomes your mind. The quieter your mind becomes, the more you will see and feel. Your movements will make you whole. Do them every day. 


7/9/81 - Something personal

[This was channeled through automatic writing one day in July 1981, obviously channeled by my higher self. I found it in the files much later.]

I am Nancy and I come from the stars. I discriminate with my time. I choose what I do with it. I choose how I spend my energy and with whom. I plan my actions before I do them. I use a discipline to help me plan. Part of that discipline is that I write certain plans down into my calendar every day. This helps me to fix it. Another part of this discipline is that I think before I act. * I am Nancy, I come from the stars and I am lighter now that I know this. I remember more every day about the place from which I come. I am a servant of the light and I am here to live those attributes of the light. I am lighter on my feet, lighter inside my mind, freer inside my body, looser inside my brain. I am coming to know what this body is all about. I am Nancy and I come from the stars. I am living on a higher frequency now, floating lightly. I am treading loosely. I rise now through the levels that pulled me down once. I am rising through coarseness now, lighter than my body. I am rising upward. I am light and I am free of bondage to this world. I am free from the levels of thought that hold other people down. I am of the light and I raise this body up. Each day I raise it up further and further as I become more and more conscious of who I am. Each day I gain more control over my mind and my thinking processes, my emotions and my brain. I am Nancy and I come from the stars. I have another body within this body, [and larger because it’s more spacious], it is lighter than the physical body. Each day my eyes become clearer, each day my vision expands. Each day the lenses of my eyes become newer and healthier, more whole, more perfect, for I see who I am and from where I came. I begin now to serve my purpose for coming. I am ready to let go of all that bound me and held me to the world. I release the past.
 
I release the past and I feel a new world, a new body. I give in to the light within. I remember now I can see. I am here where I want to be. I am Nancy from above and I came to help. I am happy, light and single. I am happy, light and free. I am happy, light and single and the angels walk with me. They talk, they teach, they are my brothers. I am one of them I know. I remember, I am free, I got through the heavy part, the coarse vibrations, I got through the flesh and bones. I released the heavenly fire, uniting heaven with the earth. They are joined now and with the fusion of the forces and the passing to and fro, I am ready to begin the teaching, my thought is pure in that direction, the balancing process almost done, I am well and whole. Now I know where I am going and though my spirit almost died, I am here now, I succeeded and I’m ready to teach the fire.
 
As you go through the process of waking up, you will unlock many hidden blocks, germs of anger, discontent and other things. Do not be concerned if you feel these things strike your consciousness, the world has sown them there; the world must take them back, let them go. As you fall asleep tonight, give yourself in trust to the keeper of your heart and soul. Ask that in your dreams, these germs unfold and go away, gently so they do not hurt. Work them out while you sleep and remember them when you wake. They are yours to experience. Know them, feel them and do not be afraid. Behind it all is the keeper of the flame, of the heavenly fire that burns within. He knows all, protects, enfolds. There is nothing to fear.


7/10/81 - Techniques of the light, mastering the sex forces
 
(A handwritten page found with July 1981 written across the top, and "channeled". This was in the beginning days  when Bob and I started to host seminars on swinging for couples only.) 

You and Bob and the people come first over the house. The house is merely a tool through which to teach the light. You and Bob and the people come first. When teachings start to come from within, don’t make the common mistake that most people do. These revelations are meant for you. Don’t give them indiscriminately to the people. First look at them. Learn to accept what is your private teaching and absorb them. They would not come to you unless you NEEDED them, called them to you. YOU are the magnet. They are meant for you first, last and always. Heed them. Drink them in deeply. Read them over often. This is an Ode to You.
 
Your eyes are the only eyes that see. Whatever you see is the only truth. Your heart contains the one and only truth. Whenever your heart speaks, listen. Listen. There are depths to your mind that only you know. In these depths, reality tries to speak to you. Whatever you know in these depths, know with all your heart that this is the truth. Do not let others tempt you away from that which you know. Your heart knows the truth. Listen to it. Relax and listen now. Sleep if you will, but let go and listen.
 
Do a second book entitled “Spirit”. The nature of spirit is to rise. This is what your people feel in mystical experience and in sex. It is what is bound and heavy during incompatible sexual experience and wrong acts, for spirit tells you what to do, which chemistry to follow that will let you feel good within yourself. It is the intelligence of the person – the true intelligence of the person – this then is your subject matter for your second book.
 
You do not need a three-hour session every day [of spontaneous movements]. Let your rising spirit tell you when to take it. Follow its calling and its urging as it manifests as mood. Don’t ignore it! In your exercises, when they take over, always seek to align your self with the momentum of your body movements – NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. Sometimes your movements are slow and you think to yourself that you should be going at it more rigidly – don’t! Give in and give up to that spontaneous body force which is flowing in you and you will feel a wonderful release. It is your mind that is running away, pull it back. This mental fighting that you do is the cause of all your frustrations. On the other hand, there are times when your body is moving fast very naturally, following its own impulses which you cannot see and you think that you should slow it down. Why? Who are you to judge something which you cannot see? There is a time for all organisms, for all things and when the time arrives, flow with it. Give in and you will gain more and more all the time.
 
The law of spirit is magnetism first, last and always. There is no way to intervene with this law. It is the law that says like attracts like and it is not a manmade law! Let’s spend a little time on this one phrase and examine it. There are those who will counter with “But opposites attract too.” Such opposites are illusion. On the surface they may appear to be opposites and you have formed a convenient theory of how a lack is attracted to a surplus of one quality or another. But that is on the surface of the personality. They may come from different cultural, religious, or economic backgrounds. You could say conditioned approaches to life’s problems are opposite each other. But what you fail to see is the deeply buried, internal nature that is reaching out to feel and touch that same essence in another. It is spirit, unknown, unseen, undetectable and magnetic. The workings of the spirit cannot be altered by physical means when it is alike in both parties.
 
It is possible to awaken this sparkling effervescence while still living in the world of jobs, daily newspapers, television, violence and the eternal struggle to cope. It is possible even while holding down a job and while associating with people from all walks of life, moving all the while in and out of heavy environments that tend to cling. It is highly advantageous to learn more about the ebullient nature which lives imprisoned in a semi-dazed condition most of the time, inside the body and mind. Why does it awaken only on occasion? How can a person bring it alive? Is spirit mind? Is the spiritual person the ghosts we see? If a person is really a glowing, ethereal entity held prisoner inside his body, then why? For what reason? Who did this to him?
 
In olden days men were guided to enlightenment by teachers who watched their students every day for years. They watched how they moved, how they walked, talked and slept and ate. They tested their reactions which revealed their weaknesses and their strengths. The teacher came to know the student well, yet still it took years and sometimes a lifetime and sometimes a student never reached the goal of enlightenment – that state of conscious knowledge where everything one does feels good. It feels good because you only do that which is compatible to you, and anything you set your heart to, because you set it towards only those goals that are natural and right for you, you achieve. This is the place where you are re-united with the light of life, the source of all living things, the intelligence, the well spring of love and knowledge, justice and balance. Here one may rest and yet be moving; he may close his eyes and still see, close his ears and still hear, he may not eat food and still be full, sleep and yet remain awake.

Here one may rest and stop his endless searching and yet all that he could want would be his. Seriousness becomes a smile, happiness becomes glee, joy becomes eternal bliss. The knowledge of who he is, from where he comes is reached. He is secure that he will never have to leave this place again. The glow of fresh visions surround him continuously, elevating him in their effervescence, and all physical forms upon which he looks, no matter where he looks, take on the quality of translucence for the light of life within the form is no longer hidden from his eyes. He sees all things, knows all things and his knowledge dances in union with the light of the forms around him, no matter where he walks, no matter how low he goes, no matter how old his body gets. For his light, the spirit within, is free from the hold the flesh had upon him. And though he still chooses to live within it, his body is an enlightened one.
 
This is the promise that is passed on to you from ancient times, restated over the years by certain ones who know. It promises you that you too may reach this place, perhaps soon, perhaps a long time from now, but there is no one who will not reach it, for everyone has come from there. The age is here where we may tell you, not just the few but all people across the globe. You must work and live with other men and women, raise your children and perform your tasks that take you or time and drain your energy, but I will teach you the techniques that will bring you closer to your goal. They are not new, but very old, these techniques of the light.
 
Techniques are worthless unless you work upon your Self and not just your world in which you live. You must prune away the greed, the selfishness, the intolerance that you know deep down you have. These are the weaknesses that bind you to your prison of flesh and to your circumstances. Weed out the discriminations of the flesh and become discriminating with your soul. Master desire and replace it with a TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT attitude. Prejudice against any man, woman or child because he is black, yellow, Jewish, democrat or communist or whatever you have labeled him besides his name, must go if you are to see through clean eyes and master your pre-conditioned mind. No one else can do these things for you. No teacher, student, friend or parent. Only you. I can give you these techniques and guidance, only you can learn. Ritual is important. More later.
 
Misuse of the sexual energies is almost universal. It is another sign that the body and the mind has control of the YOU which dwells a prisoner inside. But you need not abstain from sex. That is a misconception that is as old as time. Personalized instruction are not just techniques to follow blindly but explanations of why.  Before we begin, your mind may wander a lot and you wonder where to focus your thought. Your inner body is made of light. Where special functions are going on there is even greater light. But I am going to give you only two great lights, important lights upon which to dwell. One is at the top of the head where your mind is waking up and the other within the sexual and reproductive area, where your body is waking up. As you follow the breathing techniques, go first to the sexual area and then to the top of the head. Allow yourself to fluctuate between these two places and go where it is the most natural to go. Body and mind must be joined by YOU, the spirit. Don’t make them important, just be aware.
 
These exercises are geared to lead you away from outside teachers. Turn to your SELF and your own awareness. You are the comfortable place. Be as comfortable and snug and warm within your body as if you were in the arms of a protective mother or father. Settle in and relax in those arms, for they really are there. You may not see them because you don’t know and do not trust. But they are there, warm and glowing. Your mind may argue that it’s selfish to feel this way, but don’t listen. Let the feelings that give you peace take hold – they are never wrong. Allow the feelings that give you warmth and comfort, these are what you want. Let them be your guide. They will guide you to the center. They will take you home again. Let the goodness shine, it is the truth, the sun. Here within are all the answers. Here is only peace and love.
 
Learning to use sex properly is part of the awakening of spirit. One is meant to become a master of the sex forces in his body which is the same spirit that is awakening. To become a master of something one does not run away from that which one wants to master. Too many people abstain from sex in the belief that they have mastered their desires. And when the feeling smolders inside them when chemistry strikes, they have to work harder and harder to hold it down and themselves above it. If one finds oneself “working” at it then they are going about it the wrong way.
 
The funny part about life that most people miss, is that the easy way is the right way. Nature tells you by a good feeling which way is right. Everyone thinks the hard way is the right way but the harder it is to accomplish a thing, the more you are swimming against the tide. Your nervous system knows what to do in all cases, if you give it free rein. It is following a discipline that you know nothing about, and therefore you must learn. The red rejection light on a computer warns “reject – improper info.” Good feelings are open doors leading forward.
 
With the arousal of the spirit comes a re-awakening of the sexual appetite. It is a necessary chapter in your education. The chapter is entitled “facing your own sexual appetite and learning all about it. Lab work required.” The God part of you is trying to reach the human part of you.

7/13/81 - Future sex requires love
 
(I found this in the files, hand-written sometime in 1981, after we started exploring the lifestyle of swinging. I know now that it is DK speaking, but I didn't know it at the time. I picked a random date to put it in chronological order.)

On a practical level, sex in the normal sense is a portal to higher consciousness but only when it is respected. Respect is an elevation of thought chosen by the mind. The higher the respect level, the higher the experience one may have during the intimate act. Let's say respect is the lowest level. From there, one may rise a bit higher through appreciation, then a little higher still through gratitude, then a bit higher through joy, higher still through reverence, and yet higher through adoration, praise and so on.
 
All of these thoughts, when held in the mind, are different frequencies. They put out and generate different waves that vibrate with feelings. They are felt viscerally, internally, as feelings when entered into. When thoughts are focused on these feelings, which one must practice with to better identify which is which, it is possible to "fix" them into that frequency like a laser beam or a flashlight held by the mind's attention.
 
When the mind wanders like a lost soul, mental attributes diminish and become defused. So the power of mind is developed by practicing with these higher states of consciousness, combined with the ability of mind to hold that focus. That is when the quality focused upon becomes a feeling. Mind must hold the focus long enough that it descends into density, which is physicality. Sensuality is a held thought focused on long enough to become physical.
 
In our culture we have not been trained in this art. Most people think sensuality is an accident that comes from some mysterious chemistry between people. That is far from the truth. We MAKE our sensual feelings by focusing on the quality we want. We "make" love by thinking and holding love in our thoughts, not by diddling the yoni or pumping the lingam.
 
When we focus our conscious minds on our heart we can become more loving.  The brain is the cold mechanical computer where intelligence is received from higher planes and stored. The body is where love is received from higher planes and stored. It's a step-down process. The two go hand-in-hand. We receive intelligence (which is light) and it becomes love as it descends down into the body from higher planes. The mind receives and passes it down into the body by holding it and directing it downward. The body receives it as sensuality. Mind and body must work together to create a loving sensuality. They walk the path together.
 
When we focus on the third eye, specifically the middle of the brain where the pineal gland is, we receive intelligence from our higher self. Our God-self. The third eye must open to receive. Until it opens, it can open and close randomly. The third eye mostly recycles what intelligence it has already accumulated. But we can receive more. We are infinite creators.  For example, one does not simply "make up" or pretend an emotion of adoration. One must think the thoughts like "I love you, I adore you, I revere you, you are beautiful, you are so precious to me." Thoughts of that nature. As one builds a momentum of this type of thought, which you can think silently, it doesn't have to be out loud, it raises your consciousness until you are literally singing these adoring phrases out loud. You are opening and receiving the beautiful higher conscious that is infinite and close to the creator and the angels of heaven, even as you are a physical body.
 
Your heart, which is where your true God-self is anchored, automatically kicks into action. The cells of the body, yours and your lover's, are stirred by this thought-triggered emotion of loving adoration because you are setting into motion the vibration of higher and ever-higher frequencies. This is the real secret of Tantric love which has been lost today.
 
If one is going to pursue this path, the first thing to consciously change is to stop using the dirty words common to our culture which we think are sexy and cute. They are not. They carry very low energy in them. They pull you down to the lowest common denominator - basic physical animal sex. These are downward-spiraling thoughts. They are heavy with not only animal instinct but unresolved and undesired instincts of terror, fear, hurt, pain, and more. The way to change them is to think the high thoughts mentioned above, starting with "I love you," silently in your mind. This is used in solitary Tantra too, where one person is working with the higher God self and praising the Presence of God.
 
Think words of love, praise and gratitude and as you say these words silently, pretty soon new beautiful words start to flow forth on their own. You are basically building a momentum of this beautiful energy, taking it away from the old ways and carving out a new groove that is precious and exhilarating. New neurons are created and put to work in the brain. You are literally bush-whacking a path through the tangle and undergrowth of the wild forest.
 
It is consciously-directed thoughts that tap you into the love energy stored on the high shelf of the heart. You have to reach up for them. These words, spoken silently in the heart, then enter into the blood stream as the heart pumps, pumps, pumps your blood, and carries the vibrations of your words all through your body, transferring it via vibration and breath to your lover and your lover's body. These words are literally being woven, as you speak them, whether silently or whispering them out loud, into the fabric of your muscles and tissues and elevating you to higher planes of consciousness and physicality. They are bringing more light and good, positive energy into you. It is a spiritual journey. Making sexual love is a sacred act when it is done this way. Sacred does not mean somber. Sacred means joyful, light-hearted and fun-loving.
 
Sacred sex is light-hearted sex. Most individuals you meet on the street would not know what sacred sex is. Most people don't know what Tantra is but they are drawn to the word like flies to honey because there is a vibration to it. A sweetness. A light. Love. If you are ever asked about sacred sex, you will know what it is. It is light-hearted sex raised to the highest level of love you can imagine or build. And it comes from the heart.
 
Through the use of conscious focus on love, gratitude, joy, and other words you can come up with, you can expand sexual energy from the groin to the heart, to the head, to the arms, fingers, legs, toes and higher into the etheric body, the mental body and the feeling body, and out through the physical body.  And you can do this with any partner you happen to be in bed with. You do not "love" this one particular person, you enter into the energy of love, appreciation, reverence, gratitude and joy within yourself. It is a loving relationship with yourself, and then you share it with whoever you are with. This is how you can love many people, and not be confined to one person for the rest of your life - which does not mean you don’t have responsibilities once you enter into an arrangement by contract and agreement. We all have ethical responsibilities to be morally committed to our agreements.
 
The skill requires developing within self. It lies within the morals and principles of each person. The skill does not lie within the partner to make you feel good. In fact, the one special person at home is the most difficult partner to work with because of repeated patterns that develop over time. Intimate practice time with other people is beneficial to enhance the lovemaking at home. Committed relationships need to expand into love in order to endure. Often, it is easier to work with a partner you are not familiar with.
 
A man or woman can become quite a famous lover by learning the art of sacred sex which is using consciously controlled thoughts of love and appreciation during the act of sex.  The sex partner will feel it if it is genuine and not contrived. This is the truer concept of tantric love-making. It is creating the love first within yourself and then sharing it. It is an advanced form of love-making. The traditional form of sex and love, as when boyfriend and girlfriend become infatuated and form an exclusive relationship, wears off in time unless they learn the art and skill of maintaining a momentum of love which comes from their higher selves. This is not customarily done for lack of education in the sacred arts. Most couples end up falling flat in the love department and take each other for granted.
 
Every couple starts out on a honeymoon high, a wave of love  for one another. It's called "new relationship energy". NRE for short in polyamory circles. But in time new relationship energy descends into taking one another for granted.  Boredom sets in and then possession due to not being fulfilled and jealousy if they look at another person. They do not understand what happened to the high of earlier days and want to get it back but don’t know how. The grip tightens on possessing each other and knowing what each other is doing in their absence. It turns into jealousy at glances at other women or other men.  The problem is lack of love within self. The spiritual path is about loving yourself. Loving yourself brings such a feeling of well-being and security that you cannot be afraid of losing your mate. You want him or her to be as free as you feel.
 
Typically, a couple falls into cultural habits. Everyone does it, we think to ourselves. It is expected. Taking one another for granted is normal. Limits are placed on behavior, jealousy follows and suffocation is the result, as we ourselves hold ourselves back from saying what we feel. We remain increasingly unfulfilled because we look to our partner to provide us with everything we feel is lacking. They can't. They simply can't fulfill you on all the deep levels that you are. Our needs are repressed.  Our past lifetimes are filled with this pattern of behavior because monogamy and possession of each other has been the cultural habit for thousands of years. We do it over and over and over, generation after generation. We are still doing it today, but today there are new inroads being made.
 
How to change this pattern? Talk about it. Find ways to open up about what you feel – and listen to your mate as they speak their feelings out loud. Don’t take it personally. Take it impersonally, with kindness. Go slowly. Talk honestly. Do not hide or repress your feelings. Having intimate encounters with others should be done without cheating. In open agreement, or as best as possible. Be careful of your relationship. You entered into it. Be responsible for your part in keeping it intact. Honesty is the only way to maintain a relationship. Hiding the truth from one another is a downward spiral.
 
The swinging lifestyle continues to grow because it works. Couples can experiment and enjoy feelings that are different than the ones they have at home. They can stretch beyond the rigid confines of a one-person ownership. Love is renewed at home when each partner is pleased with themselves for giving their partner the freedom to enjoy another person.  If there is a problem, hopefully they will try again and work through it by sharing their feelings openly with each other. It comes with a struggle and perseverance to get back on the horse to change the game into a positive, more light-hearted one.
 
The world has changed. The goodness of monogamy remains but the hurtful and suffocating aspects of monogamy are changing. It is a new age. When newness is brought into the relationship - and it's is up to each couple to decide together how to arrange it on a practical level – then there is more freedom in the world. You can expect it.
 
We do not have the right to repress our partner, and it is more important not to repress ourselves. Our first responsibility is to self.  It is through the conscious use of love during sex that sex changes to lovemaking. This is making sex into sacred sex.  A relationship includes the necessity of being honest.  No cheating.  A single person not committed can have as many lovers as desired, but when a relationship begins to form, honesty starts to play an important role. Otherwise, love is not being included in that relationship.
 
Cheating is an aspect of not-love. It seems to be universal today because monogamy as a cultural rule has everyone in its vice-like grip. The advice is, if someone is suffocating in a relationship that is too rigid, talk. Talk about it to the partner. Talk, talk, talk. There is no way that a relationship can continue to be stuck if there is talking about it. Sometimes one must insist on a sit-down meeting across a table when all else fails. Sometimes saying something in passing and going out the door, does not work. Give yourselves honest discussion times periodically.
 
Every couple in the lifestyle of swinging today, has "talked about it".  That's in quotes because talking about it is the one common rule in swinging. You have to open the discussion and talk about it. A couple can agree to just about anything if they talk about. They cannot move themselves past the stuck point of boredom and suffocation and even depression, if they don't. There are any number of ways they can relieve the suffocation, boredom and depression. It is the first rule of love - to be real by revealing your true feelings. Be brave. Initiate the "talk".
 
Be the brave warrior of your own heart by daring to step forward and stand in the sunlight of your own self, revealing yourself. The worst thing that can happen is an argument or a slammed door or temper tantrum - and then it passes. All things do pass. Do not be afraid. There are worse things that could happen. A person will be surprised at how good he/she feels when they take a stand like that. It is because they draw on inner power and when you draw on inner resources you open the door to even more of the same. A person is so much more than he/she thinks they are.
 
When you adopt a truly loving and authentic attitude, you find healing and support. It is through one's own heart that you find solutions that are unique for you and your situation.  Each person must take responsibility for his or her own thoughts and direct them to the heart, if they want to become more real and more authentic and to change their life from boring to exciting.
 
Regarding sex and lovemaking, it is not in the movement of hip against hip or groin against groin,  but in the movement of loving thoughts-made-into feelings, where one does not want to hurt another. The physical anatomy of sex is secondary and will take care of itself when the time comes. The focus on reverence, joy, appreciation and respect is what releases the deepest, best and most pure parts of a person, the highest and most refined ideals and motivations.  This is what fills the body with turn-on feelings we call sensuality. It is love and it comes from the heart and the mind.
 
Tantra, as it is traditionally taught, is with one special partner who is willing to work with you consciously, and it is "work".  There is a lot of practice time.  Couples were opposites. For centuries men and women had to really "work" at it to find a higher place in themselves because it did not come natural to them. There has been animosity between men and women for a long time.
 
Today we are seeking a new dawn happening. The swinging lifestyle is producing understanding between men and women. They are enjoying sex with each other on a higher plane. Mars and Venus are working it out.
But still, today, monogamy is stifling a lot of individuals. They are not able to "talk the talk". One person may really want to explore having sex with other people, but the other may not. Often it's the man taking the initiative and he is trying to talk his lady into trying it with him.   When your partner has no interest whatever in doing this with you, then what do you do? Do you put your urge for more sacred love on hold forever?
 
The only solution lies within one's own heart and inner being. Each person has a higher self that has all the answers. But those answers are usually buried beneath the layers upon layers of belief systems. There are so many factors to consider when inviting someone in to open up the monogamous relationship. These factors cannot be articulated. They must be felt as one walks through it, step by step. And beginning "the talk" is the first step. To try to "set someone up" is a mistake. Authenticity cannot be manipulated with much success. The heart is over-lighted by the higher self, which marches to a different tune than the human being which is weighed down by limited beliefs and fantasies.
 
Sex is a journey that involves your genitals. Spirituality is a journey that involves your ideals. Sex involves the lower body, spirituality involves the heart and head and higher. Most people in the lifestyle do not take into consideration the heart and head, but they GET THERE ANYWAY!  This is such an important point. The sexual lifestyle known as swinging is a higher path because people have to be polite, tolerant, and respectful. That lifts them above the non-swinging individual who is still monogamous or cheating on the side.
 
Many people associate intimacy with emotional pain so they want to just "have sex" only and not get into the bonding of heart, mind and soul, which is true lovemaking. Most women have shame associated with their genitals, and many men do too. They may THINK they don't if they were raised in the locker-room mentality of "men are men", but take them out of the locker room and connect (if you can) with their higher heart as I have done, you will find a great deal of resistance. I honestly did not know this five years ago, how hurt they are. How damaged and alone they feel. They want sex badly because it is the only time they feel love coursing through their body.
 
The fear of being emotionally hurt again - and this fear stems from lifetime after lifetime - is the impetus to rush the sex to completion to get it over with fast. Sacred sex and tantra is about slowing down and connecting with those emotions.  Tantric goddesses are popping up everywhere these days because the age of male-dominance has come to an end and the age of the feminine is rising. It is the age of Aquarius made popular by The Fifth Dimension. The feminine in all of us will rule. Peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars, as the says.  With the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, which is the rise of the feminine gentleness in everyone, harmony and understanding, sympathy and trust will abound. There will be no more falsehoods or derisions.
 
When the feminine starts to rise in a man, intimacy exposes the underbelly of pain. It makes a man vulnerable because he feels soft and pure and innocent of heart. This is what he has been guarding himself against and steel himself so he won't feel it. It is the feminine in him. He feels afraid but that is why a man should try to find that soft underbelly within himself, and take every opportunity to step into with eyes wide open.  Opening "the talk" with a primary partner is an essential part of the journey because this is meeting vulnerability head on, and hidden within vulnerability is strength and power.
 
One doesn't know this until stepping into it.  It feels as if you are stepping off a 14,000 foot cliff into the air to experience free fall.  It is not required that your partner approve what you open "the talk" with.  It is only required that you speak from your heart and be true to your own underbelly of feelings. This is important (when the time comes) because your partner is entangled and enmeshed with you, emotionally and mentally. Disentangle yourself. If you duck out, cower out and do something without your partner's knowledge, guilt will move in quickly and harden you all over again, for you MUST steel yourself from feeling that emotional pain. Also, it is possible that your partner will know anyway, at least on a subconscious level. It's not easy to fool someone with a cheating affair. Some get away with it but not many.
 
Be free of guilt so you can be whole before starting out on the path of sexual self discovery. Sex is a powerful gift that has been given to human beings to experience the joy of heaven while still in a physical body. The orgasm itself has been called the "vibration from  Home".  It was given to us to enjoy, not just to produce children as the churches say. We know that because the female clitoris has no other function than pleasure, according to science. If it were true that females were ONLY made to reproduce for men, and gave men the pleasure only, why would there be a clitoris in a woman?
 
To enjoy the sensations and pleasures of the gods, as we were made in their image, then we need to start behaving god-like and goddess-like, meaning with beauty, grace, dignity, love-filled and joy-filled. True, there are schools of thought that steer us up to thee lofty regions but they also steer us away from our sexuality - and away from the richness that is possible to feel in our earthly bodies. Our juices are the physical manifestation of primal energy which flows like rivers through the spine, the heart, the blood, everywhere in the body. We can pour negative depraved thoughts into our that primal energy, which is neutral, or we can pour lofty thoughts of grace and love to elevate our sexual encounters.
 
In my opinion, sexuality is being redefined in these years. The lifestyle of swinging and swapping partners is merely a forerunner of what is to come. As the Earth shifts astrological signs from Pisces to Aquarius, begun in 2000, so are our bodies and minds shifting and changing. We are realigning with the feminine grace and gentleness. The masculinity in us - in women too - is changing and letting go of personal power and control to a greater power and greater control which is celestial. Cosmic in origin. Astrological signs are more easily readable as waves of love are coming in.
 
We are healing. Sex with love is healing. It opens gateways to the heavens within ourselves. We do have a heaven within. As we look at sex as sacred it does not require your partner to also look at sex as sacred. Your partner does not need to think like you do. This is an inner journey. You are only responsible for your own thoughts, feelings and actions.
 
Swinging is like grand-central station, many people coming and going from different places, different cultures with different belief systems. Some are negative, some positive, some neutral and just colorful. Some are weird and dangerous. The only way to make swinging beautiful and good for you, the only way to protect yourself, is to magnify the positive. Own your own thoughts and feelings and strengthen them with love. Don't be sucked into losing your power to someone else by doing things you don't want to do, or perhaps prematurely before you are ready, which make you unhappy. Own yourself and your feelings and speak them out loud. Be authentic and true to yourself. Be in the energy of love inside of yourself, in your mind and your heart, and you can't go wrong because you will be unable to hurt others or pressure them or control them when love is present within.  Then you will be free and enjoy the freedom to love, and the love of freedom.
 
Be aware of the WHOLE person, not just the physical person. Be aware of the limitations of this person, their boundaries and their fears - and love them regardless. Love them  back into wholeness again. We are all fragmented, every single one of us. We wouldn't be earth-bound if we were truly free.  But our work is to GET whole by taking the wholesome role of caring, intelligence, consideration, empathy - all of the words that we would call good. These are the high ideals we are here to manifest in our lives and behavior. We improve ourselves as we do. We can do this as whether we are in a monogamous committed relationship or experimenting with the lifestyle of swinging. We can change a smothering unhappy relationship at home, into a refreshing, loving encounter at home, by applying some of these beautiful and graceful methods. These are the moral principles that religions use to guide us, but they are also applicable in sexual encounters too - and in every situation you can think of: politics, business, neighbor relations, social projects, art, music, science, whatever and wherever. By taking focus off of the form and the goal, and putting focus on considered thought and feeling, we can change the world in which we live and move and raise our families. The form is not important; the energy we put into the form is.
 
Sex the way most of us do it is rather unconscious. When we are young we let our hormones lead us. As we grow older we follow the same behavior and wonder why we don't enjoy it so much.  Many people never get the change to let their hormones lead but are abused when young, shutting them down.  Then we become powerless to speak true for ourselves. Instead we allow our bodies to be used as victim or subservient. It's all due to unresolved issues of past lives which feed us, prompt us, remind us that there are issues we HAVE TO CHANGE.
 
Our earth bodies are animal bodies. We are spirit living in an animal body. As long as we are unaware that we are spirit living in an animal body, we will continue to be the victim or the abuser, one or the other, the way the animals are in the wild.  As we wake up to realize that we are a thinking, intelligent, celestial being, living in a body, and that we can CHANGE our life by changing our thought and bringing our power out into action, we are on the right track to a full and abundant life.  We have  the capacity to rise above it with our thoughts which in turn feed our feelings. Sex is the gift of the gods. It comes in three parts. Each part needs to be considered separately. The physical body, take good care of it, keep it active, feed it good foods, don't eat toxic food. (2) the subconscious, past life issues that keep popping up saying, "Look at me! Look at me!" (3) the mental body, the conscious mind. And (4) the feeling body, which is that part of you which feels and feeds you with impressions not able to be articulated. Pay attention to these perceptions because the feeling body is the pathway to the purity of spirit.
 
I have been studying sex first hand for a long time, actually for lifetimes. I have found that swinging is a first step out of the box. It reaches past many boundaries that formerly kept us locked into a prison. The journey is well underway to higher ground if we are participating in couples swinging.  Each individual steps outside the box of monogamy in his or her own time. It can't be rushed. But it is a sure sign of coming into the new age when a couple - a man and a woman together - agree to explore their sexuality with others with grace, dignity and respect if not love. It shows they have grown beyond ownership of each other. They have agreed on what behavior they will follow.
 
It is a sane and logical path for two people in a relationship. It is not jumping off a cliff to see what happens. They pre-plan it because they are growing beyond the first two chakras which are the animal chakras (survival and tribal). The first chakra is a powerful fight and flight energy needed in order to survive. The second is the tribal energy which gathers in tight family for ownership and protection. The third chakra is the awakening of personal identity. Personal power endows the growing soul with the knowledge that he or she can grow and evolve separate from the birth community. It is the beginning of reaching upward to higher ground, to evolve and become better and express what is growing within the heart and mind.
 
The majority of the population have been operating within the third chakra, which is the individual power energy, the "me" energy. We have been exploring ourselves in this energy for many lifetimes over the last 2000 years. We are now passing out of the third chakra and into the fourth chakra and into the Age of Aquarius, which is the heart. There is much to experiment with here, among which is the unifying energy of love, healing of factions, the ending of war and the dark forces of evil. Those who cannot go with the new flow of the heart will drop out naturally, one way or the other, as is inevitable when the tide turns because the ocean is bigger than individual ego. 


7/22/81 - How to avoid negative psychic experiences

How do we tune into enlightening and heightening psychic experiences and not the negative spooky kind? Consciousness is a light. That’s all it is, first, last and always. Your consciousness is a light, even though it is darkened now, it will become brighter as you remember who and what you are. Remember your capacities and your qualities, remember the whole thing. But for now your consciousness is like a flashlight beaming outward in the dark, and it illumines only that upon which you focus your beam. Everything else remains in darkness. So, if you read about spooky stories, think about the supernatural, or voodoo, or the sensational aspect of psychism – then this will be all that you see, all that will come to you. That is all you have illumined with your thought and your will. And whatever you dwell on will come to you. It is spiritual law. You attract it.
 
If you want to attract the higher things, think of them. Wonder about them. Feel the mystery and take wild guesses as to what it would be like to be “high”! Give yourself to it – yield to it, flow with it. Then you will receive more of that kind of thing. You will see those kinds of inspirational articles when you pick up the newspaper instead of the spooky kind. That level of goodness will strike out at you when you meet a new person, rather than his negative qualities. Wherever you shine your beam of light, there the world is illumined. It is illumined from within, it is seen from within, and from within you attract what comes to you. Your teachers abound all about you, but they stay hidden until you call them.


9/18/81 - The light in the pelvis

(This was channeled thru me after I learned that Rajneesh (aka Osho) had started a settlement in Antelope, Oregon, where he made splashing headlines across the country as a guru who gave positive spiritual teachings about sex. It was a powerful validation of my own newly awakened ever-present kundalini energies. I mailed it to Osho but never heard back.)

Hail to the Light
Oh, hail to the light in the pelvis!
Oh, hail to the light in the mind!
Oh, hail to the light in the cells in between
Throughout this body of mine.
 
Oh, hail to the light that is lucid,
The light all-knowing and wise,
The light that shines in the pelvis
From the throne in the heart in disguise.
 
Here in this tender region
I hail thee, oh light in man!
Here from thy fiery temple
Reveal thy wondrous plan!
 
Thou art a window open to the sky
Through which the light may come.
Now condensing here within
The heart of the pelvic bone.
 
Thou art focusing within the bowl
A crystal shape assume
Amongst the roots of the living tree
I see thy radiant form!
 
Oh, hail thou loveliest of jewels
A crystal diamond true!
Reflecting truth and radiant fire
The clearest, purest blue.
 
The spark is everywhere, I see!
A flood of golden light
Combining now with earth and flesh
To force thy Presence into Life.
 
Oh, hail to the light in the pelvis!
Oh, hail to the light in the mind!
Oh, hail to the light in the living cells
In the body of all Mankind.
 
Refine this inner brain and mind
This inner body pool,
That it may be your servant
And unresisting tool.
 
As one whole lamp aglow and lit
By the Presence of the Sun
Undivided here within,
Infinity is One. 


9/21/81 - Spontaneity is the supreme gift

Now, I am going to speak to you of spontaneity for the spirit of man is endowed with attributes that are unrecognizable today. These attributes are light, force, power, virtue, knowing, and they are combined chemically into one thing, into oneness. Only in spontaneity can you know these attributes as oneness, which is more true to the spirit of man. Only in spontaneity can you experience them. Only in flowing with the movement of the spirit can you truly become that which you are from the beginning of time.
 
You think spontaneity is disorder, but you are wrong. Within the action of spontaneity is a very great order, a discipline that you cannot begin to know or see. Nor will you know if you reject spontaneity from your life, if you keep yourself shut up in your little cave of artificial order, with your back to the light trying to comprehend what is in the darkness.
 
I am here to tell you about spontaneity, and I am here to tell you that what you think you see in your visions while in meditation is only a glimpse of the truth. It is like taking a book from the shelf and sitting down comfortably in the chair to read. And from the book you learn what it is all about. In meditation you learn what the spirit that sparkles within you is all about. You learn about it in a classroom so to speak, in the protection and safety of your meditation parlor, in the security of safe vibrations. You depend on these safe vibrations, do you not? To allow the visions to come?
 
Well, then, this is a theoretical learning about the spirit. All meditation techniques are like kindergarten to the twelfth grade in your school system. It is book learning. I am not putting this down, for it is important to prepare you for what is to come. But understand that you are not experts in the spirit because you have seen vision or known bliss. Now, you, as men of God, must go out into the world that he has created for himself to enjoy, and allow him to enjoy it! For he breathes and lusts with passion in your breasts. He wants to live! He wants to speak! He wants to move among his people, to pat the animals, to speak to the plants! He is full of power and passion to love his creation - his very own creation - and you are He.
 
His spirit is spontaneity. His spirit lives and breathes with your moods of up and down. His spirit sinks sometimes into hell because that, too, is part of his creation. His spirit soars into the heavens because that, too, is his creation. His spirit laughs, sings, loves, plays, thinks, absorbs, and gives never ceasing. Never stopping. He never sleeps. As you sleep he is still awake enjoying the wonders of his creation. The cells in his body must sleep for the flesh gets tired, but he has created other realms to play in while his body sleeps.
 
How does spontaneity affect you? Let us discuss you, for you are the body of this wondrous spirit that breathes and wants and desires. Let us slow down for a moment and see where you are. You have become falsely indoctrinated in the ways of a false world. You have been told to act this way or that way, so that you may be accepted. You have been taught at home that only certain actions are proper and that other actions are sin. You have been taught in school that only certain actions are acceptable in school and that other actions are not. And so you have been trained just like you train a pet to obey his master's commands. You live in a very shallow world.
 
Where is there room for spontaneity? Where is the breathing space for the spirit? You must make the room for it, within your tight and narrow world. You must learn to make room for spontaneity. This I cannot tell you how, but I tell you that you must make room for the breathing of the spirit.
 
Perhaps you may take an hour off from your busy schedules in your tight world. Then go and move where your spirit takes you. Do not substitute an hour of tightly scheduled meditation, for a tightly scheduled life. This will not open your center but rather keep it still closed. Your heart is at the root of your being. Your heart is what you call "gut feeling". Your heart is primitive, instinctive, passionate for life, sensitive for spirit and life. Go back to your heart and move with its breath. Enter your heart - your gut feeling - and move with its ebb and flow. Step over the threshold for an hour, if that is how long you have allowed yourself, and soar with the ancient throb of infinity - the One that lives within you - waiting, waiting, for you to turn around and join him.
 
No man alive can tell you what to do. No man alive or dead for you are spirit. You are the eternal One that burns with desire and wants for a better world. You are the one who aches to feel, to speak His noble thoughts, His ancient dreams, His exploding visions. Your highest meditation is when you are moving on your feet, though not of your own power. When spontaneity has lifted you into its powerful thrust and you have willed to go, when you flow with spontaneity you enter the heart of order. When you flow with spontaneity you enter the timeless Now. When you flow with spontaneity you will yourself to a greater intelligence than your own and one who knows better than you. When you flow with spontaneity you enter the passion of God.
 
You have been taught differently, I know, so you may doubt my word. Do not take my word blindly. Never take anyone's word blindly but test it. Try it. Feel it out. Is it so? How can you know without trying it? Without daring to prove me false?
 
In all that I say in the coming weeks, it will revolve around spontaneity like little planets and little satellites revolve around the sun, magnetically attracted to that ball of life unable to separate and go alone, so I will  keep coming back to spontaneity for I have seen its power. I have tasted of its goodness and I have smelled of its presence, and I have seen its wonder in the light. I have known its beauty, its loveliness and its virtue. There is no evil that can persist in the heat of spontaneity. There is no wrong doing that can live in the light of spontaneous action for a wrong act is a separate act, not big enough to stand alone. You may trust spontaneity with your consciousness, but do not trust it blindly.
 
Wake up from your long sleep and see the beauty of this larger order that beats to a rhythm not your own. Watch it for a while and try to get in step. It belongs to no man, no woman, no authority, no monopoly, it belongs to no nation, no world, no galaxy, but it is the heart throb of infinity itself. And it beats in the pulse of gut feelings, beyond the sight of your neighbor and your family, but not beyond the sight of you! You know, perhaps not fully, but you sense it from time to time. Watch for these moods when the spirit speaks to you, beckoning you to follow it for a short span of time. It does not want to disrupt your life for it has created your life up to now. It does not want to disturb your little order, it wants you to expand your orderliness. Become conscious of your gut feelings, become conscious of your breathing, become conscious of your loves and hates, become conscious of how you live. Thus you will wake up. Thus will you learn about the power that burns in your heart within your primal roots - that of the ancient One.
 
You think you must meditate? Go and meditate but do it consciously. You think you must do your housework? Go and do your housework, but know what you are doing. You think you must have a party? Then go and have a party, but watch your actions. You think you must change something on your job? Then, go and change what you feel you must. But do it consciously. Wake up to your life. You need not change, you need wake up. Become conscious of your actions, know what you do and why. Know your Self.
 
And where do you pray? Do you pray to someplace in the top of your head? Or to somewhere within your breast? Or someplace inside your brain? Or someplace in the sky? Where? Where do you focus your attention when you pray to this infinite One? Do you know where he is, this ancient fire of life? He burns brightly within the one place you have never thought to look. He burns with passion and warmth, with love and tenderness, with clarity and vision, with knowledge and lust, with heart-breaking desire for goodness for all mankind, with compassion, with empathy, with contentment, and with unshakeable peace, with untouchable serenity, with unmoving masterful control at the very core. Do you know where such flame burns?
 
It burns in the bowels where gut feeling throbs. It burns in the center of being. How could it be in any other place but in the center, the heart of form? You have not dared to look. You have succumbed to the concept of sin and not dared to look. Yet, here it is, and here it shall always be, protected by the veil of illusion of sin. The pelvic bowl is the bowl of life, the chalice in which burns the flame. The pelvic bone is the holy place where the passion for life burns on. When you succumb to the greater spontaneity in your breast, you will see.


9/26/81 - The exquisite deliciousness of the human body

When I speak of consciousness I mean YOU as a human being and your human consciousness. This is not abstract! Consciousness is not a force. Thought and other things are forces. But consciousness doesn’t move. Consciousness doesn’t have energy. Consciousness is behind energy. Consciousness is what begins thought. It begins it by focusing its awareness, or realizing. Consciousness creates forces or energy by becoming conscious of itself, otherwise consciousness is without that realization, content within its wholeness. Consciousness is moving the people and the worlds and the galaxies because it has awakened to consciousness. It has thus separated itself [from the wholeness] by waking up into realizations which are really frequencies, like an element quite different from the elements we know. It is seen as a crystal or a rainbow or a magnetic vortex of life swirling in place and creating a field around it. I have seen this many times, through the light inside my mind.
 
But consciousness is not a force. I – that which is conscious of being I – is not a force. Because I have entered into this body I have identified for a little while with it, but I live here only temporarily. I – the conscious I – will disengage as it has done in the past and allow the physical substance to fall away, allow the substance and energy of thought to fall away, allow the substance and force of the emotions I created to fall away, and in its place I shall be free and the same as I always have been, richer for my experiences, more fully comprehending what I am. This consciousness is lovely! I am me! I am in love with life for I know that life shall never go away, it always is here, enlightened by my awakening to who I am. This I is not a person. This I is not a feeling. This I is not a thought. This I is not anything mental. This I cannot be destroyed. This I cannot be moved. This I cannot be reduced. This I is the most imperishable of all that can be known. It is immovable, Imperishable, undying, unchanging. And it is the same I that is conscious in you, fooled into thinking that you are different from me.
 
This I is the observer that Krishnamurti speaks of.
This I is the jewel in the lotus in the Upanishads.
This I is the God of formal religion.
This I is the Father of the Christ.
This I is the Over-soul of Emerson.
 
This I is the Self without the trappings of body, clothing, prejudices, preconceptions, expectations, hopes, wishes, wants, hangups, hates, fears, jealousies, fantasies, greeds, appetites, possessions, and human love, human sacrifice, human martyrdom. Yet this I uses all of these to enjoy itself.
 
This I, in the process of becoming conscious, closes up the cracks in its makup. It is soft, shallow and unconscious of itself at first. But in the process of waking up one assumes the physical form – the highest form there is in which to wake up. The highest because it is the toughest. The highest because it is the lowest. The highest because it is the final test, to know oneself in human form. Now in human form one lifts himself, little by little up and pulls himself above the seething, rolling sea of mass humanity, by becoming conscious of his acts.
 
He closes the weaknesses in his personality. He sews up the holes in his psychic garment. He suffers the bangings from outside circumstances until he wakes up and says, “Ah HA! This shall never happen to me again, I shall see to that!” And he sews up the gaping hole in his trousers. He becomes more aware. He becomes more alert. He becomes more wise. He becomes more whole. He bcomes more conscious of himself, for he must watch out for himself. He is responsible for himself.
 
This is growth. This is pruning back the long, spindly arms of the wild and ignorant man growing in the jungle, to nurture his refinement and cultivation. Within the light in my mind I see the strengthening of the frequencies as a crystallization. The focusing of consciousness into oneself, body and mind and self. The strength is unbelievable. There is power beyond imagining when this is done. The mastery of the body’s unconscious appetites, and unconscious habits, is a refinement that allows untold pleasure and sensual experience. Mastering of the body is not giving up sensory pleasure – it is refining sensory pleasure to a delicate, exquisite art, worthy of the noblest son of God. The beauty and exquisite deliciousness that comes from focused consciousness increases the sensory pleasures a thousand times. What fools we mortals be to think we must put these lovely pleasures aside! We must wake up and learn and feel and enjoy and refine ourselves. The God in you has only just begun to enjoy Himself!


12/10/81 - Awakening kundalini has nothing to do with mind or body

The awakening of the kundalini has nothing to do with mind or body, or how you discipline yourself or your thought patterns. It has to do with the soul, that quiet part in your core who changes his direction. Soul growth is a very transcendental part of you. Little problems never affect the soul. Deep problems may affect it or may not. The traumas affect the soul. That forces God realizations. Traumas bring lessons to the soul. A calm and masterful person is closer to the soul so it can make changes easier, but the average man and woman today…. ?
 
Now! When the soul reaches an awareness potency it is ready to materialize, but the body is often not ready. The body must be ready for the soul to materialize. The body must not have too many psychological blocks in the way, or distortions imprinted on it, or too much resistance barricading the doors. These are only surface matters and surface problems of this life, it’s true, but a heavy surface body will prevent the soul from coming through. It will not do. No matter how advanced and potent the soul is, it’s too thick an exterior for the soul to radiate through undistorted. The nerve core of that distorted body must be reached and connected for the kundalini to appear. It requires a divine connection. [My personality seeps thru here to speak up:] I allowed my body to become freer and freer. Bob helped me to become free. I had melted away a lot of resistance and my body was very free – sexually free, uninhibited and unbarricaded. It was all open. I was used to being free.
 
Those who are in the sky want spontaneity, but spontaneity in this case is having someone else come along and blow on them! They then fly in that direction. True spontaneity is acting out of a positive choice. Taking positive action is a bird coming out of the sky, but first choosing where it wants to land. “There is the rock I want to land on!” it says before it zooms down, losing his perspective in the process. You lose your connection with the sky as soon as you land, but if you are a master of your life you can go back out again any time you want to, when you’re not busy.
 

12/11/81 - The science of using the word - creating a pathway

To the extent that you proselytize, to that extent you are still a seeker – laying your expectations on others. Widen yourself! Trust that your listener is listening and comparing your presentation to their own proven foundation secretly, inside.
 
All evil exists as an offering to the light – the greater existence behind man. Mentally image yourself holding the evil as you see it, in the palms of your hands and up to the sky, as a sacrifice to the light. Retain this image for an hour, even as you move about. This is the basis for all transformation. This is the key to change.
 
The power of words is the power to manifest the greater power behind you. The power contained in prayers, mantras and invocations, is the power of the word, spoken. There is a great secret contained in speaking a word. It is calling upon all the accumulated energy that ever was used by all people over the history of the word. The science of the “word” is finding the fewest words possible. Don’t dilute the power by too many words. Find the fewest words possible. But find those with the highest explosive force that best suits your desire. Then use those words in combination – your own combination – so that they fairly explode into the atmosphere, to set the air molecules to vibrating at the speed you have chosen. The result is an aligning of those air molecules to fit your needs. They will create an open pathway, each air molecule, each atom, each electron, polarizing itself directly to you and creating a path to the thing that you desire to accomplish. Over this pathway, which is a genuine road carved out of the air around you, will flow the thing you desire as water flows through a pipe from its underground source to another place. There is a very great power in this science of using the WORD. Don’t mis-use it, because it will call back to you what you send out.
 
The inner life becomes paramount only when the outer life has been mastered. Like the loyal worker, we start at the bottom and work upward. In esoteric terms we start at the outer and work inward. Step by step we work inward, as we prove and overcome problems through the application of intelligence, reason and choice, without creating further problems.  Through the application of wisdom and tact we learn to master the awkward situations and overcome them. Once we have proven that we can do this to our own personal satisfaction, then we move on without looking back – which often creates a “tearing” sensation as we pull ourselves loose of old situations. But we move on according to our growth, as a child outgrows last year’s shoes. Step by step we work inward, through increasingly more refined layers of resistance until at last – ‘til at last! – we reach the heart of life. That place of serenity and beauty that transcends all description, and here we may rest forever free of encumbrances for we will have learned the secret of mastering the elements that surround us.
                                                           

12/13/81 - The power of affirmation

The power of the affirmation is the process of the Word becoming flesh. If you can say it then it is the processing of coming into form, in flesh. I see it flying in light spaces of blue-white light – always light – it wants to come into flesh, into form. It’s crystal. That is, alive! All religions are attempts of the author, the channel, to define, to bring into flesh their revelations. They are preoccupied to define it rightly. Their motives were not to proselytize but to define. They are happy, poor as they may be in the end, if they have defined it. 
 
The human body is a conductor of energy. That energy coming into the body is the soul. As each of the divine faculties is understood (one for each chakra in the body) and worked with and mastered, the body of that chakra (dimension of that chakra) is opened to admit the individual, opened to integrate the individual. The crown chakra contains the ability to think and reason without effort, without finite ends, without ego or the little self. The throat chakra contains the ability to affirm and define the word without effort from the little ego. Move the combined energy of spirit and soul together (father and son).
 
Soul is golden, spirit white, crystal light. Soul is that which is aware. It has mystical experiences once in awhile higher than its normal plane, and lower experiences in order to learn and grow. Soul is the person that is aware of itself as a separate being, anchored in the reproductive organs because it has to master physical reproduction and sex. When it does, it becomes free of rebirth or starts the process of transmuting the body into something higher. This is the self which is aware of itself and its growth as a separate self.
 
Spirit is that pure fire, molten, electric fire that is anchored to the base of the spine called God or Father or Mother. It pours impulses into the body. This doesn’t have awareness of “self”. It is straight from the Godhead and knows only the whole. It has no awareness of self as separation. It feeds all alike. When man aligns himself with it in the reproductive area he can only do it by mastering sex, aka the foundation in matter. Then he aligns himself with the window, the anchoring spot of the impersonal energy – the spirit. Thus the self that has awareness of itself as separate, mingles with the electrifying energy of God and it is through this marriage that the man who is separate can become one with God – the arousal of kundalini. 


1/2/82 - The divine circuitry embedded in the human being

There is a circuitry embedded into the human being that is an actual piece of God, the infinite and supreme intelligence, love and mercy. One is not created by God, one IS literally God. But, because no one has ever taught the child that this is so, or how to reject the non-God substance that clings to him from the first moment of physical life, one becomes buried inside the dead layers of left-over negativity. Memory of one’s radiant God consciousness becomes dulled and soon lost within the heaviness of physical life. And the land of living light out of which you came of infinite love and reasoning is but a dim instinct towards “good”.
 
I am here to tell you about that which you are in truth – not the outer you which you already know – that’s merely a temporary condition that you have taken upon yourself because you failed to get rid of it, but the real you which you do not understand.  You hold an instinctive pull in the direction of the real you, but the loud cries from the outside world pull you away from it. This instinct is the urge for justice, for truth, for straight-forwardness, for mercy, for tolerance, for love, and it is this same instinct that makes you want to impose disciplines on yourself when you need them, and to take those disciplines off of yourself when you don’t need them anymore when the job is done. It is the instinct to eat proper food, different food, and the instinct to relocate yourself from one part of the country to another. And on and on this something inside of you urges you on, pushes you gently to do things you don’t want to do. This is the real you as opposed to the surface you. It is the power circuitry of God which is part of an infinite network, a delicate microscopic electronic network which interpenetrates all of life’s organisms, and all minds, from man to microbe, from planet to moons to suns to whole galaxies and makes the quantum leap from one dimension to another in a single flow of thought, defying the physical boundaries that segregate both worlds.
 
All worlds are physical in the sense that all worlds operate within forms. But the next world beyond this is of lesser density than ours and so we cannot see it. And the next world beyond that is even less dense than that and so they cannot see it. And so on and on. Life manifests on a scale of density, or octaves of frequency if you will. When you follow your inner circuitry of instruction, those urges which we call intuition, you cannot harm another living thing because the mind behind your life is tuned to an exquisitely fine degree, providing for all of life equally. The mind behind life does not respect one portion of itself over another, but is equally concerned with all of its parts. For all of its parts create this one mind itself. There can be no mistake when you follow the guidance of the urge behind intuition. The only mistake is made when you impose your own thoughts upon it. Our job is to learn how to follow it in its pure form, without modifying it, without imposing our qualifications upon it. These are called the natural laws when applied to the physical world, and they are called cosmic laws when applied to the mind.
 
The outer world is transient. The outer body is in a state of reflecting the inner understanding. Each time a new understanding happens, a change takes place in the physical outer world, reflecting that clarification of idea. And since understanding is changing all of the time, the outer physical body and world is changing constantly. The old body is being torn down by the second, and the new body is coming into existence. Old cities are being torn down by the day, and new cities are emerging from beneath the rubble. There is not a second when the outer physical world stops changing, never a moment when the outer world and the outer body is stagnant. It is all moving, churning, decaying, giving birth while the life intelligence, the life force behind it all, remains the same. It is the only constant. And that constant is the real you. You are in the process of waking up through your changing understanding.

You are slowly lifting your closed eyelids to perceive the world of your real nature. You are being educated in the nature of life, yourself, and your problems. Your new and exciting ventures, are all part of your education. You are slowly evolving into a brighter, more astute mind, and you are slowly assuming responsibility for being the intelligence behind your mind - the infinite intelligence that is a portion of God. You are God. That infinite, all-wise intelligence wanted to experience what it was like to live confined to a form, and that form is you and me and our friends and spouses, and all the other organisms around us, ad infinitum.
 

1/3/82 - The power behind the 7 veils

The number seven is a number found often in holy scriptures. Many people think of it as a mystical number containing a great mystery, which it is to those unawakened individuals - unawakened to the realities of spirit and the qualities of their own innate nature. There are seven major energy centers in the human being, not in the physical body but in the BEING of man and woman. It is a mistake to think that these centers are limited to physical locations in the body, or that they can be aroused through the use of physical disciplines or mental disciplines, for they are qualities of character, not physical or mental things. They are noble qualities that need to be awakened and until they are kindled into flame and service for the good of mankind as a whole, these centers remain covered by veils of negative magnetic particles.
 
These seven characteristics when awakened by noble acts and thoughts serve to burn through the heavy layers of confusion and manmade errors that shroud the radiant spirit within, and enables him to see more clearly. The shedding of the veils is the life work of every human being, and he must do it all alone. There are no crutches. The true meaning of the number seven can be understood better when viewed in the following light.
 
There are seven bodies of man. The physical is the heaviest, the astral, the mental, the etheric, the soul, the spirit, and the ultimate union with cosmic reality, or God. Each body operates at a different frequency, at a different cyclical octave, and man in his ignorance is a slave to these seven bodies, unaware of what he is doing with them. When he feeds his body he is giving energy into his physical body; when he allows himself to dwell in sadness he is giving energy into his emotional body. When he dwells in abstract thinking he is giving energy into his mental body. When he dwells on past memory he is giving energy into his etheric body or memory body. When he initiates an act of goodness to himself, what people call selfish, against the common thought of his fellow man and tradition, he is giving energy into his soul body. When he initiates an act of goodness for another person or group of persons for their sake, especially if such an act is opposed to the traditional thinking of society, he is giving energy into his spiritual body or his causal body, and this is where man lays up treasure in heaven, for he is creating a heavenly body that is as real and as solid in the higher spheres as our physical body is real in this sphere.
 
That takes care of six bodies, now to the seventh and the highest. The seventh body is not a separate or individual body. It is union with the power of life, the ultimate purity of good or God, and when a man reaches this state he no longer lives in this world, for his physical being becomes so filled with purity that it is no longer heavy enough to dwell in this world. There is a ritual involved with this act of ascending out of the physical plane that few people are aware of. Some people would appear to die a natural death, and the soul is never seen again on earth. But there have been a number of cases where the physical body was seen to be encompassed in a great white light and then disappear. Jesus was one of these. Elijah was also.
 
Awareness comes down in the form of energy from the highest body and passes through the six lower bodies in succession, bringing cosmic energy along with it. Man, through his free will then follows his instructions, fulfills the energy and sends it back again, hopefully back to the source from which it came. There is a constant flow of energy into man and a constant flow going out of man, just as he breathes but on a different octave. Man is no different than a light bulb with energy flowing through him to keep him alive and active. A bulb needs alternating current – a two-way flow – and man needs an alternating current, a two-way flow also. The only problem with mankind is that he doesn’t use his energy quite properly and it gets waylaid on the side. Instead of using the energy in a pure and wholesome way as it was intended to be used, he thinks wrongly, acts wrongly, and lays his own judgments upon the natural flow of impulses to do good. He wastes the energy by dwelling in the past in his memory, giving power to his etheric body and thus creating a veil that slowly builds over many lifetimes, and creates a powerful deterrent to his original holy self.
 
He dwells often in his emotions, such as sadness, confusion, anger, deep-seated involvements and creates a veil that slowly builds over many lifetimes a powerful emotional body (astral body) that deters his pure energy away and saps the life of radiance and happiness, and turns it aside into coarser avenues. Thus man has built up quite a number of heavy layers that bind him, pulls on him, influencing him to do even more wrong actions that will cause him to become even more deeply enmeshed in the heaviness of wrong actions. How do we get out? By understanding this. By attempting to do right actions instead of wrong ones, which will begin to dispel the coarseness and lighten the aura that surrounds him, to lift him up into more clarity.
 
According to the scriptures there are seven lampstands in the human body. It does not say that it is in the human body but it is; yet they remain unlit. Then an angel comes to light the seven lampstands. This is a parable that pertains to the seven layers that man must shed before he can assume his rightful place in the cosmos within the hosts of noble beings. According to the scriptures there are seven seals that must be broken, and along with each seal information is released that deals with the significance of breaking those seals. According to the scriptures form creation took seven days to create. This too is a parable that pertains to the seven successive layers that were molded over man. 


1/4/82 - The seven layers of consciousness

The seven bodies are the seven levels of being. The seven layers of consciousness include physical, emotional, mental, memory, self-consciousness, action consciousness and God consciousness. There is a physical consciousness, an emotional consciousness, a mental consciousness, a memory consciousness, a self-consciousness, a consciousness of one’s actions, and a God-consciousness in which the self-consciousness disappears.
 
In each of the seven bodies the God energies of the individual are being used a little differently. These energies are transmuted into higher energies during the evolution of the soul. The unfolding of consciousness is the actual evolutionary process - the coming into gradual God awareness of the self to ever finer and finer degrees of intelligence. It is said by the Eastern mystics that one must raise one’s body energy to the top of the head. I would like to revise this a little for it is not something one MUST do, but something that occurs when one is attempting to lift one’s sights to something higher. It is futile to try to raise the energies without knowing what it means or how to do it. It is, however, quite helpful to raise one’s attitudes and visions. And that is what is meant by raising the energy.
 
All of these levels of consciousness are affected differently when one begins to raise one’s vision or attitude toward oneself and one’s life. In the physical body the energy moves in the world of space from the sexual organs at the base of the spine through the spinal column to the top of the head. In the emotional body the energy moves in the dimension of feeling and emotion and shifts from the heavier forms of emotion such as anger, hate, sadness and depression to the lighter feelings of love, appreciation and adoration. In the memory body the energy moves in the dimension of time, from heavy past memories and future expectations to the lighter present here and now. In the mental body the energy moves in the world of abstract theory from rigid fixed ideas to lighter open-mindedness. In the self, the energy moves in the dimension of the self only, to the exclusion of others, and this energy moves from separation of self to unity of self with others. In the action body the energy moves in the world of cause and effect from wrong action to right action, from heaviness to light. The seventh body is God consciousness – the white fire core of the individual. This energy does not move but is stationary.
 
1/5/82 - How does man form out of God?

Because God in its pure state is motionless and at peace, it must cause dissension to happen somehow in order to bring about action. It does this by taking a portion of itself and throwing it out into the farthest reaches of space and immediately casting layers of density around it, to prevent its movement back to its original state. This is the creation of form matter. Form cannot happen without force and action. So now there is a greater light above the form still in its pure state, and a lesser light that is buried inside the form. The separation has occurred which creates man, or whatever form is needed. Inside the form there is a small portion of God  embedded which is striving to return to its original state of peace. What are the layers used to prevent the light from returning? They are progressively denser layers of the original peace. Each layer is a condensation of pure Godhood. Each subsequent layer is more compacted than the one before. The first condensation is called the causal body in the ancient wisdom. The second level of condensation is called the Christ body in the ancient wisdom. The third level of condensation is called the memory body. The fourth level of condensation is called the mental body. The fifth level is called the emotional body, and the sixth level is called the physical body. A man must work through each one of them and return to the pure God state called the ‘seventh heaven” in the ancient wisdom.
 
These are the seven bodies, or the seven veils cast over man. They are also the seven golden lampstands that must be lit by the individual himself. They are the meaning of the mystical number of seven which appears in every religious scripture. The ideal way of thinking of oneself in relation to God is a series of concentric circles with a pure radiant white light in the center which is motionless and at peace. As consciousness moves outward and away from peace and God, it loses some of that original spark of awareness and becomes duller and duller, causing resistance and thus creating forces that tug and pull. Each circle is a world in itself and individuals act out their awarenesses with each other in each one of these worlds. For instance, the mental world. Individuals who live in the mental world combat with each other abstract ideas, philosophies and principles without ever getting involved with emotions. The mental world is a world unto itself. It was created for that purpose.
 
The emotional world is the field of action for human beings to work out their feelings on. The physical world is the field of action for human beings to work out their ability to structure matter and work with matter. The memory body is the world of past memories. And there is movement in each world. The Christ body is the world of awareness of God action. The causal body is the world of awareness of what good one has done. All goodness goes to creating a body of light which in the end one must assume in order to reach the central Godhood and return to one’s original pure state. Remember, man was created through the force of separation. Separation is maintained through the spoken word and action. The return to God requires silence. Goodness is silent while evil speaks. Goodness is correct action versus wrong action.


1/18/82 - The human force obstructs the Light 

Energy is blocked LIGHT. The nature of Light is to be. But it can’t because something has gotten in the way. What has gotten in the way? A minor intelligence of its own, which thinks it knows better than the Light. Momentarily, this “something” has moved in to divert the flow into other avenues of expression. It does this for reasons known only to itself. It is an effort to promote itself and to learn and to experience. But it does so at the expense of something pure and refined and natural. This is a human being. He exists for himself, at the expense of the Light.
 
The result of the diversion of live impulses running through his mind and body is compression - and the build up of pockets of Light. But now they have become charged with an excess of thought and concern. Its original purity is darker now, less brilliant and less clear. As it remains dammed and blocked, it attracts other particles to itself by the sheer force of its power and magnetism – an overabundance of thought. Like attracts like and other thoughts in the air attach themselves like parasites to a living plant. The pool of muddied Light becomes darker still and lesser vortexes begin to swirl. The desire to promote itself increases, to try to overcome this uncomfortable pool of thought that it has inadvertently created all by itself, but now it finds itself unable to do so. This is human nature, versus the divine original nature that was given to the individual in the beginning. The question then becomes: how does one return to the original purity of life?
 
There are movements underway today which teach individuals how to use supercharged thought to overcome lesser charged thoughts in their lives. But I am here to point out that this is not the way back to the Light. This is the way of the psychics and witchcraft and occultism. For centuries the magicians and the priesthood have been using these methods to manipulate other people into doing what they believe are good for them, or perhaps to benefit themselves. Many claim that they do it for good, for God, for justice. But that is a weak argument for who is good in the end? Human nature and human judgment is less than perfect. Those who teach techniques to “move” their lives forward argue that everyone else is doing it and you must defend yourself. But there is another way. If a “good” thought is held firmly in mind for a length of time, how can the purity of the Light come through? It is blocked just as well by a “good” thought as by a “bad” thought. The nature of Light is to be, not to force. Light cannot force anything because it does not have any force built up anywhere with which to “change” anything. The Light cannot come into a world held tightly bound by lesser intelligences. Anything less than the Light is a block to the Light.
 
The only way that the Light can come into the world is through a mind put at rest, a mind and better still, a body which is at peace throughout. A mind and a body which does not resist anything, which is flexible and open, and bends with the breezes of life, willingly and gladly and by its own choice. The Light requires an open mind, a mind which does not judge by its own judgment, a mind which is clear and can see all the way to the horizon and beyond by the power of its inner sight. It requires a mind whose only motive is that the Light come through.
 
A practitioner of the Light is different from a practitioner of occultism or psychism because a practitioner of the Light does not impose his will. He opens himself instead, and steps back and invites the Light to use him as a channel for whatever purpose it deems necessary from its greater perspective, for he knows that his vision is limited to a very small portion of time and space. A practitioner of the Light practices this mental habit in the small things in life. He practices relinquishing control to a higher power. He may not know much about the higher power but he does not need to know. It is sufficient for him to know that there is a higher power. He becomes an instrument with no resistance in his mind, then willingly and of his own free choice he follows after the Light.
 
When he does this on a given occasion, his thought cuts deep into the heart of life, deep into the atmosphere on all levels, and rearranges the atoms and molecules, the subatomic structure of substance, and carves out an opening, a vacuum, a window in this heavy layer of psychic smog that sleeps upon the world. And from above it is seen as a call. A small sparkling pinpoint of light appears as a signal that an invitation has been given. It shoots out across the mansions of space like a beam of cosmic light, however small. And over this roadway paved with golden motives the Light moves down and into the world, like water in a bathtub down the drain when the plug has been pulled.
 
The greater intelligence of the Light, this cosmic entity known as God, then moves upon this world in ways no man can know. A practitioner who has overcome the pride of needing to direct the Light becomes a true and unobstructed channel then for its working, as it seeks to heal and unify and pull together the broken parts. Its ability to harmonize is beyond any logic known to man. Its system is not part of logic, nor reason. It is a system from out of another dimension and another realm, and instantaneous workings can happen in the twinkling of an eye when a channel is there, an open window in the heaviness of the world.
 
The practitioner who feels he must direct this “force”, which is not a force at all except when it enters the resistance area of mind, is an obstructor to this intelligence, this Light. It is only when it enters the pocket of willful determination that the otherwise free-flowing essence is no longer free to move around the world and it becomes a force to be reckoned with. This is the human force.


2/3/82 - Your only duty is to raise yourself

When the chakras are opened through the surge of God energy, one feels a fresh source of softness, tenderness, as if it were he, himself, who is rushing outward into the atmosphere surrounding him. It is he, himself, who is the god living within, long forgotten and unknown, unidentified over the years - yet little by little he comes to know himself and who he really is. The opening of the chakras are a release of his god self and he flows outward in innocence to mingle with the world of events and emotions swirling in the air around him. This is the first stage.
 
The second stage is learning how to mobilize these tender feelings to form a mastery. It is this stage that is colored with strong emotions that torment and suffer. One must first experience them and immediately upon recognition, pull himself together - up short - mobilize. The human scene is the playground in which individuals are all carrying out this education. It is the wise one who realizes that his lessons and sufferings are with himself and within himself and unattached to the sufferings of others.
 
The God which resides inside of you, on high, is waiting, trying to open his windows one by one to expose himself to this world - but he must do it little by little, one window at a time so that all of the concentration may be utilized in one area to master that one area before attempting the next. Time is not involved - for it may be done in the twinkling of an eye. What is involved is willingness to pull oneself together and assume the responsibility - the mastership.
 
Before you rise in spirit you must first reunite with this spirit, for it is the light from which you originally descended. This is the light of love which is the spirit of man. It is the light of happiness, and supreme ecstasy and bliss and self knowledge. It is the power behind your self. You are but a shadow of this light self, a shadow lying prone upon the ground in a one-dimensional world of physical matter. But as you raise your hopes, your vision, your understanding, you become absorbed once more into the light of this unlimited love which is the fire of your breath and your life.
 
Why is it so difficult, you may ask, for individuals to merge with the inner light of love? Why is it that more people don't succeed? The answer is simple, dear ones. Before you can reunite with the spirit of love and become as one with that pure love, you must first make your peace with this world, the world of matter, emotion and psychic manipulation. The problem is rejection which turns to hate and anger.
 
The problem is not understanding how to love and absorb the ugly into the light, to transform the features of ugliness. The problem is here, dear ones, in your ability to accept the ugliness, or rather, your lack of ability to accept. Your world is a mere reflection of the struggles going on in the hearts of the people who live in it. It should have no hold on you. You are free. You have no responsibility for the struggles of others. If you could but realize it, your only duty is to raise yourself. So begin to put your own life in order. Pull yourself together and make plans to organize your life.
 
How do you make peace with your world? Travel the road of education. Education in the ways of THIS world, not the next. You already know the ways of the spirit. This part is innate in you. What you DON'T know is the ways of the world nor do you understand the meaning of your struggles here. It is a problem of this world, not a problem of the next - the pure love energy that beats your heart.
 
The sea of universal energy is in reality a sea of love and everything we do, either adds to or subtracts from that universal storehouse. When we enhance the joy of life, whether in ourselves or in another through encouragement and recognition, we increase the reservoir of that energy. But every time we put someone down, including ourselves, we sap the energy from the ebullient sea of joy and allow it to drain away, losing a portion of ourselves in the process. No different than blood is wasted through an open wound. Each action that we perform, each thought and word we give out, shifts the balance of love energy allotted to the whole world, as our intentions permeate the sea of love intelligence in which we live, changing the balance in our account to a plus or a minus. Occult knowledge is knowledge pertaining to the right use of this love energy, which is all that is uplifting to the spirit of man, while the wrong use of love is all that pulls down, thwarts opportunity at every pass, discourages and connives to usurp the happy heart of man. Right use of energy comes down to us in our modern terminology as the word Righteous, which tells us that righteousness is not a moral act, but an act of efficiency and wisdom, conserving or adding to the store of energy which has been allotted to each human being to do with as he sees fit. He alone is responsible for his life and his destiny.
 
The power and energy of a consciously awake individual and spiritual master may jump across space and time and matter to another individual who is not yet awake. Such is the power of spiritual awareness. It is a light of profound ability which extends beyond the laws of cause and effect that we know. There is nothing through which it cannot penetrate. It can dissolve barriers of heavy negation, such as centuries of wrong doing. It can melt disbelief in an instant. It can restore limbs in the twinkling of an eye. It has no limits. When such a transmission is given to another, it is given as a gift, for it has not been generated from within but from without, from another person who has more than the one receiving. This is what is meant by the "grace of the guru", and upon such transmissions of spiritual energy which is, in reality, an awareness, has been built the entire structure of religious systems. From master to disciple who becomes a master to new disciples. From heart to heart the power is passed as from a father to a son, as a spark leaps from one live wire to another at the space of several millimeters.
 
However, this transmission may also be received without the help of a physical guru or master. It may be transmitted through the spiritual ethers from higher beings in more refined layers who are no longer present in the world., but who constitute the "heavenly hosts and angelic choirs". It is far more difficult to do it by oneself alone, for the grunginess of earth's atmosphere is like a sticky, clinging mud to the spirit of these individuals who must lead a life of involvement with the affairs of the world. In order to tap this source of power which is felt as love, one must learn how to reach up with one's entire being, instead of allowing oneself to continue to be dragged down. This is the only way to reach high enough into the spacious realms of refinement to touch the subtle glory of love and pull it down and out into the form of one's life and circumstance.
 
It is through conscious effort and will power to do good for oneself, to think good about oneself, and to worship the good that is in oneself, that one taps the higher powers. It is done through devotion to the highest in oneself. And to begin, one holds a steady, consistent attitude of reverence for one's own goodness, and begins to take action to amend the wrong that has been done to the sacredness of the inner heart of one's own self. If one cannot love oneself, then it is an impossibility to love another and do good to another. The task begins with oneself.
 
The light is you, dear ones, but you have yet to realize it and understand the concept of human nature which is a shadow of the real. When you say, "I am..." it is the light of love that speaks and everything that comes thereafter is a perversion of that love. You are (I Am) a representative of the light and you have become a poor representative of love if you do not allow it to come through in everything that you do, for this is your primary destiny, to shine like a hero at his height, like the white knight in shining armor out to save the world. But distortion comes from misuse of this love. You are love, but you do not live that love.
 
The light of love animates your every move, it is what thinks in your mind, it is what feels in your heart, it is what breathes in your lungs, it is everything that perceives in you from your cells to the hair on your head, everything that is active and moving. It does not know evil, it does not create evil. It is all good, all-knowing, all-wise, all-loving, all-powerful and it is everything that moves in you. But you do not realize it yet, you do not realize what you are in reality. And because you do not realize the goodness of your nature you hold it back, afraid that it is not sophisticated, not the way of the world. You do not allow it to express and thus you create the build-up of love energy that quickly turns to emotion-packed resentment for not being able to come through.

This build-up of resentment is only the beginning of the evil which plagues your life and circumstances. It is not really bad, dear ones, it is merely an excess of energy compacted into an unnatural package, stagnating like a barrel of rotten apples due to lack of proper circulation, and it is overloading your tender form with seething chaos. The more you hold back the precious gift of love, the more cut off from your inner feelings and intuition you become, and the power to express is taken from you, making it harder and harder to speak your heart and your true thoughts. The heavier grows your form as the veil of confusion thickens around you, shutting out the light of self knowledge and the freedom of expression which is your natural gift, and the light of the sun is diminished, trapped inside a heavy layer of darkness.


2/6/82 - The mother at the base of the spine
 
The mother, spoken of in occult literature, is in reality the physical body, whether it is the man or the woman. Both bodies are termed mother because it is the incubator for the living force that lies within it, in embryo form. Although this is largely unknown today by the vast majority of people, it is becoming more widely known. The fact that it is not recognized by science officially is at the root of the problem. However, science unofficially does recognize that there is SOMETHING that makes life go round, so to speak, that they cannot put their fingers on.
 
The Mother is the physical body, and in its womb, in the reproductive organs, is the mysterious life force which cannot be seen but can be felt in the throes of sexual heat, love and passion. The sexual drive is the most physical form of the life force. It does not become more physical than that which we feel through the passions of the lovemaking act.
 
The mother is the physical body, and in its womb is a great light which cannot be seen by physical eyes, but which can be seen by the inner vision as a pure shimmering crystal clear jewel. Its color to my vision is blue. Its color to others may be white, golden, or another color. The color it seems depends upon the individual’s fluctuating moods or perhaps what stage of life they are in. However it may appear, the life force can only be seen by one with inner vision.
 
Again, the mother is the physical body and in its womb in both man and woman is an embryo of life – a light which is barely breathing, barely kept alive, but alive it is else the body would not function. Alive it remains and in a sleeping dormant state, all through the individual’s life until – until that great day when it is stimulated to come alive and grow. This is the force at the base of the spine which we do not know very much about.
 
Occult literature refrains from speaking of it in open terms because it is the sex force, and since the sex force has always been deemed a taboo subject to speak of, it has remained hidden. But until the hidden is revealed, the mystery cannot be known. And it is to the sex force that we must look if we are going to understand the greatest enigma of human life.
 
The mother is the physical body and in the womb is the son which means the child or offspring of God [good], the little spark of purity which was separated from the father – that portion of God [good] which is individualized to serve a function in the overall sea of life.  The son cannot begin to grow until the mother has prepared the surroundings, the bed of nourishment in which the light – the son – can begin to expand and grow, no different than a seed bed must be prepared to nourish the tiny seed to the point of germination. This means that the individual must prepare his physical surroundings, the conditions in which he lives and works and socializes.

His physical body which includes his diet, his sleeping habits, his mental ability to master his emotions and his actions, his ability to maintain an even balance in his whole being and not just a portion of his being — all of this is involved. No one on the outside who is not trained can see whether an individual is properly prepared or not for the awakening. Thus it is difficult to find a teacher to tell you what to do. This is something one must do alone. One must prepare oneself alone, according to his own inner knowledge of his weaknesses and strengths. When one knows his own weakness, he begins to take measures to correct it and strengthen it. When one knows his own strengths, he begins to take measures to balance it so that it is not used out of proportion to the rest of him.
 
All of these things must come into balance with the individual in control as a master of oneself – ALL of oneself. And he must do this within the life he has – not by running away from it. If he runs away from the life he has, he will one day find himself right back in the same situation again, although with a different set of people and perhaps in a different city or state or country. Still he will find the same set of problems confronting him. A lot of time and energy will be saved if the person will begin to apply self-training, self-mastery and self-control upon himself now rather than later. The rewards are beyond measure, for enlightenment, control, abundance, love, and knowledge will all belong to that individual at the end of the road which is perhaps not very far away.
 
We are conditioned to think that it is beyond this life and so why worry? But this is not true. There are a great many individuals who are very, very close to the goal. This IS an enlightened race and an enlightened age. Many, many, many individuals are near to their objective if they would but apply some moderation and discipline to their body habits. As they do, they prepare the soil in which the seed of life is embedded and has been embedded from the time of conception. When the embryo light begins to grow, the sexual organs will be stimulated and a warmth as of love will be felt. This is the son stirring in the womb, and it happens to men as well as women. A human body is the physical bed in which the seed of the God-force is implanted, both man’s and woman’s. And when that person begins to prepare its body habits and its mental habits, according to that which it knows deep in its consciousness to be true – then the stirrings begin. No teachings are needed from the outside for the soul knows what to do. The soul speaks to the dimly lit mind through urges, impressions, feelings of intuition and through the inevitable classic signal: “I know!”
 
The mother – the earth body – must prepare for the coming of the son of God [good]. What that means in practical terms is that the body must prepare for the igniting of the God-force within the reproductive organs. [Known as kundalini in the eastern religion, also shakti or shekinah, also known as the holy spirit in the Christian religion.] This God-force was sent from the father and implanted in the body of the human at the time of conception. Only a small piece was separated from its parent (God) in order to manifest a body in the physical world. When that igniting takes place, a movement begins in the metabolism and nervous system of the person, which signifies that the individual is beginning to undergo a transformation.

This transformation affects the way the individual feels and perceives, the way one eats, thinks, speaks and acts. The mother – the earth body – must prepare for this igniting of the God-force, this coming forth of the son of God [good]. That means, not that the world will see Jesus the Christ again, but rather that the body has prepared itself sufficiently that the God-force ignites within the reproductive organs. This is where the light of God has resided in the body after being sent from the father source of infinite consciousness and implanted into the finite world of physicality to create a body in order to manifest in the physical world. This igniting begins the transformation and the beginning of the clearing up the spinal central column to the top of the head, the pineal gland and crown.
 

3/2/82 - The universal sea of love

The sea of universal energy is in reality a sea of love and everything we do either adds to or subtracts from that universal storehouse. When we enhance the joy of life, whether in ourselves or in another through encouragement and recognition, we increase the reservoir of that energy. But every time we put someone down, including ourselves, we sap the energy from the ebullient sea of joy and allow it to drain away, losing a portion of ourselves in the process. No different than blood is wasted through an open wound. Each action that we perform, each thought and word we give out, shifts the balance of love energy allotted to the whole world, as our intentions permeate the sea of love intelligence in which we live, changing the balance in our account to a plus or a minus. Occult knowledge is knowledge pertaining to the right use of this love energy, which is all that is uplifting to the spirit of man, while the wrong use of love is all that pulls down, thwarts opportunity at every pass, discourages and connives to usurp the happy heart of man. Right use of energy comes down to us in our modern terminology as the word Righteous, which tells us that righteousness is not a moral act, but an act of efficiency and wisdom, conserving or adding to the store of energy which has been allotted to each human being to do with as he sees fit. He alone is responsible for his life and his destiny.


3/4/82 - The seven veils of attachment

There are seven main veils of attachment that cover you, which must be shed before you become free and remember your divine origin and reawaken the powers that belong to you. The natural abilities of mental telepathy, of clairvoyance, of reading past lives and future events and trends, and the remarkable phenomena of suffusing the body with light and knowing. These seven veils are called bodies in the occult world. They are called chakras in the Hindu world. They are called the seven lamps that remain unlit in the Christian Bible. More recently it is referred to in the singular as the aura which must be cleaned and purged of all colors to become spotlessly white as a halo.
 
What are these veils? How do I begin to remove them? One of the heavy layers is attachment to emotions. As you let the emotions of others linger in your heart and eat away at your mind, whether it be sadness, injustice, depression, anger – it is all the same: an attachment to the world through the dark and oppressive avenue of suffering. Until you learn how to let go of all emotional suffering in your heart, you will not be able to feel the purity of the emotions of God – those pure and perfect glory-filled symphonies of joy that pulse through your being even now, yet veiled from you.
 
Another of the layers is attachment to your sexual values – morals in other words – whether you are for it or against it, if you let thoughts of sex linger and grow out of all proportion to a spontaneous life, until you learn how to make love with the freedom of a child-like innocence, then you will not be able to perceive the truth of the soul’s union with its divine counterpart.
 
Still another layer of heaviness is the misunderstanding about love and what love should be. Love is the greatest force in the universe, yet you possess what you love and reject what you don’t love. Until you learn how to let the object of your love go free, you will not be able to perceive the unlimited capacity of God’s love and his desire for fulfillment, joy and abundance for all of his children and creations.
 
The attachment to talk unceasingly, whether constructive or not, puts discordant veils over all things great and small. As you worry about what to say, and as you talk without constructive energy behind it, these create a veil. Until you learn to lend your voice to constructive thoughts and good will to all men, you will not be able to perceive the greater destiny for mankind here on Earth, and you will remain an instrument of confusion rather than light.
 
The attachment to psyhic powers is one of the darkest veils of all. The occult, the workings of the supernatural, of telepathy, of clairvoyant powers should neither cause you thoughts of fear, or thoughts of desire for more. For in either case you cast heavy shadows over your light. The occult is the many experimentations of who see, who are beginning to understand that there is a spiritual law that affects their lives. As they begin to see, they try this and that to see what affect it has on them and on other people. And they are apt to become obsessed with the remarkable results. If they are not evolved in their capacity for mercy and love, they become powerful generators of confusion as they unleash their aggressive thoughts on others, and the layer becomes dark and gloomy from wrong motives and wrong actions. Until you can accept the spontaneous unfolding of such powers as natural and good and allow them to come and go freely, in the spontaneous flowing of universal action out of your deeper self, then you will not be able to achieve the ultimate power of all: the transformation of your lesser self into the light of godhood.
 
Another heavy layer of darkness that filters down the light is the attachment to the physical mind, the intellect. You listen only to what your senses tell you, what your eyes see you believe, what your ears hear you believe. What your fingers touch you believe. What your nose smells and your tongue tastes, you believe, while all else is suspect. This attachment to the five senses is the strongest attachment of all for it binds you to the physical world and little else. Until you recognize there are other realities that are just as real, until you give them as much respect as you give your five senses, such as imagination, intention, love, justice, harmony and turmoil in the air, then you will not be able to perceive the omniscient intelligence of God, who cares for all of his creation and yearns to make each one a co-creator along with him.
 
Another layer of darkness that shields the memory of the light from your mind is your attachment to the physical body.  This is the coarsest layer of all. As you let thoughts pertaining to your physical body and your physical discomfort linger and grow, inhibiting free expression of the light within, your discomfort can only increase. Until you learn to let go of your concern over your body and your physical entrapments, the healthy flow of light and life cannot take place and reveal to you the magnificence of the mystical realities of cosmic light and power and love. The ultimate use of the physical body is a spontaneous movement from within outward, revealing the truth of the hidden heart, the glory and the purpose.
 
Messages come from two sources, each operating independently of the other, yet both types of messages make their mark on your conscious mind. One system of messages are governing your physical world and your physical body. The other system of messages are governing the growth of the real you – the you who feels needs deep down inside. These two forces pull upon  you like wild creatures in a forest, ready to tear you apart. Meditation is the process of sorting these forces out, which ones come from your Self and which ones are merely echoes reverberating down the hallways of your being from the world outside. If you practice the silent art of meditating often, not giving up, you will begin to see patterns emerge that reveal the truth. From the vantage point of stillness you will begin to detect the source of the storms and thus begin the process of taking control of your life.
 
During meditation you will discover the difference between the energy from the other people, and the energy from yourself, as both energies move simultaneously through your body and mind. Each gives off different sounds, different vibrations, different aromas. The world of energy is heavy and involved. The soul is light and free, happy and uninvolved.  Both are anchored in the same region, in the pelvic bowl near the sexual organs. So, to awaken the soul is to awaken the body to the fires of passion. If you continue to maintain your silent practice you will learn that they can be integrated, these two, from the beginning. Don’t separate them as so many people try to do, unnaturally. Sexual energy IS soul energy awakened to the body.
 
Soul energy seeks expression in the body through sexual balance. It is ironic that while meditation travels the road of non-attachment to physical things, yet all the while it leads you back to your own humanness, and to a better knowledge of how to use your physical body with greater finesse and with the deft skill of a master perfecting his art – the art of being human with a divine soul. We are here to learn these things, not to be dictated to nor conditioned to obey the whims of the masses.
 
We don’t want to separate the soul from the body. We are living in a body. We must not throw it away. We must understand the body and its needs so that we can make it healthy and balanced. We must learn how to operate it, as we must learn how to operate an automobile and maintain it in good working condition. Meditation is not removing ourselves from the world. It is learning how to live in the world. We are spirits already. We are spiritually complete right now. We do not need to become more spiritual. We need to EXPRESS our spirituality, this purity of soul in physical form, awake and alive and full of the vibrancy of health and spontaneous, child-like joy for adventure and action of goodwill towards all life. Only then can we transform our world from one of confusion to one of light and beauty and rich and flavorful colors and tastes.


3/16/82 - There are two kinds of energy 

There are two kinds of energy. One is a spontaneous love for life which springs out of a love for God. This one is full of hope and springs out of bed in love. The other is a tense energy. This is the pure energy of the first kind that has been allowed to be held back, thus it is dirtied and full of the individual’s emotional discharges. It is jerky, unreasonable, uncontrollable, because it has been compressed. It is not a healthy energy and leads to disease in the body and eventually death.
 
I’m not going to teach you how to meditate. I’m going to teach you how to live spontaneously as a young god should, using his love for life freely instead of holding it back. Then you won’t need to meditate. Your life will be an ongoing meditation, following the will of your God. The pure and innocent energy is always flowing through you. When you sleep, when you wake, when you are depressed, when you fight, when you talk, when you eat, when you walk, when you work. it never ever stops. It breathes through you giving you life. If you hold it back it gets compressed. Learn to breathe it out as freely as you breathe it in. Keep it pure. Beauty and perpetual youth is the direct result of freedom from entanglement. Freedom from emotional resistance. And freedom from mental objections. Beauty and youth are the result of love for life and the eager acceptance of all situations that come along.

There are six other centers that must be opened before the God-energy is yours. And in each of the six, you must become the controller, not let the newly released energy control you. You control the emotion, the emotion does not control you. You control the sex, the sex does not control you. You control your love, your love does not control you. You control your voice, your voice does not control you. You control your psychic ability to see the truth, your psychic ability does not control you. You control your intellect, your intellect does not control you. Then you will be the master of your body.
 
The body movements you do [referring to my kriyas] is the God-energy flowing through the body to balance the body with the environment outside. This slows down the explosive growth. Releases the high-level energy so it does not hurt inside. Integration is an important aspect of growth. Growth and integrate. Growth and blend with the whole. Grow and incorporate your growth into life. Grow and assimilate. Grow and help society to grow along with you. Otherwise you will burst upward in an explosive rate of speed and quickly be out of reach of the common man and woman who live around you. They will not understand. Hitler turned fanatic.

It is the safer route to let a young god grow in disguise in his society until he is the master of his life. His beauty will be seen but not touted. His ability will grow to be accepted as something from within the society.
The young god will be accepted instead of rejected as super-normal and different. God talks to you through friends, husband, wife, children. I'll show you how. This is important to understand how to unfold from within, rather than rely on outside changes. You change your Self from within.
 

4/17/82 - Sunlit magnificence (a personal vision)

Last night the presence came again, after fifteen months. Fifteen months during which I lost count the number of times I crumbled my writings into a ball and threw them into the wastebasket to stare hopelessly out the window at the ever changing colors in the air around me, oblivious to my frustrated attempts. 
 
How does one explain the splendor of the sun? How does one name that which has no name? Where does one find the temerity - the audacity - to attempt to fit that celestial brilliance into the rigid casing of the English language where it must conform to human logic? For fifteen months I tried. I have been trying to create a helpful program of instruction to suit the times. There are so many people who want to know about meditation and the long lost powers of a race of gods now disguised in flesh. I could tell them. For fifteen months I have examined my task from every perspective imaginable. I have built it up and I have honed it down so that the simplest minds could understand. I have colored it with the truth that is stranger than fiction and I have filled it out with the meat of the practical mind. I have written it and revised it, again and again and again. And each time I have thrown it away. I have tried to explain the nature of that which cannot be explained. I have tried to fit the immortal into a mortal format, and for the last fifteen months the presence has not come, neither in the day nor in the night as it used to. Its absence seems to say, “Go ahead! Chisel it down to human size if you want but the fires of vision will not support you, nor will the majesty that you once knew visit you during such miniscule efforts!”
 
Finally I have been forced to admit to that which I once knew but had conveniently forgot. That which touches my inner heart from time to time, does so at the whim of a law not my own. That which illumines my inner eye is a light of a type unknown to me. I am but a fluff riding on giant waves, the recipient of a flame whose origins I do not understand. And so, two days ago I gave up in utter and complete frustration and agreed to stop all attempts to capture it in words. I gave up and in the wake of my surrender, the presence came again. In the night it came - that mystical light which conforms not an iota to the laws of this world, nor to the piousness of my body and mind. Undaunted by my imperfections it sought once more to establish itself within my being in all its sunlit magnificence and impart a message to me.
 
Somewhere around dawn it came. I do not remember if my physical eyes ever opened or not, for I was in that peculiar state of consciousness which I have come to know so well, and for which I yearn so much these days, where my physical surroundings dwindle into nothingness as the ephemeral lights begin to twinkle into a crackling alertness in my mind, which signifies the coming of a great event.
 
The following attempt to describe the vision is a direct result of that particular visitation last night. I must put this down in writing. I must. I do not know why but I must. As I awoke from the stupor of sleep, I became conscious of an immense sea of pulsating and sparkling lights which seemed to be electrical in nature. The over-all color was orange but with gold overlying and darkness underlying and blackness in the background. Upon closer inspection I found that I was WITHIN this sea of tiny little specks of light, each one of which was so miniscule as to be as small or smaller than an atom, for they were not able to be seen with the physical eye.
 
I did not see any one speck individually, per se, yet somehow I knew that each one was distinctly separate from its neighbors and unique. Yet simultaneously it was a unified part of the whole. The effect was like a strange kind of liquid undulation heaving with a mightiness that defied description, and a unity that defied separation. This flowing sea of lights stretched in all directions into infinity for, again I don’t know how, but I knew that there was no end. I seemed to be part of this network of crackling lights that caused a great increase in my state of alertness. And as I watched I saw that each tiny spark was a mind with a consciousness all its own and it moved and glittered and sparkled with an intensity unique from its neighbors. The overall movement was one of exquisite sophistication and harmony not unlike a great orchestra caught up in a symphony of sounds where each instrument moves only in relation to the whole, never, never by itself.
 
I was overwhelmed with the immensity which was so obviously a living mind with vast powers of intelligence capable of holding the whole system together and in my heart there rose a song of devotion and praise, and I knew that I was one of those sparkling specks of light. I was struck with awe, and no matter in which direction I turned to look I could see far and deep. And I saw the varying shades and hues of light, the darker ones brownish in color falling into the backdrop, while the most brilliant ones, the color of the sun, came forward to catch and dazzle my eye, so alive where they - and radiating.
 
And now comes the hardest part of all. My words describe what I saw but there was another dimension to the vision which involved a penetration of feeling. The message that soon began to impress upon me was done through this deeper level of feeling. The sense of awe and grandeur to which I first awoke out of a dead sleep, was only the beginning. For shortly I found myself within the brilliant rays of a flaming intelligence focalized in the form of a sun. It burned with a white fire, whiter than any white I have seen thus far, yet I knew it to be a person. And as I fell into the magnetism of this intellect, I felt myself absorbing its attributes so that I was no longer myself, though I must have retained the shell of my former being in order to remember and describe it now. But for that span of time I was a part of that magnificent singular mind - that most impressive being - and I felt the whole spectrum of goodness - compassion, wisdom, intelligence, love, strength, purpose, clarity, refinement - it was, somehow, a fulfillment of what every mind should be, although who am I to say? I cannot imagine any mind on Earth ever attaining this grandeur even if it were to evolve for a million years. Such purity is impossible to imagine and yet, perhaps not. Perhaps not.
 
As I was being absorbed into the radiation of those rays, it was like being absorbed into the delicious rays of the warm summer sun yet a thousand times over. I became conscious of absorbing also a message most especially meant for me. I was being drenched with a quite specific instruction, through and through, body, mind and soul. It was so abundant and overflowing that at the height of the message it seemed that I WAS the instruction itself imprinting itself into every atom that composed my body. The moving pageant of the entire solar system would have faded into insignificance compared to that one moment in my life. And now I must attempt a translation into English, for this is specifically my task.
 
There was a prelude to the main body of the message and it was this: Had I been outside of the brilliance of this solar presence I would not have been able to receive its message. Thus for the short time that the message was being impressed upon me I was absorbed into it to become one with it. Only this way, I was told, could I have withstood its presence. This knowledge was given to me through an absorption into my whole being. The main part of the message was as follows:
 
“There is an element unlike any element thus far discovered by mankind. It has yet to be researched and known." This elemental experience was given to me but I cannot describe it in words. I felt it and I knew it for the space of several moments. This element is similar to a power, yet it is more than a power for it comes close to being a substance. It is not fire, yet it is similar to fire. It is not water yet it is similar to water. It is not air yet it is similar to air. It is not substance yet it is similar to substance. It is not intelligence yet it is similar to intelligence. It has all of the above elements within it, yet it is more. It is somewhere between the physical and the nonphysical. This element has yet to be discovered and known and written about, and I am one of many who can do it. There are others. Many, many people are involved with it at varying levels, but those who are dealing with it on other levels cannot define it. I am to define what I experience. The visions I see come out of it and my movements are an effect of it. All of the incredible experiences I have been having come out of it and now I must put my experiences into words.

In the lingering afterglow of this message I waited, as if on pause, because there was a secondary message. Its meaning was burned even deeper into the very core of me so that it became a permanent part of me, and it was this.
 
“I am not to presume that I know any more than anyone else pertaining to this element, for this is not the case. I have a certain purpose to accomplish, and I have been prepared to carry out this purpose. My purpose is that of a recorder, not unlike the historian who records the facts as he sees them. If there were no historians, there would be no history books for others to use as reference points and guidelines in their work with this new element.”
 
The experience was still going on as I began coming out of that brilliant place into a smaller, darker space and I awoke in bed beside Bob who was still asleep, trying to capture the echoes of it as it faded. Through my mind moved the haunting impression of once having held the glory of a sunset in the palms of my hands. It took me a long time to adjust to the flat darkness of the bedroom, time in which I became once more conscious of the clock whose red numerals glowed in the semi-dark and the heaviness of sleeping bodies. The soft light of the dawn was apparent through the draperies.
 
At length a bird called and pulled me all the way awake. I lay still and then at length shifted and put one arm across Bob and pulled myself close against his warm back, glad now for his fierce protection which in times past so annoyed me. I was glad because I could tell him in the morning about it. Who else would have encouraged these other worldly things and listened with such patience as I stumbled over the words? I pondered the element. What was it? The extraordinary feeling of it was still soaking in my depths. It was sensory. What does it mean? The feeling is hauntingly familiar. It is extraordinarily close. It is significant. But of what? I pondered a long time and finally went to sleep.
 
I woke about 10 with Bob and even before I opened my eyes I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt the meaning of the message. I could identify the element that has yet to be discovered. The element is the soul. The substance of the soul, the other side of the physical. I was stunned. My experiences have been with the mysterious substance of the soul, alive and real in everyone but yet unknown. The unknown element is the soul, that illusive substance of personal identity which is the keystone of the new age. Chills run through me as I write this.
_______

Postscript: This was written in 1982. Today 6/10/22, after a significant reconnection with DK, I re-read this again. He is showing me that the nadis, chakras and levels of the aura that I’ve been studying IS the element called the soul. We call it the etheric body but it’s the soul. I’m having at this moment another chill all over. 
 

9/20/82 - The light of love animates your every move

The light is you, dear ones, but you have yet to realize it and understand the concept of human nature which is a shadow of the real. When you say, “I am...” it is the light of love that speaks and everything that comes thereafter a perversion of that love. You are (I Am) a representative of the light and you have become a poor representative of love if you do not allow it to come through in everything that you do, for this is your primary destiny, to shine like a hero at his height, like the white knight in shining armor out to save the world. But distortion comes from misuse of this love. You are love, but you do not live that love.
 
The light of love animates your every move, it is what thinks in your mind, it is what feels in your heart, it is what breathes in your lungs, it is everything that perceives in you from your cells to the hair on your head, everything that is active and moving. It does not know evil, it does not create evil. It is all good, all-knowing, all wise, all loving, all powerful and it is everything that moves in you. But you do not realize it yet. You do not realize what you are in reality. And because you do not realize the goodness of your nature you hold it back, afraid that it is not sophisticated, not the way of the world. You do not allow it to express and thus you create the build-up of love energy that quickly turns to emotion-packed resentment for not being able to come through.

​This buildup of resentment is only the beginning of the evil which plagues your life and circumstances. It is not really bad, dear ones, it is merely an excess of energy compacted into an unnatural package, stagnating like a barrel of rotten apples due to lack of proper circulation, and it is overloading your tender form with seething chaos. The more you hold back the precious gift of love, the more cut off from your inner feelings and intuition you become, and the power to express is taken from you, making it harder and harder to speak your heart and your true thoughts. The heavier grows your form as the veil of confusion thickens around you, shutting out the light of self knowledge and the freedom of expression which is your natural gift, and the light of sun is diminished, trapped inside a heavy layer of darkness.


12/25/82 - Kundalini as a flawless crystal diamond, what you refer to as the Christ

The only advice I would give to someone who has had the kundalini awaken is this: you must adore the spirit that is now alive in you. You must, without a shadow of doubt as to the benefits, direct your thinking attitude towards the highest, towards God, towards the utterly pure and divine nature which is, indeed, the very fountain  now flowing through you. Without this conscious direction, as a ball player must concentrate on the conscious and physical pitch of his ball, it will go astray and lead you down some very dark alleys and byways, and unbeknownst to you as to how you got there, you will see only confusion, hysterics, and profound heaviness of spirit so that you will not want to live any longer. This is not said to scare you, for it is the truth. But it is said to show you, by comparison, what it is that must be done.
 
Gopi Krishna has selected the avenue of science to pitch his conscious energies, but as he himself has said, “I am not a guru. I do not wish to have followers or disciples for it would weigh upon my consciousness.” Thus, when he directs your focus to other things, do not forget that he has said, “The man must be of noble character. He must pray and adore God.”  He must be honest, not flawless, but contain those humane characteristics which we admire. This is the only avenue – the only avenue. It is the avenue of the crystal flame, the Christ within you.
 
There are gradations within the glory of the sunset. From the darkness of the opposite side of the world to the bright gold of the orb itself. Thus there are gradations within the galaxy of God’s power which cannot be known by man. It is passed through transformers to cut down the power, little by little, and each transformer is a living consciousness of God – a living being on the path of evolution back to its father source. You are a transformer. That which passes through you from on high, you translate into the low to spoon feed those under your wing. Thus, they who are under your sponsorship, in turn, spoon feed those beneath them. How many on earth have ever asked: “Who, then spoon feeds us from on high? Who are they? What do they look like? Are they men or angels and where do they come from and who beyond them spoon feeds them?”
 
No, not many ask these questions due to the business of their day. But there is, my loved ones, a network of living beings which extends from beneath your feet, deep and low within the earth, upward, higher and higher into the ethers above your head, out in the atmospheres beyond your earth which are, indeed, as you suspected, the higher realms of consciousness where God breathes his lovely breath into the ears of the angels that they may speed off with new messages. And so the golden network of living consciousness extends far beyond, out into the reaches of golden ecstasy and a light that you cannot comprehend to carry the truth of LIFE – that which bonds us together – to the furthest extremes of space and consciousness. It is this one element, LIFE, which is the cord of communication between us – you below and us above. Over this cord of contact we send our messages and you hear in your minds – but only if you are open to hear us. Only if you have turned your space ear towards us, through your attitude, your lovingness, through your humbleness, and your knowingness and your willingness to listen for you know we hold more truth than you can at this present moment. We are in the position of standing on a tall mountain to see below in the valley, to know the hazards, the right and the wrong way to turn. Thus we are here to help. We know the problems of that which you call kundalini. You yearn for answers. I have given you the only way to go. This is the way to turn for help, for expansion, for direction. Look up, with your heart. Look up with your hope. Look up with your inner self. Look up with all that you are, and you will always know the right way to go.
 
The ultimate power which retains its wholeness, which cannot be reduced by a single consciousness, this power can only reach man through a very small opening – a window so to speak – a window of clarity. And this window when seen through the eyes of a clairvoyant, is like a crystal. It is as flawless as a diamond and is even seen as a diamond and is often referred to as the pearl of great price. The jewel beyond value. The facets are perfectly cut to reflect the purity of God, each attribute of God, perfectly. One facet reflects love in utter perfection, in the totality that God, himself is. Another facet reflects truth in the highest as only God can be truth. Another reflects freedom as only God can be and give freedom. Another facet reflects the unity of his power; another the compassion of his heart, another the joy, another the peace. Each facet and there are thousands upon thousands of facets, each colored a little differently than the others yet connected to all the others in turn, allows the perfection of that holy ray of God to be focused, as the sunlight is focused through a physical crystal hung in the window. This crystal – this cristal – is what you on earth refer to as the Christ. It is a true crystal in every sense of the word Thus you need have no fear, when you use the word “Christ” that you are becoming enmeshed in dogma as the churches would do. It is a cosmic word, a cosmic reality, and it exists within every single living consciousness from the smallest atom to the largest star in your heavens. The cosmic crystal, the living Christ, is the window through which the power of God enters that consciousness.
 
It is tied in with the kundalini irrevocably – the kundalini is a portion of itself broken off and cast downward into the body to serve as a crystal anchor for that heavenly spark of consciousness. Without such an anchor God could never enter such low vibrations. Thus, to expand upon this spark, to open the doors that it may flow at a faster rate of speed, you must harmonize your environment, the seed bed of your own body and the foods you eat and the thoughts you entertain and the atmospheres through which you pass. You must clean up the seed bed of your mind by turning its direction toward the heavenly things. And you must clean up your environment by playing beautiful music to soothe the soul, mix with people who emanate peaceful vibrations and work where peace prevails, and shun the confusions of the world. Prepare yourself for peace. Sit down and work out the problems of your practical life to rid yourselves of the turmoil and bedlam and the unfair compromises which you yourself have created. Rid yourself of the problems, but not by running away, but by the process of cleaning up. When your house is swept clean, the holy rays from above of power, of love, of truth, of wisdom, that come through the crystal within you, will be able to flow more freely, unimpeded by the clumsiness and unwieldiness of the human creations that obstruct its flow. Turn toward the heavenly duties which you inherently know, deep within your heart, and then turn around and begin the physical act of cleansing, using the wisdom received by your heavenly contact. The hierarchy of light and life is at your very fingertips, no further than your own heart and mind. It takes but your own willingness to turn, abruptly, from the confusion toward the peace and love and light. This can only be done by you, by your own consciousness. It takes no physical act, but rather an effort of desire. For if you desire confusion you will not be able to tear your eyes from it. Check this lowly desire and know that all fulfillment and ecstasy and joy comes from above, not below.
 
But one word on working out your practical problems. It is true that a problem may disappear in the twinkling of an eye under cosmic rule, but that is only when the instrument is a perfect instrument, unflawed and unsoiled by the human condition. This is not the normal state of the normal person. Thus, a “working out” must be done. This requires the use of the “two-edged sword” – the tongue! Did you know that, blessed ones? That the tongue is that mighty two-edged sword so regaled throughout history as the tool of victory and truth? You must speak with those with whom you work and live. You must work through the inconsistencies and the illusions and the misunderstandings if you would have harmony in your household. They will disappear simply by turning your back, because there is another consciousness involved in your friend, which is evolving in its own space and time which is not connected with you at all, except in those areas that directly concern him. Otherwise, deep in his or her own mind and heart, she or he has a world different from yours, a logic that extends into other areas, a comprehension that may overlap your comprehension but it certainly does not cohabit it in its entirety and wholeness. Thus in your physical realm, you must learn to speak with one another, not AT one another, for in order to create harmony, you must dissolve into dust the mounds of distrust that arise from lack of understanding. If each could but look beyond the human condition into the very soul and spirit of the other person, one could erase these conditions on the spot! But this is highly improbable, for most people are in their darkness due to the fact that they are blind. Thus dear ones, talk to one another in love, in empathy and in honesty. End.


2/8/83 - Certain principles that govern the universe

There are certain principles that govern the universe and the world - cosmic principles that are irrefutable but which mankind does not fully comprehend yet. These principles are the laws of God as they are written in the scriptures of the world, because there was no body of science in those days of scriptural writings, and therefore no base of common understanding of universal action and reaction. And even today, the main body of mysticism deals with those principals that have not been defined and proven yet by science. Little understood is the brilliance of the light of reason existing behind the mind, yet it is governed by a consistency that has outlived the birth and death of many suns, many galaxies. Intelligence governs not only this little world, but worlds beyond our vision, and it is with intelligence that we must approach our inner selves, our inner sense, known throughout history as the third eye.
 
By following these principles, they will lead us out to the other side - the side of universal action, universal light. Mankind, with his reasoning mind thinks that they are moral principals, unnecessary to him, but he does not see how his disregard of those principles brings about his own unhappiness. It is no different than the plight of the ignorant man who sticks his fingers into the wall socket, alive with electric current. His ignorance of the principles of electricity does not prevent him from getting hurt; whereas his knowledge of how that current is directed throughout the house can save him from physical hurt and further, can also bring him many happy rewards as he begins to wake up and understand the benefits of the electrical force.
 
One of the first principles of life is that it deals in fact - in truth. There is no room for pretense in the kingdom of intelligence. What intelligent man would lie or pretend an untruth to arrive at a truth? A reality? Pretense, half-truths, manipulations of the truth, anything less than the whole truth, will produce the same: something faulty. “Know the truth and the truth shall set you free,” is an example of cosmic principle given to a people before their time. It is an immortal principle and therefore, an immortal teaching. Until an individual learns to deal in the substance of total truth, he is working against cosmic principals and in such a battle, we know who is going to win in the end.  To deal in truth is not a morality. It is a scientific approach to a scientific law, yet unproven by the measuring sticks of the 20th century. In this lesson we will limit the philosophy of dealing in truth to the realities of modern problems. It is, as you may will imagine, a problem of great complexities, for most individuals have woven such a fine tapestry of half-truths that it seems, to the naked eye, an impossible task to begin dealing in the whole truth. We will discuss this, and also, we will discuss further the reason why we should do this. Proper understanding of the principle of truth is an absolute necessity before anyone will agree to begin dealing in it.
 
Another important principle of life as it manifests around us in nature is the law of attraction and repulsion. Intelligence demands the observance of reality in situations. If something fits it is good, if something does not, it is bad. This is not a moral teaching, it is an observation - a keen observation that looks deeper than the skin into the inner heart of the things involved. It is not good to mix hydrogen and chlorine in the kitchen because it will create an acid which could eat away the hands or the container that it is kept in. They are not harmoniously balanced. It is also not good to put a bird in the same cage with a cat because the cat will eat the bird. They are not harmoniously balanced. Each belongs to a different order. So it is with the affairs of mankind. Each individual has an inner sense which speaks to him whenever he meets a new person. It continues to speak to him as he talks with this new person. And it will speak continuously to him as he carries on his affairs with this person. One must learn to follow the inner sense when it comes to day-to-day involvements. One must learn to skim off the beauty from the so-called ugliness of life and drink it to nourish the soul and keep the flame of hope alive. Otherwise, to force unwanted conditions onto the inner heart will drain the energy away. Wasted energy is a double negative for it kills the sustenance of the inner man on one hand, and on the other it prevents him from the hope that would drive him on.
 
Another principle of life so often overlooked in the daily affairs of men is the principle of freedom. The will to express is an impulse of much greater proportion than is realized, and it is less than intelligent to prevent its expression, for the will for freedom inside each individual is founded in a universal sea of force and it will build inside the breast if restrained. We are not dealing with human forces now, we are dealing with cosmic forces which have existed long before man came on the scene, and will exist long after he is gone. For man is the cosmic resident inside the house of clay and the strength of the cosmos lies behind him, ready to push him over the narrow edge constructed by limited intelligence. One must learn on one hand to allow the creative ideas of others to express, without negation, interference, or judgment. And on the other hand, one must learn to express one’s own ideas, thoughts and opinions, in spite of negation, in spite of ridicule, for such will be swallowed up if one perseveres, in the splendor of the intelligence from within.
 
Each individual is a source of intelligence, a light unknown yet, for it is unexpressed. Each individual is an unfinished product yet, and the brilliant genius lies yet untapped. The purity of the individual is that which the scriptures call “divine”. And the door of this divine self is here, now, where you are. The inner sense is the innocence of that individual, untouched and uncontaminated by outside influences.
 
There are, in reality, three Selfs. The first is the one you know yourself as right now - limited to external situations and confined to the world of other people. The second self is that of the heart - the one who desires freedom and knows that he could have it if he acted, but he is afraid to act. Not quite ready to act, he wants to wait a bit. This second self is aware that the power is within him, but he is still too influenced by the outer world, and he carries a wealth of past memory with him - memory of other lives, unpaid debts to other people. He is weighed down by these unfinished businesses. Yet, he knows more than he says.
 
The third self is the pure Self, a flaming glory of brilliance and clear reasoning and noble vision. The third self is aware of the cosmos and the laws of the cosmos for it IS the cosmos. It is hard to explain the third Self. If you could somehow see into the heart of your real Self - the immaculate purity of your real identity - that which says I AM - you would probably suffer a stroke of the heart for shock and shame at what you have allowed yourself to become. But this is not meant as a judgment, it is the human scene. The crystal purity of the true Self is a power formidable in its nobleness and its desire for truth, freedom, compassion, mercy. The true Self could not live in this world. It could not allow the compromises that are the necessary part of human life. Therefore, it is covered over with thin layers of darkness to cut down the intensity and the brilliance. This is true with every human being, saint or sinner alike. And yet, this brilliant consciousness is present within every human being. 


6/30/83 - Preparing for classes

This was marked 1983. Papers with no dates are from sometime in 1983. I remember preparing to give classes in Costa Rica to be held after hours in the Edifio Noga, the new building in uptown San Jose that our business moved into. I had only one class there but I was on fire preparing for them. As I  started re-reading these journals on 3/28/17 I could feel DK‘s presence VERY strongly. I am sure it was He who was working through me to get these classes started. There are many papers such as this in the files, which I have overlooked because they seem to be my own scribblings. At the time we were going through a great upheaval and I couldn't get the classes together. 
________

In order to awaken the inner senses, the outer senses must be softened and changed. This does not mean you have to make dramatic changes, but little changes here and there. All it requires is a little time and certain daily practice. The first change is to practice meditation. It is necessary to go alone behind closed doors for several minutes periodically throughout the day. This is to keep your mind in low gear and to prevent it from racing. As you begin slowing down your mind you will begin hearing your inner moods better and develop an attitude of greater respect. 

The second change is to practice expressing your true feelings more. It is necessary to express at least once during the day, one thought, idea or emotion that you would normally have kept secret and unexpressed. This is to soften the habit of mechanical action and mechanical response to situations. As you soften you become more responsive to your inner emotions and urges. You will activate the inner power which is dormant inside, except on occasion when it explodes in a carnival of expression.

The third change is to start changing your hard-nosed attitudes to softer, more understanding ones. Love is the greatest power in the universe. Do not underestimate the power of love, for it is a true power, and its hand-maidens are mercy, compassion, tolerance, understanding, truth, justice and freedom. These are the attitudes that will, when inserted here and there into your daily life, begin the magic of changing your inner feelings from coldness, isolation and loneliness, which is so common among humanity today, to softness when confronted with situations that once caused you to respond in a mechanical way.


6/30/83 - An electrifying kundalini activation (a personal experience)

This morning after Jim and Bob left I finished unpacking [we just returned to Costa Rica] and then did my exercises – the ones that seem to spring spontaneously into my actions when I most need them. Body is lethargic and heavy, dull from being in one place, one situation, one mental level for too long. So I’ve decided to run. I ran in the apartment this morning, did deep breathings outside on the front porch and then the movements started. They were strong!  They are always strong here! Not like Florida at all where I have to really be quiet to even find them, so light are they in the States. Here, no. They blow like a strong wind from the south. But this morning I thought to myself: I am going to try to direct these movements, instead of just letting it do its own thing. I’ve been questioning myself lately whether I should let IT do its own thing or whether I should intervene and direct it. Should I be passive or active while the movements are going on? It has been a big question.
 
So, this morning while the current churned through my body and legs and head in the sweet fluid movements of light and rhythm that I have become so in love with, I did something different. I formed a thought in my mind for the first time. “I respect you for you are the intelligence of the movements in my body and you are bigger than me. But I ask you now to focus your power onto the lower abdomen, into the stomach (I feel a laziness there) into the stomach and do what you have to do to strengthen this part of my body.” And as soon as I finished saying this in my mind (I felt like a mental pencil writing upon a mental page with a sharpened point) my body stopped its lovely movements for the space of several moments.
 
I noticed then as my gaze shifted, the mountains sprawled out before me, and the deep purple hue mixed with dark greens of the trees and the pasture lands, and the tall fir trees across the road below the porch. I realized suddenly, as a brand new thought spreading over my mind, how foolish I am looking so far and wide for the right place in which to meditate when the right place is always - ALWAYS - at my own front door step. Literally, in this case, and further, that this would be true in all instances, not just occasional instances, if I were to be more aware. And further, that this is the root of the problem for everyone, not just me. In mere seconds this realization established itself.
 
And then my body tensed. Muscles in the stomach tensed, muscles in my thighs tensed, without my intention. The powerful current seemed to concentrate in the lower part of me and I became aware of the muscles in the stomach as though my mind was suddenly inside - yes - I was inside a powerful force inside my abdomen muscles and I became aware of the looseness there and the powerful constrictions now taking place, pulling in, sucking in, forcing in, tensing, the elasticity of flabby tissue. The power ran down my thighs, the buttocks as if they were tied in to the abdomen and the organs inside. The power lingered in the stomach and the bowels are quivering with tension as the power seemed to concentrate, penetrate, unseen by me, performing some sort of operation. My awareness quickened, my mind was focused, sharp, but I could not tell what it was doing. Only that it was doing SOMETHING.
 
I elaborate here because of the uncanniness of the whole thing, for the force IS uncanny, intelligent and it causes me to be in awe whenever it moves through me for it moves without any effort on my part whatsoever. I have experimented over the years with my own effort to try to find the key, the answer to this strange force. I have experimented with my will, my own thought force, and it always proves futile. The power operates without my will, without my intention, without effort. It is uncanny because it is a totally separate force outside of me. I could almost say it is another personality because it follows a mind of its own. For the past seven years I have allowed it free rein in my body. My only discipline has been to yield to it, to give it space and time. I have forced myself to step back and give it room and freedom within my body. I have invited it to come in. I have surrendered my will to it because it has proven itself to me, that it is good and superior to my own intelligence and intentions. I trust it beyond even myself. I feel that I must talk about it, elaborate about it, tell others about it, because it is like discovering a new element, a fifth element after earth, air, fire and water. This is spirit, a force that comes from space, from cosmically-attuned space. It  comes from another dimension - a dimension of freedom and victory and class and nobility and light. It is not of the earth - it is not of the air, it is not of fire and not of water. It is something new - a brand new element arriving in this plane from another. It is new and yet it is not new. It is ancient. It is from beyond time. It is eternal. Yes, I elaborate on it because it is uncanny. And its movement through me leaves sparkles in its wake and it spreads revelations through my consciousness like a holy mist.
 
Now I am bending over, the force tightening my stomach muscles even more and my breath is forced out of me - not just out of my lungs but air is squeezed out of my muscles like strong hands squeeze water out of a sponge. And when it seems there is no more air left in me, the tightening continues, the squeezing continues and the air continues to exhale like a sighing wind blowing through an empty canyon, a siren's song, a long drawn out wail of wind. Where does it come from? I didn't know I had that much air in me. Finally, the wailing wind dies down and this organism that I once called my body begins to turn in the tide and into its hollows new air is sucked. Slowly, ever so slowly, eternally slowly, sucking, drawing, something is painstakingly filtering it in, consciously filtering in and the tissues expand,  the cells drink deeply of this new fresh air, and like a balloon I am pumped up with air. And again, the tide turns. Again some unseen, larger-than-life force constricts the muscles and performs the operation all over again. I am in the hands of a power that once was soft, now is hard, forceful and concentrated. Because I finally directed it to do a job. It's been waiting all these years for me to direct it. It is eager to be directed. I can see.
 
My body moves, jerks, spasmotic movements, the force - the awareness - moves constantly from muscle to muscle, from place to place, up my back, from muscle to muscle, down my left arm, down my right arm, blowing doors down, following the paths of least resistance, testing resistance, forcing resistance because I want it to break down doors. It is a blowing out of dead things - crusts, mental crusts, emotional crusts, now turned physical.
 
A crystal cord of liquid opalescent colors becomes apparent as the power moves through me. It comes from above my head and enters through the crown and descends down to the pit of the bowel area where the power is concentrating. It reminds me of an umbilical cord of a new born baby, which is almost translucent, except this is more crystalline with many colors shimmering through it. The power is flowing down this cord and exiting at the bottom into the pit of my abdomen. It is about one and a half inches in diameter, twisted and bulging with contractions.
 
Now my body is undulating like a belly dancer and I am making no effort. There is no work involved on my part. Undulating just like a snake. All the power heavily concentrated in the very center of my abdomen where the reproductive organs are and the colon. Thick, heavy power, crystalline like liquid life. Back and forth and forth and back, undulating and I remember that this is the very same movement that George Adamski showed me one day to do. Do this every day, he said, and your internal organs will retain their youth and elasticity, but I have not done it. Be a true woman, he said, like the belly dancers. There are very few real women in this world. They have not been trained in how to use their bodies. I would have felt regret but I had no time. All the concentration was taken up by the movements, as if my awareness WAS the movement.
 
When is it going to end? As the force continues to undulate I realize how lazy I am - physically - I want to stop and rest but the force keeps working. Don't mind me, I say to the thing, you just continue for as long as you want to. I'll go along with it.
 
Next, I am bending over again and blowing out hard, my head shaking back and forth, and my hands shaking water off of them, hard and fast. Like in the old days, the days of kundalini awakening.. This motion continues for as long as the undulating motion did, about one and a half minutes. In the old days it went longer. And then the power stopped dead. It was over and I went in and laid on the bed and slept for 30 minutes.

7/1/83 - Universal principles  

There was no date on this typewritten piece. It was received around 1983 in Costa Rica. There is a statement referring to me, personally, typing this - an example of how the one who is speaking meshes with the personality it is speaking through.
______
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There are certain principles that govern the universe and the world - cosmic principles that are irrefutable but which mankind does not fully comprehend yet. These principles are the laws of God as they are written in the scriptures of the world, because there was no body of science in those days of scriptural writings, and therefore no base of common understanding of universal action and reaction. And even today, the main body of mysticism deals with those principals that have not been defined and proven yet by science. Little understood is the brilliance of the light of reason existing behind the mind, yet it is governed by a consistency that has outlived the birth and death of many suns, many galaxies. Intelligence governs not only this little world, but worlds beyond our vision, and it is with intelligence that we must approach our inner selves, our inner sense, known throughout history as the third eye.
 
By following these principles, they will lead us out to the other side - the side of universal action, universal light. Mankind, with his reasoning mind thinks that they are moral principles, unnecessary to him, but he does not see how his disregard of those principles brings about his own unhappiness. It is no different than the plight of the ignorant man who sticks his fingers into the wall socket, alive with electric current. His ignorance of the principles of electricity does not prevent him from getting hurt; whereas his knowledge of how that current is directed throughout the house can save him from physical hurt and further, can also bring him many happy rewards as he begins to wake up and understand the benefits of the electrical force.
 
One of the first principles of life is that it deals in fact - in truth. There is no room for pretense in the kingdom of intelligence. What intelligent man would lie or pretend an untruth to arrive at a truth? A reality? Pretense, half-truths, manipulations of the truth, anything less than the whole truth, will produce the same: something faulty. “Know the truth and the truth shall set you free,” is an example of cosmic principle given to a people before their time. It is an immortal principle and therefore, an immortal teaching. Until an individual learns to deal in the substance of total truth, he is working against cosmic principals and in such a battle, we know who is going to win in the end.  To deal in truth is not a morality. It is a scientific approach to a scientific law, yet unproven by the measuring sticks of the 20th century. In this lesson we will limit the philosophy of dealing in truth to the realities of modern problems. It is, as you may will imagine, a problem of great complexities, for most individuals have woven such a fine tapestry of half-truths that it seems, to the naked eye, an impossible task to begin dealing in the whole truth. We will discuss this, and also, we will discuss further the reason why we should do this. Proper understanding of the principle of truth is an absolute necessity before anyone will agree to begin dealing in it.
 
Another important principle of life as it manifests around us in nature is the law of attraction and repulsion. Intelligence demands the observance of reality in situations. If something fits it is good, if something does not, it is bad. This is not a moral teaching, it is an observation - a keen observation that looks deeper than the skin into the inner heart of the things involved. It is not good to mix hydrogen and chlorine in the kitchen because it will create an acid which could eat away the hands or the container that it is kept in. They are not harmoniously balanced. It is also not good to put a bird in the same cage with a cat because the cat will eat the bird. They are not harmoniously balanced. Each belongs to a different order. So it is with the affairs of mankind. Each individual has an inner sense which speaks to him whenever he meets a new person. It continues to speak to him as he talks with this new person. And it will speak continuously to him as he carries on his affairs with this person. One must learn to follow the inner sense when it comes to day-to-day involvements. One must learn to skim off the beauty from the so-called ugliness of life and drink it to nourish the soul and keep the flame of hope alive. Otherwise, to force unwanted conditions onto the inner heart will drain the energy away. Wasted energy is a double negative for it stills the sustenance of the inner man on one hand, and on the other it prevents him from the hope that would drive him on.
 
Another principle of life so often overlooked in the daily affairs of men is the principle of freedom. The will to express is an impulse of much greater proportion than is realized, and it is less than intelligent to prevent its expression, for the will for freedom inside each individual is founded in a universal sea of force and it will build inside the breast if restrained. We are not dealing with human forces now, we are dealing with cosmic forces which have existed long before man came on the scene, and will exist long after he is gone. For man is the cosmic resident inside the house of clay and the strength of the cosmos lies behind him, ready to push him over the narrow edge constructed by limited intelligence. One must learn on one hand to allow the creative ideas of others to express, without negation, interference, or judgment. And on the other hand, one must learn to express one’s own ideas, thoughts and opinions, in spite of negation, in spite of ridicule, for such will be swallowed up if one perseveres, in the splendor of the intelligence from within.
 
Each individual is a source of intelligence, a light unknown yet, for it is unexpressed. Each individual is an unfinished product yet, and the brilliant genius lies yet untapped. The purity of the individual is that which the scriptures call “divine”. And the door of this divine self is here, now, where you are. The inner sense is the innocence of that individual, untouched and uncontaminated by outside influences.
 
There are, in reality, three Selfs. The first is the one you know yourself as right now -limited to external situations and confined to the world of other people. The second self is that of the heart - the one who desires freedom and knows that he could have it if he acted, but he is afraid to act. Not quite ready to act, he wants to wait a bit. This second self is aware that the power is within him, but he is still too influenced by the outer world, and he carries a wealth of past memory with him - memory of other lives, unpaid debts to other people. He is weighed down by these unfinished businesses. Yet, he knows more than he says.
 
The third self is the pure Self, a flaming glory of brilliance and clear reasoning and noble vision. The third self is aware of the cosmos and the laws of the cosmos for it IS the cosmos. It is hard to explain the third Self. If you could somehow see into the heart of your real Self - the immaculate purity of your real identity - that which says I AM - you would probably suffer a stroke of the heart for shock and shame at what you have allowed yourself to become. But this is not meant as a judgment, it is the human scene. The crystal purity of the true Self is a power formidable in its nobleness and its desire for truth, freedom, compassion, mercy. The true Self could not live in this world. It could not allow the compromises that are the necessary part of human life. Therefore, it is covered over with thin layers of darkness to cut down the intensity and the brilliance. This is true with every human being, saint or sinner alike. And yet, this brilliant consciousness is present within every human being. Is the watered down awareness of the self, as I am, here, now in this house, typing on this typewriter. And so, it is this that we would return to - the glory of pure power, pure innocence, pure knowing, pure understanding, pure intelligence.  It is this purity of self that is called the third eye, the inner eye and the inner heart, uncontaminated by the world of other men, singular in purpose, singular to the creative urge within. How do we go about doing this?  It must of necessity, be a job of discrimination and great wisdom, for we do not want to topple the systems of the world. We want to integrate our truth and creative expression with that which already is. Let memory be washed away and cleansed so no recurrent episode can bring it back to hurt. Release those who have harmed you in ignorance. They do not know what they do. One day they shall, but meantime, don’t intensify your bondage to the human scene. Release, and let go.”.

7/3/83 - Your consciousness is God consciousness

Your consciousness is God consciousness underneath the layers that cover you. It makes no difference how many layers cover you, your consciousness is still a spark of God and when you say, “I AM,” God is pronouncing a divine statement. Or at least he is trying to pronounce it underneath the doubts and inadequacies that you think you have. Still, your consciousness is God consciousness, dull as it may be. Your consciousness is the consciousness of the supreme creator, toned down, way down, to fit into this world. And everything you visualize and make a habit out of becomes a living creation of your own making. Your consciousness is God’s consciousness.
 
Not knowing this, you have created some unpleasant habits, creations that backfire on you and gotten you into some unpleasant situations.  But they are easy enough to change if you will put the effort in for yourself. You are a portion of God consciousness, the cosmic intelligence that made the worlds, galaxies and suns, but you are covered over by seven veils which are in reality seven densities which hold you down, and through which you have to work to get back to the Godhead out of which you descended and back to your full awareness of who you are, and to realize the glories you once had.
 
The only way to get through those densities is to burn your way through them and dissolve those densities.. And the only way to burn your way through is by activating the principles of God. That’s what human life is all about - experimenting with those God qualities on the Earth plane. God qualities mean good qualities, because God means good. It was declared, “Let it be on Earth the same as it is in heaven.” That is the desire of the creator to bring his goodness into form. That’s what we are here to do. That is our job - to make them active and useful principles on Earth, and we do that by activating them in our lives.
 
So to burn through those densities that hold you back you have to activate the six major powers of God, each of which burns through one density. The six major powers of God are freedom, peace, love, will, truth and knowledge. These are the six qualities that burn through the six densities. The seventh quality, which is purity or holiness, will come automatically when these six are practiced and used every day in every aspect of life on a permanent and consistent basis. This isn’t impossible at all, it’s not only possible, it’s desirable, and it’s fun, too. Because contrary to popular opinion, meditation is not a wishy-washy art, nor is God a mamby-pamby power. All power comes from God and you have seen a bit of what kind of powers we have in the world. There’s a lot more where that came from but we first have to know what we are doing or we’ll blow the whole world to smithereens.
 
So, whatever you can imagine or conjure up in your mind is going to become a reality if you do it consistently.  We have to begin with the simply idea of visualization and how powerful it is . Lots of people don’t understand the reason for ritual. They think it’s better to be spontaneous, but ritual is simply the act of forming a habit. We are going to form new habits in order to break out of the rut of the old habits. A habit is a creation. That’s why in order to bring about changes in your life you’re going to have to do these meditation visualizations every day. It is suggested that you do them three times a day - for only five to ten minutes each time. That is not a lot. That’s only fifteen minutes at the least and thirty minutes at the most. That is all it takes to change your life and bring some of your original spark of life or radiation or power back to you. You were the original creator of your life and your problems. You are now going to learn some techniques that will jar you loose from the rut so you can realize your creativity again. This is not wish-washy. Meditation is not going to put you into a trance, but rather it’s going to make you feel more alert, more alive, more eager to get back out into the world. If your meditation doesn’t do that, then you’re falling into a trance. And although there’s nothing wrong with falling into a trance, you’re not going to become more powerful that way. You’re going to become another spacey dependent.
 
So let’s get started by putting some dynamic habits into your life - rituals that follow the same pattern every day. When you get bored with that ritual, then it’s time to move on and develop a new ritual. If you’re bored from the first day, then you’re not giving it a chance and you shouldn’t even be thinking of meditation. You’ve weighed God down with your consciousness. Your consciousness is still God’s consciousness and it‘s up to you to get back to your original purity.
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1/23/86 - The radiation of kundalini explained

This took place about 10 years after kundalini's spontaneous awakening took me into the light. I was receiving non-stop, high speed energy/information which kept me unbalanced. It was difficult to process but I was moved to get up and move spontaneously in a dance-like Tai Chi way. Then transcendental radiation would seep slowly through me. Writing words on paper helped me in what I called automatic writing. One day we had just returned from three weeks in Costa Rica of hectic, non-stop activity, and I finally had time to be alone by myself. After a half hour of movements I sat and wrote a question on paper pertaining to the radiation I felt. This is what came through.] 
 
Wonderful sister I am you. Continue as you were. Find your space, accept my grace, for I give it unto you. Feelings race, power fair, generations come and gone do not release the fair increase of wonder in their souls. Do you have questions dear one or do you wish the solitude of my love?
 
(Me: I am sitting here, at first put out at having to move, but now feeling the radiation spreading throughout my body. It is growing increasingly stronger by the second. How I do love you and my/our connection! Please speak to me about the radiation I feel?)
 
Ten thousand souls would stand before my gaze and only one would sense what you are feeling now. The tender melting of hardness is the tendering of hardness - the crust that you permit to be built around you. Each cell, each particle of space that you affect is affected by your thought., Your immediate body is first to feel the crust of coagulated thought for you live within the spaces betwixt the center and the orbiting electrons. you are the creator of their worlds and your benediction soothes their vibrating bodies, your anger churns them into a vibrating mass of shock-filled wanting mass. Can you understand? Can you place yourself with me into this inner world that you carry around with you as you move?
 
(Me: Yes, I can understand.)
 
When you take your place in the sun as you did a while ago, you turned those tiny worlds over to Me. As I stepped through the veil of your focus, I stepped in with the power of love in my hands and in my heart, I stepped in to bring you peace. The radiation that you feel just now is my loving uninhibited by your actions and thought. I would give you this more often but you would have it not. (Why?) For months I have been prompting you with the proper way to go, your patterned past is still at work stopping much of the flow. Keep pressing on, do not give up, press the hardness out with love, tenderness is God’s own grace descending like a dove. Soft and sweet and easy, beautiful to behold, the gracious gift is the gift that is given without a thought to hold. Freedom is the facing of the sun, the acceptance of goodness and purity. Those who cannot accept that which is good in their lives are not free. Are trapped in the maze of a finite world.
 
You want to ask me about the wonder that you and I shared, you saw only a glimpse of our love upon awaking this morning. There is more to come. Open your mind, dear one, I am having a hard time coming through. Yes, that is better. Now, I am here with you at all times but you do not sense me because you are focusing on your outer world tasks. Do not misunderstand what I told you: to continue with your work. I do not mean for you to concentrate so hard! Let your vision lift to a higher plane as you work. Your thoughts are becoming too focused, too narrow, like a microscope focusing on a plate beneath its powerful gaze. Your world is one world - all that is in it is affected by your focus or by your freedom, by whichever thought and intensity that you assume. Would you not like to free your world? Yourself and your associates? Then free your mind from a too intense focus on one thing, one job. A job to do is but a minor act to perform in the maintenance of the whole. Your friends, your husband, your sons, your group, your very own grass and flowers and plants - these too must be cared for, not brushed aside for your work at your desk. Please - balance your focus, balance your vision, soothe your vibrating flesh. I cannot enter a place, a space that has become jagged with cross-currents of energy. Re-align your energies that you may feel whole again.
 
My beloved, my peace is hard to receive in your physical plane. All is against it. Those who have been able to receive me have removed themselves from exposure to the world’s influence. Yet, your world is against such removal and thus there are few who even try to find me. I am walking the cities’ streets with you. I am walking the isles of the offices and the investment houses, the stores and the many places of business. I am present in EVERY home - none escapes my presence, my longing, my love - and yet who hears my voice? How many stop and lift their vision to seek the peace I hold out to them in the palms - both palms of my hands? Can you not feel my devotion? My love I yearn to give to you? I do not ask you to give up all that you have worked for in this world of yours. I ask only that you give a nod of recognition as you pass, a quick raising of your mind to look up to find me before you continue on your frenetic pace.


2/5/86 - Who is the higher self?

[This was a channeling from my higher self after I had an exceptionally high session with tingles and waves of exhilaration and tenderness. I asked with pen and paper in hand, "Can you explain who you are in other terms than 'I am you'”? How does this work when others read your words? Are you the same to other humans as you are to me?]

A: When you were a small child your parents held you in their thoughts. You reflected outwardly as you watched them in their actions. Their deeds, their responses were a picture for you to copy. The ways of the world are hard and sure, not subtle at all compared to our relationship - you and me - yet the comparison is the same. As you move through the day I am projecting images upon your inner mind - on the delicate substance of your consciousness - that which I want to do. You in turn repeat the act in your outer form. Many, many people are following my progress towards a more enlightened world, yet they know it not. The beauty of perfect harmony between cause and effect is often too far for them to reach with their conscious minds. As you write these words, your mind is turned to a half-way position, like the shutters of a blind hanging over your windows. The sun’s rays are permitted entry into your room in the open position, yet as you close those same blinds the light is stopped. In the same manner does a mind open to the higher Self, whose sunlight is the power of consciousness - given unto the conscious (as you call it) part of the mind so that it may reason and cast insight onto the the day by day activities which unfold and carry one to final conclusions. When you refer to the All Intelligence, you are using a most proper term, for there is no limit to the sea of awareness which has fathered you. You are but a tip of the proverbial iceberg, so to speak, and you do not use the eternal qualities that you have at your disposal.
 
The air within the room is the same as the air out doors in nature, yet when you close your blinds you cannot see. The sun is gone, shadows fill the room. You stumble and fall where, as you open the blinds once more, Lo and behold! There is Light! So, you see, my friend, you are but a tiny object, conscious of your tininess only when you open your mind to see the vastness lying beyond. But as the sun enters your little room you absorb the loveliness of the sun’s rays. You absorb the warmth, the vitality, the glow and you become in your oblivion the sun itself. Can you detect my meaning? There is no dividing line which tells that you are here and I am there, for as you open yourself to me, you become me! I am you as you are me. As I have told you before, I represent your greater attributes, yet I am not all. There is an infinity for us to draw upon, I am the greater side of your own consciousness because in your daily life you must focus (or so you believe) and there is an edge whenever a focus is brought to bear on an object. The edge represents the blinds drawn across your window to shut out the light. Can you understand?
 
Me: Yes, I can understand. Thank you very much. This would indicate then, that all human beings are operating off of one consciousness, is this not true?
 
You know it is! The wonder that we contemplate in our domain is that this is not apparent to the vast majority instead of the small minority. The lesser minds are focused within a nut shell, shut away by their own beliefs in their separateness from Life. Yet Life is true to itself. It feeds all who exist and have their being with no discrimination one to another. The Light of consciousness floods the open gates, is rejected and turned back by the closed. The practice of meditation as you call it, is a fine and delicate process in the turning of the mind to stand ajar. In silence it must begin out of necessity, due to the turmoil in your society. But in time, one may while yet living in that same turmoil, begin to enjoy the peace that comes from maintaining an eternal mind that is permanently open to the greater forces of Life, love, peace and harmony that is forever available to all.
 
Your own blessings of life have been culled by your practices of sitting in silence, performing the delicate operation of cutting away the shadows of the blinders. Your open mind draws the Light into your interior and the stars of the cosmos blink on and off to signal your retreat and your coming forth. Never allow the world to shut your doors for you. Only you should retain that privilege. Withdraw from the world when you sense confusion. Withdraw from the world when you can no longer see. That is the sign that an eclipse is happening - a cover placed over your flow of Self. None of the Great White Brotherhood would stand still should a shadow cross their path. They would bolt and run at the first sign of danger. Then, when all is well, they would resume their stand and continue with the task of individual identity. Individualism is a lost art in your world. Individualism is a cause but only yet a dream, for they who would be an individual must first come to the center of self - the center of the Sun. For only out of the heart of Light can individual expression show forth untainted, untainted by the confusion and thoughts of others.
 
Me: Thank you for this thought. I am thinking now and therefore I have closed my mind to you - is this right? I am thinking that in order to create logic and conclusions, I must close my mind to follow them to an end. Is this right? Yet, why do I need an end. Why do I “work” to understand? You have told me that you would lead me!? There is something here that makes a difference. I would be “different” from other humans if I did not “think” and form conclusions. Yet, my most happy times have been when I was not thinking, but enjoying the ebb and flow within and around me. This is where you are leading me, is it not? Back to the beginning where I do not “think” but act according to impulse? Human beings like to think because they/we like to believe that we are the creator of our life.

Can you see so simply, beloved? I would take you by the hand and show you to the fountain of eternal life. There is no need to think. The process of life is an ongoing process that has no tomorrow. Tomorrow and yesterday do not exist but in the mind of the one who creates an “end”. There is no end and no beginning in the eternity of Now as your Emerson has so often said. We who grow in the Light of the Great One cannot bear to terminate the glow of Life as you do so often. The rush of power which you force into your minds and bodies through the closing of the doors, is a tension that causes blockages to occur on the tiny membranes of your body. The stress which you so adroitly used in your ad is the very reason why we would never go back to the time period of our mortal lives. The beginning of the end comes at the point of this realization. No can stop the flow and live!
 
Me: You have pushed the edges of mind a little further than before. Thank you!
 
No you have opened your mind to encompass a greater view of the Almighty’s mind. That which  has no end. All-intelligence implies a never-ending, no limit, supply of knowledge and light. I am feeding you as you reach with the fingers of your mind. I am the answer as you create the question. Simultaneously do the two join and become one whole. Questions are but focuses on one half, restricting knowledge from entering in. Then the release, the opening and the cry for solution. The marriage of a long lost soul with its counterpart creates a new beginning.
 
Why do you wonder? Have I not told you that I am here always? The day cannot turn to night lest I am there to show you the night. The morning breaks clear and sweet because I am on the horizon, riding on the sun. There is no length, no depth, no turning of a page in the consciousness of an individual that I am not there holding the lamp that you may find your way.
 
Me: Can you explain who are the voices speaking in SPIRIT SPEAKS? Are they members of the Great White Brotherhood or are they waiting embodiment? Dr. Peebles, for example, and Sole and Chief Sitting Bull once of the Sioux?
 
Curiosity does not become an angel of Light.
 
Me: Thank you. What can I do to help my own growth today?
 
We who are joined in the eternal land of livingness can see with great pain the soiling of your earth. Why do you continue to smoke? Can you not see the harm it is doing to your delicacy? Your mental control is in the cannister of a nut shell. Come higher, my friend. Join with beauty and the order of togetherness in thought. Plan your day around me and I will show you many wonders. Fill the stars with your worship, the skies with your song, the trees with your laughter, the night with your ..... Now you are wearing down, put aside your pen and relax with me. I will be with you throughout the evening.
 
Me: Thank you. 


1/16/87 - Kundalini is your life force

It has been said that 5% of us is locked into the body to keep the body alive. Well, the kundalini IS that 5%. What is kundalini? It is the life force, a concentration of light that is captured in the pelvic region at the tail bone. Here it is like Mother Earth herself - a molten liquid blazing mass of light of a high intensity, but locked away inside the physical flesh. From it, a main channel runs up to the brain and in smaller tributaries all over the land of the body through which flows in gentle motion this great river of light that feeds the body its intelligence and its awareness and sensings. However in most people the concentration of light is almost totally blocked off so that only small portions of the essence is dropped into the main stream of existence. In such tiny portions of flow, the person is what we call “normal”. He does not have sufficient Light moving through the body and brain to give him access to the wholeness of which he belongs. But little by little, over lifetimes of experience and hard knocks he is forced, literally forced, to expand the blocks. They are pierced and melted away through continually butting against the walls of himself. The blocks are the chakras. As the light pierces each chakra, more of the Light moves upward to batter against the NEXT block. Meanwhile though, as the Light is battering against the NEXT barrier, the individual is experiencing a transforming of his life, for he is now experiencing life on a new level.
 
For instance. The first chakra to be pierced, the one in closest proximity to the tail bone [first chakra], is the sexual chakra [2nd chakra]. Once this is pierced the most important aspect is freedom. He works on freedom. He cares about all people being free. He is the freedom fighter, the martyr for freedom in every avenue of human life. She is the “scarlet” woman, the free woman, who is liberated from all sexual mores. But she is also working to bring peace into the world - her world - for peace is the next chakra to be pierced [3rd chakra]. It is the next level of life to be experienced. So freedom is the first, peace is the second. The peace chakra is located in the region of the naval. Until the peace chakra is penetrated and melted, there is emotional confusion and emotional problems. But once the peace chakra is opened up, the light flows in and brings stability. While experiencing life on this level, the person is apt to be a counselor and peace-maker in the many fields of human endeavor. There are many outlets for making peace. Ministers, educators, even laborers and housewives who work on a small discreet level, but this person’s priority in life, the one moving force in their life, is to make peace. While this is going on, they are also working on the love chakra, to pierce that barrier. The love chakra [4th chakra] is located in the region of the heart. When the love chakra is pierced, they learn to love all people in all circumstances.
 
Until that time, they are having problems forgiving, they have not learned how to place love above all circumstances, but when they finally pierce the love chakra, light flows in and they are able to love freely. Then they live a life of total forgiveness. Their priority is to give and help and heal and love. And while they are experiencing life on the Love plane, they are working on the Power chakra [5th chakra]. The power chakra is located in the region of the throat and the vocal chords. Power is created through the speaking of words. Before the power chakra is penetrated, they have problems saying what they want and feel. They are stumbling and hiding certain aspects of themselves from their neighbors and friends. But when they piere the Power chakra, suddenly they find themselves saying what they want! And they are surprised and so are their friends and neighbors. Suddenly they are in more control of their lives than ever before, for the power chakra is a self control chakra. These are the orators of the world, those who speak before the multitudes, or the small insignificant places. If this power is misused, they become con artists, and dictators like Hitler who was charismatic. They are preachers and great industrial giants who can move others to their will. But while they are enjoying and experiencing life on the Power level, they are also working to batter down the doors to the Truth chakra [6th chakra].
 
This chakra is located in the region of the brain, often thought of as being connected to the pituitary gland. This chakra is the most complicated of all the chakras to explain, because it controls many things. But in essence, before this chakra is pierced, the person does not think so much about putting things into an order, such as logic or truth, and the world is in a state of chaos to him. But once this chakra is pierced the world begins to take on a semblance of order. HIS world. He begins to piece things together. The truth of things become important. He sees how things work and his priority in life is doing things according to his truth. These are the mental people of the world. They organize their truths and present them to the people as I am doing now. Through their work our world takes on a structure. These people are scientists, educators, researchers, whose top priority is work of a mental nature, sometimes so completely involved in their internal organizing they appear to be in an ivory tower. While these people are experiencing life in the mental plane, they are also battering against the doors of the highest chakra of all: the spiritual chakra [7th chakra] located at the crown, for through the work on the mental plane they come to realize there is something higher and they become curious. So, when they cannot find the pieces to the mental puzzles they are working with in daily life, they begin to look higher.
 
The light flows in an upward direction, always, to something higher. The chakra at the crown is the one which will enhance and add greater value to the one most immediate. And so the ladder of life is piercing one barrier after another until finally the spiritual chakra is pierced and the union is made. In flows the light from the great sea of eternal life, the oneness from which the individual spark of the person first descended and subsequently forgot. These are the mystics who have the visions, see God, angels, other beings like themselves who have gone on to higher worlds. They know the truth of life and they are ready to move on, if they have left nothing undone behind them. However, most people have left much undone, unfishished business, and gaps are still evident. So they have to go back and reconnect once more with the spark that lies at the bottom of the spinal column. For in the climb up the ladder, one quite often forgets that 5% still buried down below. It is a conscious reunion. This 5% is what the Indian folklore calls “activating kundalini”. It is what the Christian world calls the “holy spirit”.
 
When kundalini is awakened, or when the holy spirit moves in an individual, it is dynamic. One can feel the presence of something holy moving through him. It is not easy to explain to another what it feels like, because it is so pure and gentle, so peaceful and miraculous, so healing and soft, so full of truth and wisdom and knowledge. It moves the person to transcend the outer world, for he is now being wafted on breezes of something mightier than himself. He is not in control, yet he knows he is part of the greater whole who IS in control and he knows this so he does not fear any longer the outer conditions. He becomes absorbed into the oneness. He does not disappear. He is still here in body with his mind intact, but he knows who he is.
 
Now, each person who is alive and walking about in a physical body, is operating on one of these seven levels, or in some individuals on more than one level, for it is possible that a person is operating on two levels at the same time, through an overlap. A person can be operating on the peace level and the love level, both at the same time. Or a person can be operating on the freedom level and the peace level, both at the same time. Or on the freedom level and the love level such as Muniji Sushil, the Jain monk my sister was following, who is doing a lot of work with the terrorist groups (freedom fighters), and who exemplifies love. Or a person can be operating on the love level and the power level, such as the charismatic ministers who spread love around. Or a person can be operating on the power level and the mental level at the same time, such as Hitler who was charismatic and an evil dictator. Most often these people go astray and exhibit less than honorable characteristics. Or a person can be operating on the mental and spiritual. Most often these people are the religious leaders and quite often they, too, exhibit less than honorable characteristics. It is because there is so much Light that floods a particular region whenever a chakra is broken through, that a person becomes unbalanced and  may go to extremes in that region, imposing his will on others, believing, KNOWING himself to have hit upon the Truth. And he HAS hit upon the truth, but he must yet learn to balance this particular aspect with all the other six qualities of Life. There are seven major ones, which may be called by many different words.
 
It is the work of the ages, this working through the chakras. It is the GREAT work. This is the work of every human being. Each one of us is working on something that is profound to us. It is moving us, as we work on it. We are reaching for something, we know not what. We know we have to work on it. It is a priority in our lives. And so our daily tasks, our human relationships, our priorities in our life, all are dedicated to the resolving of this one problem, this one issue that takes considerable attention, so that we may pierce the barrier. Often our instincts place us in hard situations just so that we CAN learn. We could not break through a barrier unless we placed ourselves in front of an immovable barrier in our physical reality structure. So we marry people who we know subconsciously to represent road blocks to us. We do it from a soul level, not a mind level. We start out thinking we are in love with the person, and then we find out there is more here than meets the eye. This is so that we can work on our blocks.
 
When we have sufficiently done our work on each level, the next step is to coordinate ALL the levels. It is through the work of coordinating all the levels that we will experience the awakening of kundalini, or the washing of the holy spirit, who will help us to coordinate. Only by lining up the openings into one unobstructed channel, so that the light may flow down from above and up from below, can the joining or reunion take place. This is the mystical marriage. The wonders that occur at this time are many. Miracles happen. Sparks fall from the individual and land on others to vitalize the world around them.


5/29/87 - Be in the space between the atoms of your bodies 

[During two hours in the sun doing yoga, chanting and other visual movements, I am being told it is important to relax inward, to melt inward, for this is the real benefit.] 

As muscles stretch they release the Self. Most people make the mistake of focusing on the muscles and the pain. Focus, to be beneficial, you must be in the spaces between the atoms. Remember, you are more space in your physical body than you are particles of matter. It is to these infinite spaces that you must look! (Me: Why do eyes stimulate the force?) It is close to the pituitary, the optic nerve is closely aligned with the major nerve center of the head. It is a direct manifestation, an outer flow from that gland to the eyes, the lens through which you see. The eyes are overlooked as a muscle and must be exercised to draw the life force to them. Through them you are connected to your environment more than any other muscle or organ. And as you noticed, there are two, each giving a slightly different “slant” to things, one connected to yin or passive energy, the other connected to the yang or aggressive energy.

As your bible states, the two must become one to enjoy the fruits of heaven. This means the eyes must become aligned within. The two energies must meet and blend. The outer eyesight is but a reflection of the process going on within the person’s inner being - his or her ability to balance. The eye exercise is a good one. Similar benefits as other yogic practices lie in the successful and consistent practice of the eye muscle. Long before there was a physical body there was a system of energy bodies so marvelous and full of light and so beautiful to behold that it would be impossible to describe to one who does not have the memory. Colors, vibrations so exacting, so joyful, so intricate and in tune with the whole. The physical body is a shadow replica of that body of light and to which it will one day ascend and become one with again, absorbed, transmuted and enlightened by the energies of spirit. LIGHT!

10/10/93 - Sexual enlightenment

There are many levels to the sexual activity and you could say there are many dimensions hidden behind the veils of illusion surrounding sex. Diana and her circle of professional and spiritual brothers and sisters all have one thing in common. They are interested in bringing sexual enlightenment to each and every individual who asks for it, no matter on what level he or she is. We are here to walk with you and talk with you. Anakosha refers to, and means the process of releasing the blocks around the root chakra at the base of the spine in the sex area, and instructing how to raise it up to the second. Anakosha means releasing the Mighty God Presence that is locked in the body cells. Specifically it refers to processing the God Presence [kundalini or holy spirit] out into manifestation and provides gentle guidance in opening the stubborn resistance. It refers to the ecstasy that takes place when the individual learns how to let go and let God “come out” into his/her life and body, mind and actions.

The process of releasing the sexual force is tremendous and momentus. It is earth shattering, quite literally, for it “moves” former conditions out of the way that once was blocking. But it is not enough to release the monstrous force for it could be a dangerous force. The ancient cultures knew this and had schools to help people learn where to go with this powerful unleashing, which is like a snake whipping back and forth, lashing out and back, it could cause harm. They are taught how to control it, not repress it but be mindful of it and work with it as you would work with a mighty and wild unbroken stallion with soothing words, a gentle touch, an understanding ear, a softness, a wise gentling down with sensitivity which includes understanding that this force must have expression.

This sex force must be released periodically in each person, according to his or her need. And so with guidance from “the one above”, referring to the next energy center above the root force [chakra], the emotional needs of this most basic force is met. This is where those of you who are exploring the swinging field are today. You are in the process of recognizing, contrary to your forefathers, that this sex force MUST have release. Further, that it is good to release it, not bad, not dangerous, not likely to take you to hell but that it is actually wholesome and healthy for you, for your relationship. It creates balance for the rest of your life. It is the soul. The seat of the soul is the seat of sex. It is the bride, the female force.

​“Getting into swinging” is a major step over the threshold of the prison that says, “No, you mustn’t”. For a couple discussing this, getting to “Yes, I can,” or "Yes we can", is a decision-making process that requires connection, discussion and a mutual decision. “Yes, we can!” Or “Yes, we will explore,” or “Yes, we will give it a try!” A yes means you are ready to take the first step into a journey that will never end. The raising of the sex force [the kundalini or holy spirit] is the raising of the soul to God. The repression of sex is repression of the soul. The prostituting of sex is prostituting of the soul. The guidance of the sex force through the six gates above the root, is the guidance of the soul through interdimensional sensitivity (second chakra), wisdom and strengthening (third chakra), unconditional love (fourth chakra), will and determination to act (fifth chakra), intellectualism (sixth chakra) and union with God (seventh chakra).


2/16/94 - The Urge to Worship 

On the animal body and the state of worshiping upwards, it is not the body which is animal in nature, it is the attitude that is the unpleasant part.  In your worship and prayer you focus upward, and indeed there is a holy draft that sings upward into the heights.  It is within every man, woman and child that this sacred flame burns upward, and it is the center of the urge to worship.  A mistake has been made in judging the body as gross.  It is not the body, which is mindless in and of itself that becomes gross, it is the mind that lives in that body.  And so we lend attention to the mind.

Let us turn the mind in an upward direction in all that we do and the body becomes holy - a temple housing a holy mind.  We are here to awaken the body temple and the mental temple and the emotional temple and all of the layers of the body to the fact that God lives here within.  God is the good within man. It is God, not the little i who lives here within these walls of flesh and psychic turmoil.  And so the need for prayer, meditation and the lifting of the mind upward, upward, into the elevated state of worship.  We must learn to worship as we perform our daily tasks, worship as we play, worship as we work, worship as we play with pets, tend gardens, make love.  Our bodies are holy temples, let us worship as we swim, and talk with friends and eat our food and work at desks.  Let us worship the holy One, God, good, within, and thus we shall refine our bodies and accomplish God's tasks.
 
It is time for dramatic change. It is time to assert yourself. Take each morning and dedicate yourself to the Cause that fathered you. The dense matter which entraps you is not listening to your words. Assertion is required. Assert yourself to make a space, a time, a place for your words. Dedicate each hour to a cause. Each hour is dedicated to a purpose and reason for YOU being here. You have a purpose above and beyond the density of matter, of being lost in matter. Cleanse and purify yourself, your body first. THAT is the first order of the day. The second hour is dedicated to your Father Cause, your own Holiness. I am the Holiness, thus say, “I Am the Holiness of this body and I dedicate this body, I consecrate this body to the will that I Am.” Believe on Me the Holiness of my body and all things will come to pass.


7/15/95 - Tapping the erotic lifestyle

My child. You are here with me now. Take your time to relax. Go with the flow from inner to outer. Allow the phone to ring. Allow the world around you to ring upon your ears and your nervous system, digest it. Be at peace with your world and your inner self, allow them to merge. We are gaining a foothold here, we are coming through to you more than you realize in your focused attention on work. What you are doing is good, let there be no excuse at your timing.

Now, there is one thing we wish to convey to you. We are longing to tap your individuality - that which is in your soul and makeup. The tranquility of higher consciousness coming through into flesh via the erotic lifestyle, the sex, is a rare activity and we would tap it and use it and bring it forth. Bring it forth into the outer world for all to see. We wish you to write your messages and talk to the people. We wish you to teach and go on television and radio. We wish you to write letters and speak on phone. We wish you to exude the sparkling ecstasy teachings just as the rose exuded the sparkles to you in the Oklahoma backyard of Karen. You are holding it back. You are holding onto a very precious thing and we would ask you to release it. We would ask you to allow it to come forth. We would ask you to give it to the world, to your friends and your strangers. We would ask you to be generous with your knowledge and let it slip through your controlling fingers. Release control and relax.

When you relax, you become yourself. You are a mighty personage, a mighty light full of love, why do you hold on to that light and keep it sealed?  Allow it to express, allow it to shine. Give it forth.  Let your belief systems melt away and simply give. The first indoctrination to giving and letting go, for that is a mystery to you and you do not know how to do this, is to take one thing at a time. Take one step at a time. When opportunities knock, when invitations knock on your door to write or speak or teach, accept them. Do not hold back. Opportunities are invitations to you to give of yourself. Do not try to give something tiny at home in a controlled way, but give outward in a big way. There are people out there who are waiting for you to give forth, to come forth and give. They are waiting and you know they are waiting. Why are you holding back? It is time for you to begin your teachings. Do you have any questions?

When in a quandary, let it flow. Let it go. We are helping and guiding. The weekends you mention are good, allow them to mix as you are mixing your own life together. The outer and the inner, allow the old and the new to merge and mix, they will create a new personality for you to show the world. This is the beginning of Anakosha the soul. The spirit that is ready to shine, the spirit that is in you. The beginning of the meld.  Allow Dennis to help, to teach, to learn, to show the way as only he can show. All is naturally coming about. Allow it. Allow yourself to be who you are, and support Doug in being who he is all the way. Let us go all the way. Let us stop the holding back, the exerting of control.  Release and relinquish control.  It is to your SELF that you are relinquishing.  Can you not feel that? That there is that within you that wants to do this?! You know! 

Let yourself do what you want to do. Let yourself shine, and tell the others to let themselves shine, too. When they are all shining, you will merge together to form a flowering pod, an essence of holiness that will emerge into the world as a fifth dimensional flower, a flower of peace and abundance, wrapping the arms of spirituality around the flesh bodies and lifting them up higher and higher. We are ready to receive the flesh bodies into spirit light. We are there, waiting for the bodies to rise, to lift them up, we want them to look up, to smile at us and to wonder where we are hiding. We are waiting for you, for them, to seek us out and reach up to hold our hands. We are waiting to come out and show ourselves to you. You are holding us back by trying to control your actions. It is no different than when you complain about men in the group room who control the action there. Let yourself go and follow the river that streams through you and flows outward onto your world.


9/10/95 - You are lacking the embodiment

Writing down inspirations is the male in you.  You have been operating on the male frequency.  That is why you are experiencing dizziness and confusion.  You are lacking the embodiment of those teachings.  The acceptance of them into your body and life requires enfolding them silently into your womb, your love, without words and putting them into action.  You are their Mother, love them into expression.  A good mother does not force the growth or criticize or place conditions on her babies.  She does not judge or condemn.  Love them!  Put them into action.  Do this in silence, don't talk about it so much. Silence is the feminine attitude, subservient to the God within, the Mighty I Am.  It is not contact through words or decrees.  There is a place for decreeing and chanting, but the greatest need is to sit in silence with your creator, your Father/Mother God.  Come within, my child.  Come within to be at one with me.  Leave your song books, your decrees, your teachings outside the door. DK * The male in me is basically unhappy, because he is predominantly thrusting outward beyond himself, shutting himself off from his holy Inner Sense.  The female in me is unhappy because she has all the answers for she is in touch with her God Self but she is lonely.  A part of herself is missing so she is not at peace.  The ideal is to bring your attitudes together, your male and your female, within yourself. This has nothing to do with your husband.


10/16/95 - Greetings, I Am Anakosha

(I don't remember typing this, unknown date. Approximately October 1995.)

Greetings, I am Anakosha. I am the divinity in you.  I am neither male nor female, but the combined force of both - a force as opposed to a "cancelling out" as some would suppose, or neutrality.  When you consider the imbalance of male or female separately, you will see that each suffers from a need caused by a lack of union with the counterpart.  Thus the eternal search for a suitable mate which takes up so much time.  However, once that suitable mate has been found, the struggle for a mate is over and the struggle for balance begins, for finding a mate does not bring the long awaited balance.
 
The interaction between male and female is an interaction that takes place within yourself.  The sex force is a physical manifestation of a deep spiritual hunger.  The sex drive is the urge to balance the two extreme natures within you, positive and negative, or as some would say, the aggressive, outgoing, confident nature, and the passive, introspective, shy and hesitant nature.  These two natures exist in all beings for they are the yin and yang, the pendulum of the cosmic clock.  It creates the urge to grow and change.  It creates curiosity and the urge to find ways to unite.  The perspective from one extreme causes curiosity about the other and if the pendulum of opposite views should cease, outer activity would cease also, for the world would come to a rest in the arms of loving embrace.
 
But this is only an appearance from an outer standpoint.  An outside observer would not see the ecstasy between the two lovers, would not see the high energy of love.  And this brings us full circle back to the first statement of this discourse:  Greetings!  I am the divinity in you.  I am neither male or female but the combined force of your two opposing natures.  Congratulations, you have brought those two eternal enemies into friendship and brought peace to your members.  You have "jumped the track" of the third dimension and are now participating in the fourth and fifth dimension where oneness is the underlying urge, not two opposing urges.  Where once your main thrust in day-to-day affairs was war and struggle and finding solutions to end the struggle, in this new dimension of beingness, the underlying urge is to share.  It is not a struggle but a love whose only desire is to share and unite with others.  That is why you are called Anakosha - school of oneness.  You represent An, the One.  Kosha meaning school.
 
I am the divinity in you.  When the male and female nature in a person is brought into harmony and balance so there is respect and acceptance of BOTH natures (by the ego), then the wall between the two melts away.  The joining of forces creates an extraordinary power, the power to love, to heal, to soothe away fears and pain.  It is the power of the divine love, for the mystical marriage has been accomplished, meaning not two separate individuals coming together in marriage, but two separate parts of the same person are now brought into alignment.  An outside observer will not know what is happening unless they too be already on that high plateau and from that inner plane "see" the mighty event take place in another.  But try as you will, you will not be able to explain the condition to another who has not yet brought his or her male and female into alliance.
 
The urge to share with another man or woman from their fourth dimensional oneness will not take the shape of sex.  That is, genital sex.  The future shape of sex is intimacy and bonding.  Those who express the need to slow down are seeking to hold back their aggressive male natures.  Their control.  Those who seek to speed things up are seeking to spark, ignite the passion in their female natures - their OWN natures, not some one else's.  But because they live in the third dimension with physical focus, which is the eternal playground of internal processes, they transfer these needs onto their mates.  Husbands and boyfriends seek to ignite a firey sexual response in the wives and girlfriends when they are really trying to encourage and bring forth the totality of their own feminine self.  They really want to be able to accept the nurturing nature that is in THEM, and which they have for the most part denied. 
 
Their inner urge is to be able to feel and emote, vs. think and act.  They want to be able to cry and be in touch with the innocence and the child in them, too, just as their mate symbolizes.  So they are reaching for femininity, not knowing how profound, how deeply seated their desire is.  They have reduced it to a genital satisfaction (the sex act) because they are male dominant.  They are aggressive and thrusting outward into the world of others and other physical things.  They want to make a dent in things, to make changes in the world.  But the deep inner urge is to find peace within which only softness can provide - an easing up and a letting go.
 
I am Anakosha, the School to which you come to learn about Oneness. In your field of sexuality, you will play a different role than most. You will take the struggling male and the struggling female and try to bring them together. Use Tantra - the Tantrick tradition came about as a tool for those on the fourth dimension to help ease the way of those stuck in outer entrapments of sex. 


11/18/95 - On coming Home

[I thought I'd be entering a steeper discipline program but upon awakening I intuited back to bed and slept in extreme coziness and awesome peace.  I asked, Why am I not being directed to meditate?  The answer was lovely, stunningly not what I expected.]

Coming home means settling down and inward, ceasing the struggle and accepting yourself just the way you are.  It is similar to the ripening of a fruit.  Germination is a surging forward. Chelaship is learning how to settle.  Relinquish the struggle. Surrender to the force of nature within you.  It knows what you need. Your training as a chela is in following your heart, not a premeditated structure such as an imposed meditation discipline program.  That is now in the past.  You have earned a new role.  You have earned the right to be a chela.  It is not what you think!  Chelahood is not following the controlling ego but following the peace within, following your spirit, your angel, your divinity.  Mankind has presupposed a falsehood concerning God and deity.  There is no need to struggle. Look for signs around you, follow the flow about and in you.  Do not work at it, allow it.  All of the teachings are pointing you in this direction: Allow!  


12/1/95 - Shape your divine personage

Be conscious of extending upness, the light of an upward consciousness. Happiness and carefree delight.  So you are confused!! Delightful!  What you DO with these confusions is the greatest opportunity you will ever have.  The confusing onslaught of light energies is God's energies, is God - use them to shape and mold your divine personage.  What YOU do with your confusing energies is uniquely you.  Figure them out, play with them, instill them with your uniqueness.  Make them your own and become the Immortal Self.  Remember love.  Some focus on freedom, some on truth, some on ascension flame, some on joy, some on healing.  Each of the masters has chosen an attribute to mold his thoughts and feelings around.  What will you mold yours around?  What is the most important attribute to you? Shape it, mold it, ground it.
 
The meaning of grounded is feeling like you are a part of the earth, that you belong here, not a foreigner.  As you develop this sense, you descend more physically into your body.  As you do, you rearrange molecules in your environment to suit you.  Remember, your movements did that for you in the early days.  You bring the light to earth as you "ground" and live here. Whenever you close your eyes, picture gold light condensing within your form.  You are capturing the gold light in your body as you cease allowing it to escape outward to what you see. When someone asks questions, seemingly picking on you, know that it is only because they sense that you know things they don't know and this is their way of getting you to reveal your knowledge.  They do not know how else to get you to talk!  Our advice to you is, don't give them answers to their questions, give them what they need according to your perceptions.  Be astute. We give you new inspirations every day to keep you ever active and moving.  Give THEM new inspirations beyond their questioning.  Their world is fixed within carefully defined borders, help them to break down those boundaries, for that is what they seek.  They want to move on as do you.  We will keep you mentally stimulated. Our meditations are designed to increase your vibrancy and agility. Your world is being agitated, like water boiling on a stove, letting off steam.  Go with the energy flow and don't resist.  Do what is before you and don't worry about what is ahead or behind.  One step at a time, stay in your center.  Stay grounded here and now.
 
I want to give you a gift.  I want to give you back your imagination. Whatever you imagine is true and right and good, so allow your imagination free reign.  The deep underlying anger that you feel has to do with what has been taken away from you.  Your imagination, I give it back to you on a silver and gold platter, a crown upon your head.  Imagination is the key to brilliance, to unifying conceptualizations and to bringing ideas into manifestation.  Break the word up and you have I-magi or I-magic the magic of I.  Meditation is all about using imagination. 


12/2/95 - Don't ask permission to be who you are

Women are activated by love.  Love is an electromagnetic frequency.  Do not ask the male to change - just present the female.  See your female side, your left side, growing strong and thrusting and taking on the male role in order to present the female.  See the male side of yourself, your right side, becoming smaller, passive, surrendering in the perfect attitude of surrender.  As the male in you becomes cloaked in female aspects, so will you become strong in presenting and holding true the female.  Your mistake lies in expecting males to "learn", and wanting to "teach" them.  Rather Live!  Be who YOU are rather than asking someone else to change.  Be who YOU are.  Don't ask for permission to be who you are.  Tell others who you are.  Express to others who you are.  Show others who you are.  Speak yourself!  Show yourself!  Let no one keep you from actualizing.


3/24/96 - Time control is power control

(Me: How can I create more energy?) Time control - control like in maintaining control. (Me: How does this fit in with being open to Spirit and flowing with All-That-Is?) It is male vs. female.  Both dance together in the give and take of your daily life.  You made your whole life female and flowing, but neglected the male control.  You must begin to exercise control to activate and stimulate your male side.  Otherwise you are waiting for others to take the lead, become a passive follower, a victim.

(Me: At the end of SSG when B died, I was still loving, giving, nurturing and this power carried on for the next year, year and half, two years. But gradually it died away and withdrew.  I realize that my lovingness and givingness was a momentum and a power that carried me on its wings!  When it stopped, I stopped caring and my sensuality died, too. Today I move through parties without passion, I don't feel as alive as much. I feel the death and dying function working in me.  I am not as outgoing. Please, what are your comments?) 

Rotate your time control during off hours, but don't be so exact: one hour yard, one hour meditation, one hour personal desk, one hour housework.  To exercise the male, just become conscious of cutting off one project, YOU do the cut off.  Don't let another force cut you off.  YOU take control of your cut off of one project and the start of another.  It doesn't have to be exact.  It's not time you should be conscious of but control or power.  YOU retain control of your energies.  Life is energy.  When you let others direct you, you are losing energy to them, feeding their life pattern.  It is precious control energy that should be yours. Power is made by what goes before.  It therefore takes determination and will power to break through the momentum and power of the past. 


5/14/97 - Do not ask the male to change

Do not ask the male to change, just present the female.  See your female side growing strong and thrusting, taking on the male role in order to present itself to the world.  Feel this on your left side.  Feel your left side growing stronger and stronger, filling out and becoming larger.  On the other side, see the male side, the right hand side of your self, becoming smaller, retreating and becoming passive.  Existing in the perfect attitude of surrender. Surrender!  Allow your male side to surrender.  As the male in you surrenders to the female, you will become stronger in presenting the female version of yourself to the world, and be able to hold true to it.  Your mistake has been in expecting males to 'learn' and wanting to 'teach' them.  That has been a weakness.  Rather LIVE your femininity.  BE your femininity.  ALLOW your femininity to exist in your being.  Don't ask permission to do this.  Just DO it!   Tell the world you are feminine not by words, not by teachings, but by speaking yourself, showing yourself and acting yourself.  Let no one force you back under.


5/20/97 - Mastery is to walk in alignment with deity

The act of the master is to blend, to enlarge, to intensify the beingness of others.  Mastery is to walk in alignment with the deity within.  You do not lose your individuality, THAT is heightened.  What slips from you is your sense of separateness.  Mastery is the process of becoming your own perfection only to realize you never achieve it, for once you have mastered one portion of your perfection, you find there is a more finely tuned portion you have yet to bring forth.  Walk softly, that only you and the Creator source know of your good works.  Sit in the quietness of that which you are, that you might come into the realization of your own attunement.


6/9/97 - Androgynous lovemaking

There are three sexual approaches. There is the man's approach, the woman's approach, and then there is the androgynous approach.  The androgynous approach is what Anakosha seeks to bring forth. It is very rare. It is a mutual energy exchange which is not in the way that man vs. woman do it, but as two people newly in love and exploring do it. It is the introduction of the higher energies of grace, respect, humility, sensitivity, love, compassion, empathy, all of these things and more, come into play.  A woman gives all of these to her lovemaking freely, and she doesn't hold back out of defensiveness, bitterness or anger because she knows her male partner is full of givingness, too.  He is offering her the same, and thus encourages her by his own gracefulness, gentleness, refinement, sensitivity, care, tenderness and wanting to please, even though he is holding a virile male in check, inside. 

When two such people come together in the act of sex, there is now a different form of sex. Where there are two givers sensitive and kind wanting to please each other , not to take, there is created an androgynous field of vibration around them which elevates them to higher ground.  Higher spiritual energies are pouring through the two of their bodies, eager and willing to dance together. They know they are two separate individuals, each with a separate past history and with different talents, different ages, different bio-economic backgrounds, and different career choices and family structures waiting for them at home.  But they are both willing to set all of their differences aside now in this act of sex, in favor of the higher qualities. They bond well. They are open to each other and to Spirit as it pours Itself through the two vehicles, merging into a rare oneness which seldom happens on earth. 

They feel uncannily in sync and they themselves do not know why because they didn't do it.  They merely allowed it by choosing the graceful, sensitive, allowing mode, rather than the "do-me-I'll-do-you" mode of sex.  In the man-woman approach, there is always one who is doing something to the other, and one who is passive and receiving from the doer. And at some point the control switches to the other person and THAT person is now the doer, generally making the motions of penetration or giving oral pleasure with their mouth and tongue.  And perhaps the man doesn't give up control, never surrendering to the woman, in which case she gives her silent consent to remain passive throughout the entire length of time that the sex act occurs. 

This was often the case 100 years ago, but in more modern times woman  are taking more control.  Our swinging lifestyle is an effort of men  to give power back to women.  They are more expansive and generous than they have been, "allowing" her to experience other men with his permission.  He is trying to make amends for his long period of dictatorial control.  Women control by their mere consent to be there and men yield their control to them by attitude also. The field of swinging is a continuation of the man vs. woman game.  but on higher levels.  One is still in control over the other, alternately, during the evening of sex with multiple partners.  It is not mutual dancing together.  I do you first, you do me next.  Then we'll penetrate together.  You might say that the actual act of penetration is mutual but there is still a thrusting and a receiver, one pushing, the other pulling, in the aggressive motions of sex.  Someone has to be behind the thrust and someone behind the reception to allow the act of penetration to occur.  It is therefore a give-take situation.  Still a polarity, still on the level of a see-saw, one is up while the other down. 

Androgynous sex is, in contrast, allowing spirit to do ALL the work.  Spirit is an attitude rather than a thing.  It is pure Spirit.  Spiritual sex is love.


9/18/98 - Consider the opposite, look deep into the other side

(I am in meditation and questioning. Anakosha is a school, isn’t it?  What can I do to help the most?  On a practical level. How can I help? Answer:) 

Be free. Consider the fruition of purpose whenever you give a place to the sun of self. Be careful when you live happy. Redeem the power of your selfhood. Power is in the holding forth of your self. Where is the one you want to help?  Is it not here within?  Be at peace. You do not have to search for an answer. Rest. Relax. Enjoy who you are!  You are the love of the Creator. You are the power of the momentum of the Creator moving through you. Where will you go from here?  I will tell you. Please consider the world of the opposite.  Consider it. The plan is to merge, but the opposite must be considered. The place where you do not want to be, or where you have not made peace with. That is the plane of your love. That is the salvation of your beingness. In the quandry of the complex, look deep into the other side, the other side that you have rejected. I am here to serve you with answers to your questions, but you have to use those answers and walk the path that those answers pave before you. Come up higher and let us sing together the story of the first-born. The one who is your Self who has not fallen. He/she is every bit a part of you.
 
(I ask, what can I do to further the cause of freedom within Anakosha?) 

We of the higher spheres are watching you progress.  There is none of the old school left in you from the Zephyrhills days. There will come a time soon when you may go forth in your plans to implement the school of Anakosha.  We will help you. This is YOUR project. You are the one who is bringing it forth into manifestation. Do not look to us for credit or longing. We are your brothers and sisters, and we will help you, but you are the one who sees the value in what you are serving. We do not. We cannot help you with the values. But you are God in action and God is shining his light on the people in this movement through YOU. Your light, your vision is the brightness that will light the way for others to follow.  The support you give to your people is the strength of the will power. The highest cause, the highest purpose, the highest morality is the one you present to them. Do not give that up.

Allow yourself to shine and use the words that you feel in your heart. Do not look to us so much, but rely upon your own self to make this work. Do not place so much credit on the parts of others. Yes. They have their own strengths and powers, but retain your goodness and your virtues to your self for these virtues feed you and nourish you. If you give them away they cannot help you; they help the others. Energy, even God’s energy, is either given away or retained. Plausible actions are waiting around the corner.  Create from the right brain and not the left. This is your thinking side, and the side that must consider the practicalities of the people around you. Do not waste so much energy on wishing and waiting for the universe to give you what you need. You are the power. You are the energy. You are the one who will make Anakosha move. Do not be afraid. You will have what you need at the time you need it. We are here to help. 

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